five; text

[enrages]

hey, so the mine trip was a bust.
some chick hacked some emails and shit, and basically found some conversations that said the Sage of Earth of whatever was a total hoax, but that Thunder corp was specifically searching for something called "Target 1" underground.
considering how dumb it would be to just start digging tunnels and drilling everywhere, we assumed they'd be using the mines to search.

well, we were wrong. (big surprise)

i don't know if anyone ever really officially reported their findings or whatever.
basically, there were those weird blackfuzzy hairy things and it legit looked like they were on drugs.
that was about all we found, because everyone getting those weirdass pulses.
i sure do love when all our leads run dry!!!!!!!
^^^^sarcasm^^^^^



as for happy funtime karson updates, i finally passed out after staying awake for an entire goddamn month.
and completely hypothetically speaking and not linked to finally sleeping or any pulses i may or may not have had,
i have a question.
uh

does

anyone remember dying?
like, legit dying, you are dead and gone and there's no way you're coming back through magical superpowers and it's probably your fault that you died?


EDIT: according to people who can't be classified as legally insane because of lack of sleep, there was a buzzing sound in the mines.

Comments

[hawaiianheir]

I DUNNO LIKE
that dumb douchey capslock
i've been staring at it for like five minutes
i cannot properly articulate what the fuck my brain is doing

[enrages]

IS IT TRIGGERING YOU?
APPARENTLY IDK OCTAVIA AND I ARE SOULBONDED, AND PEOPLE TYPED IN BLOOD COLORS WHICH IS SOOOO MESSED UP.
BUT UUH
MAN, ARE *WE* SOULBONDED?
AM I NOW ASSUMING SOULBOND LEADERSHIP OVER YOU?!

[hawaiianheir]

I DIDN'T ASK TO BE PUT ON THE SOULBOND SHITHEAD EXPRESS THIS IS A VIOLATION OF MY RIGHTS
but like
i'm pretty sure taffy and i are soulbonded?
so maybe like
i guess we might be soulbonded
i think my brain is still trying to process it but it's
definitely nagging at me like
what the fuck is this

[enrages]

I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE.
NO ONE HAS ANY FUCKING CLUE.
IF I HAD A DOLLAR FOR HOW CLUELESS I AM, I WOULD BE ABSOLUTELY FUCKING BATHING IN DOLLARS BY NOW.
I WOULD TEAR MY CLOTHES OFF AND FASHION A DOLLAR WARDROBE SO I COULD STRUT AROUND LIKE A GINORMOUS TOOL.

[drama8om8]

8h w8w gu8ss whose puls8 c8me thr8ugh.

 

CG?

Karkat?

[enrages]

UH.
KAR SON
KAT HLEEN
WAIT SHIT HOW DID YOU KNOW MY MIDDLE NAME?????

[drama8om8]

No n8 no no no n8 no no that was y

 

 

Haha, Kathleen? SERIOUSLY? Lol.

[enrages]

SHUT THE FUCK UP, WOMAN.
YOU DON'T SEE ME TENDERLY CARESSING MY CHUCKLEFUCKS OVER "OCTAVIA."
YOU ARE NOT ONE TO JUDGE ON SHITTYASS NAMES.

[drama8om8]

8ut. KATHLEEN.
Isn't that like. Child a8use?
That a8solutely has to 8e a thing. KATHLEEN????????

[enrages]

LOOK, MY DAD WAS JUST
OUTRAGEOUSLY DRUNK AT THE TIME OF MY BIRTH.
WE DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW IF MY NAME IS SPELLED WITH A C OR A K.
KARSON LOOKS BETTER THAN CARSON, SO I JUST TELL EVERYONE IT'S SPELLED WITH K, BUT ON THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE, YOU CAN'T ACTUALLY TELL.
I THINK KATHLEEN IS THE NAME OF SOME OLD FLING HE HAD A LONG TIME AGO, BECAUSE WHENEVER HE GETS SHITFACED, I HEAR HIM CALL HER AND WAIL HER NAME WHILE CALLING HER A BITCH A LOT, WHICH IS SO DUMB BECAUSE EITHER SHE CHANGED HER NUMBER OR SHE NEVER ANSWERS THE PHONE, BECAUSE HE NEVER HAS CONVERSATIONS WITH HER.

SO
STEP OFF.
WHY DID YOU KNOW KAR KAT
THAT'S REALLY FUCKED UP.
CG???

[drama8om8]

Wow yeah ok that doesn't sound fucked up or hilarious at all!
My mistake. Phew! Glad you cleared that up for me, 8rave leader. >8)
And I didn't know Kar Kat. I knew KARKAT. Or other me did????????
I remem8er talking to you a8out teams? 8lue teams and red teams. On a shitty chat client where you were CG and I was AG! 8ut I kept calling you Karkat and you called me

 

really mean names actually wow past you really W8S a raging d8uche.

[hawaiianheir]

wait

...karkat?

[drama8om8]

Yeah. Say hi to your new 8uddy Karkat, Dualscar! Lol. XI

[hawaiianheir]

woah
woah woaasdfsdf hold on taff-
tavia
seriously slow down i think am having one of those zone out moments
like i don't know about what but holy shit
like i feel like i think this thing is happening

[drama8om8]

You "feel" like "this thing is happening."

 

 

Are you coming on to me. >8|

[hawaiianheir]

why would i-
TAVIA
just like
okay no i'm having one of those
pulse moments, maybe?
my brain is freaking the fuck out but nothing's coming to it yet

[drama8om8]

Try 8ashing your head against the nearest wall!
Worked for me, 8ro. ;)

[ 8D ]

[eras]

wait what is this soulbonded leadership thing danny mentioned it to me briefly

[enrages]

oh yeah i forgot about danny.
he's under my soulbond leadership too.
basically if you somehow share memories with our weirdass group of people, you are my responsibility.

[eras]

i guess he might qualify as the lime-y color?

who exactly is in this group
out of completely unrelated curiosity

[enrages]

me, danny, octavia, mac apparently, me and octavia remember a guy named sollux who types just like pissbaby neckbeard, but the pissbaby doesn't remember shit.
there's probably more shit that i haven't thought of, and there's probably more people soulbonded to us.

[eras]

oh i don't mind being soulbonded to danny

[enrages]

what


what do you soulbond remember?

[eras]

it was the gdoc
ii remember 2omeone who talked liike thii2
2ollux

and i actually find it somewhat comforting tbh

but if that's the case you can add that one guy to it

there are other things too and i don't really mind listing them but i already promised not to talk to some people about them so i didn't inadverdently make them remember things
again

[enrages]

text it to me?
as soulbond leader, this is shit i need to know.


also uh welcome to the team???