[audio; phone]

[wirsinddiejager]

[For a few moments, there's nothing but faint shuffling noises. Then:]

Is it on? Oh thank fuck somebody help, I'm- oh fuck-

[There's a thud, followed several minutes of swearing and ragey noises.]

Goddammit, just get me out of this thing ARGHRHGH-

[It goes on for like that for a while.]

Comments

voice;

[drama8om8]

Triggered.

voice;

[wirsinddiejager]

Retroactive trigger warning: not entirely serious requests for euthanasia.

voice;

[drama8om8]

Euthanasia is a touchy fucking subject, okay. You don't get to make jokes about people asking other people to kill them, and I continue to not make jokes about you getting eaten.

Even dirty ones.

Even when it would be really fucking funny.

voice;

[wirsinddiejager]

I'm sorry? I didn't know it was off limits. Not that it was the same kind of thing as me getting eaten, at least.

voice;

[drama8om8]

It's. Kind of exactly the same! Since that's how other me bit the dust. Sort of? Because the guy I-- she asked couldn't actually man the fuck up and do it.

But I mean I'm fine and shit! I'm not like. Barfing or crying or whatever.

voice;

[wirsinddiejager]

Oh. Oh. Wow. I'm.

Wow, I'm sorry.

Also you didn't really need to mention the barfing and crying thing.

voice;

[drama8om8]

Oh my god don't be such an adorable chump. Remembering it was kind of scary because it hurt a lot but I seriously am fine and compleeeeeeeetely unbothered. See how my voice is remaining completely casual about the fact that I bled to death slowly on a stone slab while begging for death? That's not acting.

voice;

[wirsinddiejager]

[OW that sounds so many kinds of horrific.]

Okay. If you're sure you're fine. But you know, if you ever need to talk about it or whatever...

voice;

[drama8om8]

Urgghhrrhhrghr stop being the most adorable. How the fuck am I supposed to compete when you are so distressingly precious? GOD.

voice;

[wirsinddiejager]

Nooooo shut uuuuuuupppp

[Can you hear the blushing, Octavia. CAN YOU.]

voice;

[drama8om8]

Only when you stop preshing at meeeeeeee! Most precious. Preciousest. Precious cutie-cute boyfriend.

[ ALAN'S BLUSHING IS AS AUDIBLE AS OCTAVIA'S RAMPANT DOKI-ING

LOUD AS FUCK, YO ]