savetheearth | [audio; phone]

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[audio; phone]

[For a few moments, there's nothing but faint shuffling noises. Then:]

Is it on? Oh thank fuck somebody help, I'm- oh fuck-

[There's a thud, followed several minutes of swearing and ragey noises.]

Goddammit, just get me out of this thing ARGHRHGH-

[It goes on for like that for a while.]

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That kind of does help is it fucked up that that helps.

I honestly can't even tell what is fucked up and what is not anymore.

Well, if. If we're like. Both cool with the things the other person does or feels or whatever, then. It's probably okay? Like I don't give a fuck what most of the other chumps think about me anyway.

Right. Yeah, if. If we're both okay with it, then. That's what's important?

Yeah! I mean, I think you're cool and heroic and a good person and junk. So if I don't do anything you wouldn't do then we are set! And I think we can both agree that murdering dudes to save each other if it seemed like the safest option would totally be okay.

As long as like. Murdering isn't the first option. Let's try to avoid it as much as we can.

Uh, right, yeah. Duh! I mean if we just atsrted straight-up murdering people all the time then we'd get bitched at so bad.

And also murder is wrong! That too.

[ SHE'S JUST JOKING ABOUT THAT BEING AN AFTERTHOUGHT OK SHE'S NOT THAT BAD (YET) ]

Well, hopefully we won't be getting into trouble all the time anyway. Not the kind of trouble that would necessitate killing people, at least.

Only the regular type of trouble, where we just smash monsters and chase off deer and dig our way out of life-threatening makeout-induced lootfort cave-ins?

Exactly. The kind of trouble involving makeouts is particularly okay in my books.

Then you need to hit me up after you get de-papoosed, wow. I am in all kinds of trouble over here! Maybe all the trouble. And I would be hells of grateful to any heroes willing to help me out!

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