savetheearth | [Mission 1 - Written neatly in the dirt. No, really.]

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[Mission 1 - Written neatly in the dirt. No, really.]

Well isn't this a surprise? You know, taking hallucinogens wasn't on my to-do list for the near future, but I guess everyone makes mistakes every now and then. I've learned a valuable lesson today: when someone hands you some funky hippy water full of leaves that they insist is good for you, don't drink it. So, since I'm suddenly the Dirt Whisperer, how about you regale me with your earthy wisdom while I sit in the park and enjoy the trip? Let's kill some time before this wears off and I end up with the nastiest hangover I've ever had. Here, I'll start with some easy questions: Why is the sky blue? What's the meaning of life? What language does Mister Mumbles speak when he yells at people walking by? And most importantly, what the hell is going on?

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There is truth in those words.

Sure thing. Do you want pompoms or twirling stick thingy?

Not really. I mean, the two coats that I've managed to pulse back fit me perfectly and know people who've gotten hats and scarves and coats of strange cuts and that sort of thing. It's weird.

Hook me up with the twirling stick thing, that sounds like fun. Wait, so this echo shit gives you back more than just memories and weird powers? You get your own personalized wardrobe, too? Shit, we really are a bunch of weird ass superheroes.

Plus you can hit people with it.

Pretty much. I know a guy who got back a super hero outfit with a giant A on the belt and the body to go with it. He's the one that yells outrageous a lot.

See? Perfect for when they try to make fun of my skirt. Oh hey! I was talkin' to him. Aquaman or something, yeah? Seems like an okay guy.

They're only jealous that they don't have the balls to wear one.

He is a pretty nice guy. A bit weird about fish but he's really nice.

That's it exactly! Yeah he mentioned he talks too fish, but he seems pretty cool. So far most of the people here do, really.

Most people don't. It just makes me cry no one can understand it.

Most of us are. There might be a couple I'm leery about but most people are the good sort.

It's really quite sad, but don't worry pal I understand. Oh? Anyone I should keep an eye out for?

Good. I hate being the only one.

I think you'll see them soon enough. There's one that likes posting rude stuff like this is some kind of 4chan chat site.

I don't get to use the 'net much, 4chan? What's that? And what's it got to do with rude idiots? [Poor Tony. It has everything to do with rude idiots.]

Think 'creepy porn lovers' and add in 'weird sexual kinks' and times 'hur hur hur' and you might have a little idea what I mean.

[and he might not even be exaggerating here.]

Wow that sounds... great. Uh, how often do they do that now?

[Well he has read a few youtube comments so he's not completely skeptical about it being that bad.]

A couple times a month. It's easy to miss them usually.

Well that's not so bad. Sounds annoying, but nothing to get all worked up over.

It gets annoying when he acts like a idiot about some things.

'He?'

It's a guy. Last time we were arguing, he was going on about the right to have a boner.

Wow. He sounds, uh, special.

Yah, only not that special. It's like running headlong into 4chan without realizing it.

You mentioned that. I still don't know what 4chan is, but I think I'll be avoiding it after this.

I'd only suggest to go there if you're into over-sized breasts on anthro-dick-girls porn. Otherwise, just stick to the usual places for porn.

So it's just for wacky, ridiculous porn, huh? Sounds lame.

With overly weird commentary and bad seventies disco porn music set to computer beeps.

What.

[He needs a moment to attempt to process what was just said, please stand by.]

How does that even exist?

Don't ask me; I've been there once, saw the fanart of one of those dolphin friends as a dick-girl and ran outta there as fast as I can.

[the scarring man. THE SCARRING.]

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