five; text

[enrages]

hey, so the mine trip was a bust.
some chick hacked some emails and shit, and basically found some conversations that said the Sage of Earth of whatever was a total hoax, but that Thunder corp was specifically searching for something called "Target 1" underground.
considering how dumb it would be to just start digging tunnels and drilling everywhere, we assumed they'd be using the mines to search.

well, we were wrong. (big surprise)

i don't know if anyone ever really officially reported their findings or whatever.
basically, there were those weird blackfuzzy hairy things and it legit looked like they were on drugs.
that was about all we found, because everyone getting those weirdass pulses.
i sure do love when all our leads run dry!!!!!!!
^^^^sarcasm^^^^^



as for happy funtime karson updates, i finally passed out after staying awake for an entire goddamn month.
and completely hypothetically speaking and not linked to finally sleeping or any pulses i may or may not have had,
i have a question.
uh

does

anyone remember dying?
like, legit dying, you are dead and gone and there's no way you're coming back through magical superpowers and it's probably your fault that you died?


EDIT: according to people who can't be classified as legally insane because of lack of sleep, there was a buzzing sound in the mines.

Comments

[enrages]

UH.
KAR SON
KAT HLEEN
WAIT SHIT HOW DID YOU KNOW MY MIDDLE NAME?????

[drama8om8]

No n8 no no no n8 no no that was y

 

 

Haha, Kathleen? SERIOUSLY? Lol.

[enrages]

SHUT THE FUCK UP, WOMAN.
YOU DON'T SEE ME TENDERLY CARESSING MY CHUCKLEFUCKS OVER "OCTAVIA."
YOU ARE NOT ONE TO JUDGE ON SHITTYASS NAMES.

[drama8om8]

8ut. KATHLEEN.
Isn't that like. Child a8use?
That a8solutely has to 8e a thing. KATHLEEN????????

[enrages]

LOOK, MY DAD WAS JUST
OUTRAGEOUSLY DRUNK AT THE TIME OF MY BIRTH.
WE DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW IF MY NAME IS SPELLED WITH A C OR A K.
KARSON LOOKS BETTER THAN CARSON, SO I JUST TELL EVERYONE IT'S SPELLED WITH K, BUT ON THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE, YOU CAN'T ACTUALLY TELL.
I THINK KATHLEEN IS THE NAME OF SOME OLD FLING HE HAD A LONG TIME AGO, BECAUSE WHENEVER HE GETS SHITFACED, I HEAR HIM CALL HER AND WAIL HER NAME WHILE CALLING HER A BITCH A LOT, WHICH IS SO DUMB BECAUSE EITHER SHE CHANGED HER NUMBER OR SHE NEVER ANSWERS THE PHONE, BECAUSE HE NEVER HAS CONVERSATIONS WITH HER.

SO
STEP OFF.
WHY DID YOU KNOW KAR KAT
THAT'S REALLY FUCKED UP.
CG???

[drama8om8]

Wow yeah ok that doesn't sound fucked up or hilarious at all!
My mistake. Phew! Glad you cleared that up for me, 8rave leader. >8)
And I didn't know Kar Kat. I knew KARKAT. Or other me did????????
I remem8er talking to you a8out teams? 8lue teams and red teams. On a shitty chat client where you were CG and I was AG! 8ut I kept calling you Karkat and you called me

 

really mean names actually wow past you really W8S a raging d8uche.

[enrages]

W
WHAT WAIT, WHAT DID I SAY????
WERE YOU DESERVING OF TERRIBLE NAMES??
BECAUSE YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN?
YOUR PASTSELF SOUNDS CRAZY AS FUCK, WITH ALL THE PIRATING AND FAIRIES.

[drama8om8]

I remem8er "vile 8acksta88ing sociopath" and "little psycho girl" and you said we would never 8e friends. Not even h8 friends. And if I was a little girl I guess this was 8efore the pir8 thing? Yeah.

[enrages]

WOW, THAT'S FUCKING RUDE.
UH,
I'M SORRY?
I MEAN, IT'S TOTALLY JUSTIFIED IF YOU WERE EVENTUALLY THE ONE WHO MURDERED ME.
BUT IF YOU AREN'T, THEN DAMN, I'M REALLY SORRY?

[drama8om8]

 

 

 

 

Did the deathsplosion come from the person's hand? Like from a little round white thing?

[enrages]

I




I DON'T KNOW.
IT CAME FROM THE ONE IN THE SKY
THE ONE WHO I FELT REALLY BETRAYED ABOUT.
I MEAN IT MIGHT HAVE COME FROM A LITTLE ROUND THING?
I JUST COULDN'T SEE IT FROM WHERE I WAS.

[drama8om8]

I remem8er a greensplosion in my hand. And it wasn't meant to happen? Like something had gone wrong or something and I was really mad and scared and then 8oom.

 

 

 

REMEM8ER I S8VED YOUR L8FE YOU CAN'T H8 ME I S8VED YOU FROM AL8N 8'M YOUR FRI8ND NO 8ACKSIES.

[enrages]

OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU KILLED ME.
YOU FUCKING MURDERED ME ON ACCIDENT.
NOT EVEN PURPOSEFULLY!??!
NOT EVEN THE DIGNITY OF A PURPOSEFUL MURDERING?!??!!!
THAT IS SO FUCKING ILLEGIT I CAN'T EVEN DEAL.

[drama8om8]

So you're not mad at ME, right? For accidental past life murder? 8ecause imo that doesn't even COUNT 8ro it 8n't even a thing.

[enrages]

I'M UPSET.
NOT MAD.
EMOTIONALLY UNHINGED AND UPSET.

[drama8om8]

And that's Karsonese for "we are totally still friends 8ecause I know you 8n't the Marquise and any murderings are a8solutely not in any way the responsi8ility of present you," right?

[enrages]

IT'S KARSONESE FOR I FEEL LIKE CRYING.

[drama8om8]

And we're still friends! You feel like crying and we're still 8uddies say it SAY IT LET'S GO FUCKING SAY IT.

[enrages]

OKAY, FINE.
EVEN IF YOU MURDERED ME, WE'RE STILL FRIENDS.
FINE.
URGH.

[drama8om8]

Yessssssss! <33333333
You are the 8EST soul8ondleader. And the 8est judge of how 8est to deal with these situ8tions in the 8est way!
YOU WIN THE LEADER COMPETITION YOU GET A TROPHY CONGRATUL8TIONS KARSON!!!!!!!!

[enrages]

I'LL ACCEPT A FREE MEAL AT IHOP AS MY REWARD.

[drama8om8]

Done. Pancaketrophy.