savetheearth | [audio; phone]

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[audio; phone]

[For a few moments, there's nothing but faint shuffling noises. Then:]

Is it on? Oh thank fuck somebody help, I'm- oh fuck-

[There's a thud, followed several minutes of swearing and ragey noises.]

Goddammit, just get me out of this thing ARGHRHGH-

[It goes on for like that for a while.]

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I guess so. I must not've been too popular in dark rooms, huh?

[ Come on Alan, what better time to make jokes??? ]

Better a papoose than handcuffs and that sort thing, right?

[ Oh Ryan you sweet summer child. ]

[Ryan's just getting all the eyerolls directed at him right now. All of them.]

Wow, that's really original. It's almost like no one else made that joke before. Except for the part where they did and it wasn't any funnier then.

Ah-- That one wasn't actually a joke. I mean, just from what I've seen in our memories, handcuffs would've made more sense to restrain you... so, past-you wasn't... that bad?

[ YOU HECKED UP, RYAN. ]

I mean, the memories I had of you have all been good so far. We still fought on the same side.

[ How do you explain this weird camaraderie with a high-schooler.... ]

...Yeah. I guess being on the good guys' side is something, at least.

[He sits on the side of the bed, looking tired.]

But past me was seriously crazy. Like, scary crazy.

Hey, it's okay.

[ Team Dad is here for you, Alan. Ryan sits down beside Alan, setting a hand on his shoulder. ]

You're not him. No matter how much you remember, or how weird things get. You're not fighting titans here or going nuts. You're Alan Hunter.

Yeah, I know. I know.

[The second time he says it more to himself than Ryan, trying to reassure himself.]

...I'm not sure about the going nuts part, though.

Hey, don't worry about that. You've got people here who can help you. It'll be different.

[ You can hope, Ryan. ]

It's not like we can stop the echoes from happening, though. Like the latest thing - it was just a dream at first, I only just fully remembered what it was about yesterday.

[He rubs at his neck uncomfortably.]

At first I thought it was something good for once.

What was it?

[ Glowing eyes or not, Ryan's still your concerned ~~squadmate~~ baradad. ]

I was a titan. And I was going around killing other titans. A lot of them. And...really enjoying it.

Yikes. [ Ryan rubs the back of his neck reflexively. ] Do you have any idea why?

[ Maybe we should be scheduling you with a therapist, Alan. You're gonna need one ~~yesterday~~ soon. ]

Not really. Just that I...wanted to wipe them out. For all I know, it was just past me being totally nuts. Though at least in the other memories where he was getting his murder on, there was a pretty good reason for it.

[Therapy might not be a bad idea.]

They must've been hurting people. I mean, I remember some bits of past-you and... well, you only ever seemed dedicated, not totally nuts. What made this time different?

[ Woe if only the Network had one of those. ]

Trust me, I was nuts. The whole bloodthirst thing...it's not entirely new, but it's never been as bad as those dreams.

[He stares at the floor, unable to face Ryan.]

I didn't even feel human.

Hey.

[ There goes that hand on your shoulder again, ~~Eren~~ Alan. ]

You weren't yourself. You've been in control before, right?

[ If it was actually his first time then Ryan totally recently had an echo for that so YEAH TIMING. ]

Yeah. Maybe. I don't know. It's not like any of this shit makes any sense.

I think... I mean, we turn into these giants, right?

[ At least Ryan knows that for sure, now. Congrats on being the Armored Titan, Ryan. ]

Think about it... the first time, everybody probably loses control. You've probably just had bad luck with these memories. Especially not knowing the how or why-- it's enough to freak out anybody.

[He takes a deep breath calming down a little.]

Yeah. Yeah, you're probably right. It was just really freaky, you know? Especially since I thought they were good dreams at first. Ugh, and then this fucking thing.

[He picks up one of the shredded cloak scraps that make up the papoose.]

At this point I'd be willing to pay for an actual good echo.

[ There ya go. Team dad is here for you, squeezing your shoulder when you need it. ]

You've gotta run out of bad stuff eventually. Or at least make good stuff of your own to balance it out. You had me, and Annie and Bertholdt for sure-- I'm sure we have some good memories in there somewhere.

[ Things like talking about growing old together after the titans are defeated... haha... ]

[Gosh team dad you're so reliable and reassuring.]

Right. No one can only have shitty stuff in their life, right? Even crazy past selves.

[Haha well...]

[ That's his job!! Hahahahahahaa ]

Right. Plus, remember that's not you. Even if you got back all of past-you's memories and quirks, he can't change who you are.

[Ahahahahahasob]

I hope so. But I'm not so sure about that. I mean, I've already haven't changed, haven't I? You saw me in the mine. I wasn't like that before.

It's like the titan thing-- You snapped out of it in the mine, right? The difference is here you've got friends who know what to look out for. They'll help you out.

[ Past-you is your superpower, Alan. With great rage, comes great responsibility. ~~Just don't try to kill Ryan or anything hahahahahaha~~ ]

[He nods slowly.]

When you put it like that, maybe it really will be okay.

[~~Oh like he would ever hurt you hahahaha~~]

Yeah. Just keep your chin up, Alan. It's nothing we can't overcome, I know it.

[ Baradad believes in you, Alan. He always will. ~~Even when you want to kill him.~~ ]

Edited 2013-10-01 18:05 (UTC)

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