savetheearth | [Mission 1 - Written neatly in the dirt. No, really.]

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[Mission 1 - Written neatly in the dirt. No, really.]

Well isn't this a surprise? You know, taking hallucinogens wasn't on my to-do list for the near future, but I guess everyone makes mistakes every now and then. I've learned a valuable lesson today: when someone hands you some funky hippy water full of leaves that they insist is good for you, don't drink it. So, since I'm suddenly the Dirt Whisperer, how about you regale me with your earthy wisdom while I sit in the park and enjoy the trip? Let's kill some time before this wears off and I end up with the nastiest hangover I've ever had. Here, I'll start with some easy questions: Why is the sky blue? What's the meaning of life? What language does Mister Mumbles speak when he yells at people walking by? And most importantly, what the hell is going on?

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They're only jealous that they don't have the balls to wear one.

He is a pretty nice guy. A bit weird about fish but he's really nice.

That's it exactly! Yeah he mentioned he talks too fish, but he seems pretty cool. So far most of the people here do, really.

Most people don't. It just makes me cry no one can understand it.

Most of us are. There might be a couple I'm leery about but most people are the good sort.

It's really quite sad, but don't worry pal I understand. Oh? Anyone I should keep an eye out for?

Good. I hate being the only one.

I think you'll see them soon enough. There's one that likes posting rude stuff like this is some kind of 4chan chat site.

I don't get to use the 'net much, 4chan? What's that? And what's it got to do with rude idiots? [Poor Tony. It has everything to do with rude idiots.]

Think 'creepy porn lovers' and add in 'weird sexual kinks' and times 'hur hur hur' and you might have a little idea what I mean.

[and he might not even be exaggerating here.]

Wow that sounds... great. Uh, how often do they do that now?

[Well he has read a few youtube comments so he's not completely skeptical about it being that bad.]

A couple times a month. It's easy to miss them usually.

Well that's not so bad. Sounds annoying, but nothing to get all worked up over.

It gets annoying when he acts like a idiot about some things.

'He?'

It's a guy. Last time we were arguing, he was going on about the right to have a boner.

Wow. He sounds, uh, special.

Yah, only not that special. It's like running headlong into 4chan without realizing it.

You mentioned that. I still don't know what 4chan is, but I think I'll be avoiding it after this.

I'd only suggest to go there if you're into over-sized breasts on anthro-dick-girls porn. Otherwise, just stick to the usual places for porn.

So it's just for wacky, ridiculous porn, huh? Sounds lame.

With overly weird commentary and bad seventies disco porn music set to computer beeps.

What.

[He needs a moment to attempt to process what was just said, please stand by.]

How does that even exist?

Don't ask me; I've been there once, saw the fanart of one of those dolphin friends as a dick-girl and ran outta there as fast as I can.

[the scarring man. THE SCARRING.]

[Good lord.]

Why the hell would you do that to a dolphin friend?

I don't know! I wanna cry just thinking about it. Dolphin Friends are like cute and sweet and don't deserve that at all.

I can't even imagine it, don't think I want to. Seriously man, is that what people do on the internet?

Some people. Others use it for all sorts of things like writing stuff together or playing games or looking on information about their favorite actors or music or all kinds of stuff.

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