savetheearth | [Mission 1 - Written neatly in the dirt. No, really.]

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[Mission 1 - Written neatly in the dirt. No, really.]

Well isn't this a surprise? You know, taking hallucinogens wasn't on my to-do list for the near future, but I guess everyone makes mistakes every now and then. I've learned a valuable lesson today: when someone hands you some funky hippy water full of leaves that they insist is good for you, don't drink it. So, since I'm suddenly the Dirt Whisperer, how about you regale me with your earthy wisdom while I sit in the park and enjoy the trip? Let's kill some time before this wears off and I end up with the nastiest hangover I've ever had. Here, I'll start with some easy questions: Why is the sky blue? What's the meaning of life? What language does Mister Mumbles speak when he yells at people walking by? And most importantly, what the hell is going on?

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Are you kidding? It'd be great, but I imagine there'd be a lot of subliminal Dorito ads thrown in. Shit, that's it, that's me. I'm the cheerleader. I bet I could pull off the miniskirt. ...Oh. Funny how you described that so well.

Doritos are people! Repent, repent! Something like that?

We could form a squad. I know I've got killer legs for a miniskirt.

I've had a few and sometimes it can be a pain trying to be normal while it felt like the world has gotten weirder.

I was thinking more along the lines of 'Doritos save lives! Eat more Doritos', you know, typical subliminal ad placement. Well hell, that's an idea. Let the magical fairies take care of the battle itself we'll just be the cheer-leading squad, it'll be great! Guess I know I have more of that to look forward to, huh?

Nah, people might actually just eat them to be stupid and say that they are eating people.

Not only that, we'll get a better soundtrack too!

Yeah. In my experience, anything can set the pulses off.

Like that's anything new. And better outfits! What a pain. Alright, so... From reading the FAQ I'm getting the idea that these pulses or whatever are from like some kind of past life? Are you fucking serious?

Well you know what they say - SPS is alive and well.

And the best dressing rooms ever!

Yah, although some of us also think that they can be echoes from alternate realities pushing into the world we're in right now. It could be either one, since some of us have memories that come from a future time line, while others remember centuries in the past. It's... well, random is the best way to say it even if it's too small of a word.

SPS? If we get famous enough do we get our own mobile dressing room? As soon as things start making a little sense they immediately stop. So, alternate reality-lives, past-lives, whatever, we're assuming this is shit that 'happened' to you in some kind of way at some point in... You know what I give up. Too complicated for me.

Stupid People Syndrome.

With enough drinks for all.

The visions are like dreams or memories and the stuff we get back are like they're made for us. It's weird but you get use to it.

Oh yeah, but you're gonna find that anywhere I'm afraid. Excellent, sign me up. Made for us? This is all really goddamn cryptic and confusing as hell, man.

There is truth in those words.

Sure thing. Do you want pompoms or twirling stick thingy?

Not really. I mean, the two coats that I've managed to pulse back fit me perfectly and know people who've gotten hats and scarves and coats of strange cuts and that sort of thing. It's weird.

Hook me up with the twirling stick thing, that sounds like fun. Wait, so this echo shit gives you back more than just memories and weird powers? You get your own personalized wardrobe, too? Shit, we really are a bunch of weird ass superheroes.

Plus you can hit people with it.

Pretty much. I know a guy who got back a super hero outfit with a giant A on the belt and the body to go with it. He's the one that yells outrageous a lot.

See? Perfect for when they try to make fun of my skirt. Oh hey! I was talkin' to him. Aquaman or something, yeah? Seems like an okay guy.

They're only jealous that they don't have the balls to wear one.

He is a pretty nice guy. A bit weird about fish but he's really nice.

That's it exactly! Yeah he mentioned he talks too fish, but he seems pretty cool. So far most of the people here do, really.

Most people don't. It just makes me cry no one can understand it.

Most of us are. There might be a couple I'm leery about but most people are the good sort.

It's really quite sad, but don't worry pal I understand. Oh? Anyone I should keep an eye out for?

Good. I hate being the only one.

I think you'll see them soon enough. There's one that likes posting rude stuff like this is some kind of 4chan chat site.

I don't get to use the 'net much, 4chan? What's that? And what's it got to do with rude idiots? [Poor Tony. It has everything to do with rude idiots.]

Think 'creepy porn lovers' and add in 'weird sexual kinks' and times 'hur hur hur' and you might have a little idea what I mean.

[and he might not even be exaggerating here.]

Wow that sounds... great. Uh, how often do they do that now?

[Well he has read a few youtube comments so he's not completely skeptical about it being that bad.]

A couple times a month. It's easy to miss them usually.

Well that's not so bad. Sounds annoying, but nothing to get all worked up over.

It gets annoying when he acts like a idiot about some things.

'He?'

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