savetheearth | five; text

five; text

hey, so the mine trip was a bust.
some chick hacked some emails and shit, and basically found some conversations that said the Sage of Earth of whatever was a total hoax, but that Thunder corp was specifically searching for something called "Target 1" underground.
considering how dumb it would be to just start digging tunnels and drilling everywhere, we assumed they'd be using the mines to search.

well, we were wrong. (big surprise)

i don't know if anyone ever really officially reported their findings or whatever.
basically, there were those weird blackfuzzy hairy things and it legit looked like they were on drugs.
that was about all we found, because everyone getting those weirdass pulses.
i sure do love when all our leads run dry!!!!!!!
^^^^sarcasm^^^^^

as for happy funtime karson updates, i finally passed out after staying awake for an entire goddamn month.
and completely hypothetically speaking and not linked to finally sleeping or any pulses i may or may not have had,
i have a question.
uh

does

anyone remember dying?
like, legit dying, you are dead and gone and there's no way you're coming back through magical superpowers and it's probably your fault that you died?

EDIT: according to people who can't be classified as legally insane because of lack of sleep, there was a buzzing sound in the mines.

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there was also a weird buzzing sound.

also i remember dying.

(why didn't you use ~*~*~*~*sarcasm~*~*~*~*~ this time)

after not sleeping past the 12 day mark, there is always a buzzing sound.

also dying
didn't you say you were some kinda magical girl robot or something?
how does that die?
(because im not in the mood for tildes, no matter how sarcastic they might be)

Edited 2013-09-08 07:03 (UTC)

i've had a normal sleep schedule for the past 12 days, there was a buzzing sound.

well exploding is a pretty final thing
i remember exploding :o
i think i traumatized someone when i did it too
which i feel a little bad about
i mean
i assume i probably did

did you remember dying karson?

i think i kinda was a magical girl robot for real though
like without joking about it
( :( sorry)

Edited 2013-09-08 07:05 (UTC)

i remember being exploded, and i wasn't a magical girl robot.
did you explode me?

I already told people I was on fire while singing a song. I'm pretty sure that I was dying.

that's
pretty fucked up, jesus christ.

...Did you remember dying? As in, you were around afterwards to remember dying?

...does this mean you actually are immortal?

no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but remembering that sort of thing isn't really fun is it
i mean being exploded
i was okay with it i think but yeah
if you need to talk to someone when you can't sleep you can text me whenever
well
most times since you are apparently always unable to sleep
(still?)

i think it would be more accurate to say psychic robot at this point btw

Yeah, I'd thought it was nothing more than a weird dream but then the numbers I had in my head connected to this. Go figure.

okay, we're
uh
going to keep you away from fire from now on.
fire and singing.
no more of that shit.

THIS IS A HYPOTHETICAL
HYPO
GODDAMNFUCKING
THETICAL
CAN'T YOU FUCKING READ OR ARE YOU TOO BUSY WALLOWING IN OUR SOULBONDED CONNECTEDNESS TO REALIZE THAT YOU CAN'T ACTUALLY READ MY MIND AND THAT YOU CAN'T ACTUALLY SEE THE SHIT I'M THINKING OF.

you can't, right?
read my mind?
if you can, stop fucking doing that.
right now.

What if I say no and keep on smoking and singing? What then?

that sure doe2 sound hypothetical two me and not at all liike youre talking about your2elf.
youre very conviincing.

psychic robot and shittyass insomniac bonding over exploding.
if that doesn't sound like the worst goddamn sitcom ever, i give up on TV.
it's the type of show someone would watch the first episode for, only because it sounds so goddamn ridiculous, and after about ten minutes of it, they throw their fucking TV out the window in utter disgust that this sort of garbage was written by actual writers and was acted out by actual actors.

(i slept for a day after the mines, and haven't slept since kill me
worst superhero power ever)

you're seriously going to question the validity of the hypotheticalness of my questions?
seriously?
like, i was in a fucking mine.
i was in a mine with a bunch of people who are connected through bullshit memories and a network they can access anywhere and everywhere through numbers.
if you asked me six months ago if i would ever be in that situation ever, i would laugh and then report your ass to chris hansen as a child predator with a serious mental illness.
chris hansen would show you no mercy.

if you're going to sit around questioning the shit i'm saying, focus on the ridiculous stuff-- like everything i just described.
hypothetically remembering my own death in conjunction with my belief that i am LITERALLY THE REINCARNATION OF JESUS CHRIST OUR LORD AND SAVIOR is the most believable thing i've experienced.
hypothetically experienced.

wow this rant is getting away from me what am i even typing anymore.
fuck you.
fuck me.
goddamnit.
shut up.

i can actually do tricks now
ish
y
and that metaphor (is that a metaphor i'm not sure) sounds pretty accurate
and gets worse if you add in whatever everyone else remembers
i can't make heads or tails of a lot of it

although you know
i guess we really do have shitty writers in our midst?
not our midst but
the seven sages thing
or whatever
like
really

(i'm still not allowed to kill you remember)
(and yeah that is pretty bad)

i will accept no responsibility for your death.
don't try to sue me.
don't even try it.

lmao. ii dont even know what mine youre talking about two tell the truth 2o why would i care about that?
and iif you even triied two call me a child predator that would be pretty crazy siince if ii had two guess im not even older than you. 2o unless chris hansen is a child molester himself ii think im 2afe there but thanks for lookiing out for me lol.

and wow wtf why would you even thiink youre jesus like wow.
that is some seriou2 delusion there you really should get that checked out. like riight now.

yeah, can we just talk about how crappy that sage speech shit was?

because the only reason i was believing it was 1) it was so goddawful, like legit someone couldn't have written that and been like "wow this is a super good idea im being so clever!!!", and 2) how the fuck did they get that guy to go along with it? do they have mind control powers along with terrible, shitty writers???

it's good to know that our enemies can't tell a story and have the writing capabilities of a dead cow??

i thought the mind control thing was a legit thing
like the statues or whatever

but uh yeah i have to say i do not feel that was a move of an enemy taking someone seriously

or if they thought it was taking us seriously i seriously question their writing capabilities yes
i guess if we ever have to challenge them to a duel of the pens we know we'll win hands down

go team us

im immortal, asshole.
i am legit immortal.
as in i cannot die.
as in you're supposed to die after 14 days of no sleep.
as in you're supposed to die after chugging 12 bottles of nyquil in a single sitting and downing 10 boxes of benadryl.
as in i am the lord and savior of humanity, which is actually the only way i can explain away my obsessive responsibility complex.

i feel like i should just call chris hansen anyways.
you've got 40 year old neckbeard written all over you.

we should write a better speech and send it to them.
it'll scare them off.
put them in their place.

ii dont thiink thats you being immortal that is you haviing some kind of problem.
2eek help.

lol. go ahead and try. iim p sure nothing is going two come from that though.

clearly the best plan of attack any of us have had yet
should we crib from rpgs as heavily as they obviously did or go all original

no.
we need to show them up in every way we possibly can.
we are tolkiening this shit.
all original.
all creativity.
take that, you corporate bastards.
you won't know what hit you.

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