[audio; phone]

[wirsinddiejager]

[For a few moments, there's nothing but faint shuffling noises. Then:]

Is it on? Oh thank fuck somebody help, I'm- oh fuck-

[There's a thud, followed several minutes of swearing and ragey noises.]

Goddammit, just get me out of this thing ARGHRHGH-

[It goes on for like that for a while.]

Comments

1/3

[drama8om8]

[ WHAT THE FUCKSHIT ]

audio; 2/3

[drama8om8]

Alan? ALAN HAVE YOU BEEN KIDNAPPED SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE

audio; 3/3

[drama8om8]

WAIT WAIT NO DON'T CALL THE POLICE CALL ANYBODY BUT THE POLICE WHO'S TAKEN YOU ALAN I'LL MIND CONTROL THEM I'LL MAKE THEM PAY I'LL SAVE YOU!

audio;

[wirsinddiejager]

I'M NOT CALLING THE FUCKING POLICE I'M CALLING THE NETWORK BUT MY GODDAMN FUCKING PHONE FELL HURRGHRAARGH HATE EVERYTHING

voice;

[schild]

Alan? You okay?

[ THE FUCKING PAPOOSE I CAN'T. ]

voice;

[wirsinddiejager]

I AM THE OPPOSITE OF OKAY

voice;

[schild]

I could tell.

[ Phonecall firefighter is go? ]

Okay, try and remain calm and explain what's happening to me.

[Voice]

[shiromadoushi]

You okay? What's going on?

[Voice]

[wirsinddiejager]

NO I AM NOT OKAY I AM TIED UP IN THIS FUCKING THING AND MY PHONE FELL AND I CAN'T EVEN

[Enjoy some more incoherent rage-filled screeching.]

text; 1/2 comment spams u

[shortspoken]

???

audio; 2/2

[shortspoken]

[ wait shit he probably can't see that, can he

Okay

Okay

Ellie's gonna do it

SHE'S GONNA DO THE THING

SHE'S GONNA USE VOICE ]

Are you in trouble?

[ She might be half-whispering like a tool. HOW INCONSPICUOUS ]

Video, via paper

[originaloddcouple]

ALAN?

ALAN?

ALAN?!

ALAN?!

ALAN?!?!?!

ALAN?!?!?

Y'ALRIGHT?!?!?!

audio;

[wirsinddiejager]

NO I'M NOT ALRIGHT MY LIFE IS NOTHING BUT HATE GRAAAAHHRHGHR

audio; phone

[hawaiianheir]

Alan, what the actual fuck is going on?

[wirsinddiejager]

I CAN'T GET OUT OF THIS THING AND MY PHONE FELL AND I HATE EVERYTHING

[Audio]

[doomedtheworld]

[Oh, crap, this sounds serious. What the hell is going on? She'll follow a couple of the replies here for a minute to see if--

-- papoose.....





Nope. She's just going to sit here laughing instead.]

[Audio]

[wirsinddiejager]

IT'S NOT FUNNY!!!!

voice;

[hollowleg]

Jesus christ Alan, do you think you could repeat all that? I DON'T THINK I FUCKING HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME! Fuck!! How are you so LOUD?

voice;

[wirsinddiejager]

IT'S A TALENT

Video -- webcam

[soulsborderline]

[Looks like Asuka specifically went and made herself popcorn so she could broadcast herself reacting to all of the other threads.]

[Whenever you have time to check, there's just going to be a redhead in a dorm room eating popcorn and smirking at the camera.]

video;

[wirsinddiejager]

[Much later, there is a response in the form of Alan flipping her the bird.]

audio; cellphone

[hoennmaihime]

Why didn't you use video? Maybe someone would have been able to help you without breaking into your home?

[boys....]

audio;

[wirsinddiejager]

I was kind of having issues with handling the phone, okay!

audio;

[enrages]

[ A WHILE LATER?? ]

Are you still dying?

audio;

[wirsinddiejager]

I wasn't dying in the first place.