five; text

[enrages]

hey, so the mine trip was a bust.
some chick hacked some emails and shit, and basically found some conversations that said the Sage of Earth of whatever was a total hoax, but that Thunder corp was specifically searching for something called "Target 1" underground.
considering how dumb it would be to just start digging tunnels and drilling everywhere, we assumed they'd be using the mines to search.

well, we were wrong. (big surprise)

i don't know if anyone ever really officially reported their findings or whatever.
basically, there were those weird blackfuzzy hairy things and it legit looked like they were on drugs.
that was about all we found, because everyone getting those weirdass pulses.
i sure do love when all our leads run dry!!!!!!!
^^^^sarcasm^^^^^



as for happy funtime karson updates, i finally passed out after staying awake for an entire goddamn month.
and completely hypothetically speaking and not linked to finally sleeping or any pulses i may or may not have had,
i have a question.
uh

does

anyone remember dying?
like, legit dying, you are dead and gone and there's no way you're coming back through magical superpowers and it's probably your fault that you died?


EDIT: according to people who can't be classified as legally insane because of lack of sleep, there was a buzzing sound in the mines.

Comments

[enrages]

ARE YOU REACHING BUT YOU FALL?
HOW ARE THE STARS?
HAVE YOU CHECKED THEM?
ARE THEY DARK AND COLD?

[hawaiianheir]

CHECKED THE STARS
DARK AND COLD AS FUCK
ALSO I'M PRETTY SURE THE WORLD IS NOT BEING HELD IN ANY CAPACITY
SO THERE'S THAT
ESCAPE OPTIONS SEEM PLENTIFUL AT THIS JUNCTURE

[enrages]

WHAT KIND OF WORLD ARE YOU ESCAPING FROM!?!?!
WHAT KIND OF WORLD IS IT?

1/3

[hawaiianheir]

WHAT KIND OF WORLD?
WHAT DO YOU EXPECT
THE WORLD OF SHITTY SOULBO

2/3

[hawaiianheir]

[WHOOPS PULSES ARE HAPPENING BRB]

asdf3qrqrgwerg349twerwergtw5ttq23wawatttttttttttttttttt

3/3

[hawaiianheir]

[AND THEN THAT'S ALL YOU GET OUT OF HIM FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES BEFORE HE COMES BACK]

okay so
status update
did NOT drown myself as was expected
pulses finally kicked in
first, and most importantly
i am NOT Dualscar, holy fucking shit am i glad for that
second of all
i can confirm the "karkat" bit taffy was yammering on about
karson you were a total jerk fyi
like hilarious, but a jerk

[drama8om8]

W8 what?
You WEREN'T Dualscar?
8 T8LD Y8U A8OUT THE 8OINKINGS FOR N8THING????????

[hawaiianheir]

LET US NOT REVISIT THE BOINKINGS LEST WE BE DOOMED TO REPEAT THEM
but like no seriously all i know is that my name wasn't dualscar in a past life
it was john
john egbert.

1/2

[drama8om8]

Haha, JOHN EG8ERT?
EG8ERT????????
What a nerdy-sounding dum8 loser name ff888888888888888888888888888888888888

[ Oh look it seems to be echo o'clock around here wow gosh ]

2/2

[drama8om8]

[ after 8 minutes exactly to the second ]

MARQUISE SPINNERET MINDFANG.

Re: 2/2

[hawaiianheir]

oh shit
did you get pulsed too by that?
crazy shit.
so like. we all know each other's past-life names i guess?
i mean that's your name, right
it sounds like a crazy ass name

[drama8om8]

It sounds like a 8ADASS name, Mac.
Hahahahahahahaha, were you really John? The John I remem8er was the HUGEST NERD!
Oh my god what a fucking chump. I get a cool fairy pir8 and you get a DORK! >8D

[hawaiianheir]

okay no hey
i was smacking imps around left and right with like hammers and shit
i know this much
and i got taken down by like a fucking METEOR which is badass
there is no way i could be that much of a dork, taffyfang!

[drama8om8]

I greeted you with 8 sets of 8 "o"s in "John" and you legitim8tely said "you typed my name in 64 8it."

Like that's actually a thing that you did.

NEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!

[hawaiianheir]

well
maybe he just
has i dunno
an appreciation for coding parameters

[oh god he was a total nerd in a past life and now tavia knows

love is over]

[drama8om8]

He was wearing a little green la8coat, Macaroni.

[ NERDING INTENSIFIES ]

[enrages]

honestly, who the hell is surprised by the fact that i was a jerk.
i'm always a jerk.
every iteration of me is a jerk until the end of time.

[hawaiianheir]

i think you were still totally convinced you were jesus, too
like you went on and on about how you were my god or something
and i seriously just piped in with "hey karkat!"
and then there's some weird shit i can hardly parse without trying to figure it out.
we were discussing a plan of some sort, so maybe you were still the shitty soulbond leader
but definitely still a shouty asshole

[enrages]

wait
wat waitwaiwatiwaitawit
i'm legit jesus?
some kinda leader jesus?!?!!
HOLY FUCKING SHIT YES YES YESHESYEYYYES!!!!

[hawaiianheir]

YOU LEGITIMATELY OPENED UP OUR CONVERSATION WITH "THIS IS YOUR GOD SPEAKING"
like except in shoutydouche gray text
and i knew you as karkat and like
i guess we were friends?
there is a lot of weird shit i am remembering and i have no idea how to take it

[enrages]

WHAT WEIRD SHIT?

[hawaiianheir]

uh
i




i think you were
hitting on me

[enrages]

WHAT.

[hawaiianheir]

YOU TALKED ABOUT HOW YOU THOUGHT WE WERE CONNECTED 'COSMICALLY' AND ABOUT BRAZEN SOLICITATIONS
and like
i apparently had to tell you i was not a homoseuxal?
like that is a legitimate line that i uttered!
like you were trying to woo me with some sort of angry seductions!

[enrages]

STOPSTOPSOTPSOTPOSPTOSPT SOTPSTOP STOPSTOP STOPSTOPSTOPSTOSPTOS PTOSPT OSTOPSTOPSTOSPTOSTPOSTPOSTPOST STPOSTPOSTPOSTPOSTPOSPTOPSTO PLEAS STOPOP NONOE I DONT WANT TO KNOW I DONT EANTTNOOO