savetheearth | [audio; phone]

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[audio; phone]

[For a few moments, there's nothing but faint shuffling noises. Then:]

Is it on? Oh thank fuck somebody help, I'm- oh fuck-

[There's a thud, followed several minutes of swearing and ragey noises.]

Goddammit, just get me out of this thing ARGHRHGH-

[It goes on for like that for a while.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

None.

Because it ain't something even anti-heroes would do, I guess.

Oh, come on. There's totally stuff where that happens. Like, uh...

[Give him a second.]

...Wait, Bioshock Infinite! You can make enemies kill themselves in that! And Booker's totally an anti-hero.

[And he dies at the end but shhhh.]

I PLAYED THAT FUCKING GAME ALAN HUNTER STOP COMPARING ME TO PEOPLE WHO DIE AT THE END OF THINGS I ALREADY DIED AT LEAST TWICE I AM SO FUCKING DONE WITH DYING ALAN LIKE YOU DON'T FUCKING KNOW

WELL HE KIND OF DOESN'T DIE SINCE HE'S STILL ALIVE IN THE PROLOGUE BUT THAT'S NOT EVEN THE POINT, THE POINT IS THAT YOU ARE GOING TO BE FINE AND THERE WILL BE NO DYING

HE DIED AND NOBODY CARED OR LOVED HIM EXCEPT HIS DAUGHTER AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE A DAUGHTER ALAN LET ALONE A MAGICAL SPACEBENDING DAUGHTER

Edited 2013-09-29 20:11 (UTC)

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DIE AND ANYWAY I CARE ABOUT YOU AND LOTS OF OTHER PEOPLE DO TOO AND MOST IMPORTANTLY YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DIE

This is stupid I hate everything I hate my stupid life and I hate my stupid potential death and I hate stupid hero bullshit and I hate past me and I hate THE WORLD AND EVERYTHING IN IT.

Hey hey hey no. It's gonna be okay, Octavia. I promise. You're not going to die.

Yeah. I know. I mean that's not what Jesuses and-slash-or bad people and murderers do or anything.

You're not any of those things. You're not past you, and you don't have to be anything like her if you don't want to.

Well. Yeah! But sometimes it seems like a good idea to be like her? Like she did some super cool shit. She overthrew a queen! A queen.

...Well, maybe it's possible to be like her in some ways, but only the good ways? You don't have to murder people to do cool shit, right?

But what if the cool bits are part of what seeded the bad bits! And I mean like. It might be too late? Because I would still hells of murder the bad guys if they tried to get you. And yeah I'd probably flip out after but I'd still do it! Bluh.

I don't know. I'm not really good at all this philosophy stuff or whatever.

But...I dunno, it probably doesn't help, but if someone tried to hurt you, I'd murder the shit out of them too.

That kind of does help is it fucked up that that helps.

I honestly can't even tell what is fucked up and what is not anymore.

Well, if. If we're like. Both cool with the things the other person does or feels or whatever, then. It's probably okay? Like I don't give a fuck what most of the other chumps think about me anyway.

Right. Yeah, if. If we're both okay with it, then. That's what's important?

Yeah! I mean, I think you're cool and heroic and a good person and junk. So if I don't do anything you wouldn't do then we are set! And I think we can both agree that murdering dudes to save each other if it seemed like the safest option would totally be okay.

As long as like. Murdering isn't the first option. Let's try to avoid it as much as we can.

Uh, right, yeah. Duh! I mean if we just atsrted straight-up murdering people all the time then we'd get bitched at so bad.

And also murder is wrong! That too.

[ SHE'S JUST JOKING ABOUT THAT BEING AN AFTERTHOUGHT OK SHE'S NOT THAT BAD (YET) ]

Well, hopefully we won't be getting into trouble all the time anyway. Not the kind of trouble that would necessitate killing people, at least.

Only the regular type of trouble, where we just smash monsters and chase off deer and dig our way out of life-threatening makeout-induced lootfort cave-ins?

Exactly. The kind of trouble involving makeouts is particularly okay in my books.

Then you need to hit me up after you get de-papoosed, wow. I am in all kinds of trouble over here! Maybe all the trouble. And I would be hells of grateful to any heroes willing to help me out!

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