ZIM || Ray Zimmerman the STE flavored AU (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
synonymouswithdookie) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
savetheearth2013-11-24 04:23 pm
synonymouswithdookie) wrote in savetheearth2013-11-24 04:23 pm
Entry tags:
- !open,
- #network,
- attack on titan: eren yeager,
- baccano!: isaac and miria,
- bleach: hollow ichigo,
- brave police j-decker: shadowmaru,
- death note: l lawliet,
- grimm: nick burkhardt,
- homestuck: aradia megido,
- homestuck: sollux captor,
- homestuck: vriska serket,
- invader zim: zim,
- original: sandrath,
- original: umbrael,
- portal: wheatley,
- princess tutu: mytho,
- shadow of the colossus: wander,
- supernatural: castiel,
- tales of symphonia: zelos wilder,
- tiger and bunny: kotetsu t. kaburagi,
- transformers live action: ironhide
[text]
HEY so some of you probably don't remember me which is GREAT because I kind of ignore most of you assholes anyway. I don't know if this is like common knowledge yet since LIKE I SAID I basically try to ignore you for the most part and pretend that none of this shit EXISTS, but I guess the police have magic dogs that can pick us out from people who aren't walking freak shows? WHICH IS AWESOME, RIGHT? I bet it was all over the network at some point, but I'm 100% a giant moron and pretty much never look, so long story short A MAGIC DOG GOT ME and some shitty dickhead cop motherfucker with an ugly face and a big butt arrested me. Did I mention he's an asshole because he is absolutely the biggest asshole fuck him.
Good news is I'm not in jail anymore, hooray for me, right? "BUT RAY HOW DID YOU GET OUT OF JAIL WHEN THEY KNOW YOU'RE ONE OF US :( ?" you may be wondering. Or maybe you don't give a fuck. Well listen up motherfuckers because you're ABOUT to give SUCH a fuck.
I may or may not have completely agreed to act as an informant for the people that want us dead soooooooo that's a thing that's happening now. Detective Slenderman or whatever wants NAMES and I don't want to be DEAD so he's getting his goddamn names.
Now don't worry, I'm not a complete asshole. I'm not going to charge right up to the fucker and sell all of you out, but I can only give the guy fake names and bullshit for so long before he starts catching on and sends the murder patrol to my front door. SO HERE'S HOW THIS IS GOING TO WORK (it probably won't work but I like to pretend to be optimistic): I need volunteers. I need actual REAL LEGIT NAMES to give this dude. Yes that would make life harder for you and YES it would be a giant pain in the ass but maybe we can think of a way to make this work to our advantage somehow? OR you can all just tell me to fuck off and worst case scenario only I have to become dead because I'd rather do that than get anyone else killed. Still though I'd prefer to be ALIVE.
PS: As a general rule, if you're not old enough to drink you're not old enough to volunteer for something this goddamn stupid so you dumbass teenagers can just fuck right off. At the very least nobody's going to be able to accuse me of getting kids mixed up in this.
PPS: I KNOW, I'M A MORON, I GET IT, I'M SORRY, ETC. SHIT HAPPENS, DEAL WITH IT.
Good news is I'm not in jail anymore, hooray for me, right? "BUT RAY HOW DID YOU GET OUT OF JAIL WHEN THEY KNOW YOU'RE ONE OF US :( ?" you may be wondering. Or maybe you don't give a fuck. Well listen up motherfuckers because you're ABOUT to give SUCH a fuck.
I may or may not have completely agreed to act as an informant for the people that want us dead soooooooo that's a thing that's happening now. Detective Slenderman or whatever wants NAMES and I don't want to be DEAD so he's getting his goddamn names.
Now don't worry, I'm not a complete asshole. I'm not going to charge right up to the fucker and sell all of you out, but I can only give the guy fake names and bullshit for so long before he starts catching on and sends the murder patrol to my front door. SO HERE'S HOW THIS IS GOING TO WORK (it probably won't work but I like to pretend to be optimistic): I need volunteers. I need actual REAL LEGIT NAMES to give this dude. Yes that would make life harder for you and YES it would be a giant pain in the ass but maybe we can think of a way to make this work to our advantage somehow? OR you can all just tell me to fuck off and worst case scenario only I have to become dead because I'd rather do that than get anyone else killed. Still though I'd prefer to be ALIVE.
PS: As a general rule, if you're not old enough to drink you're not old enough to volunteer for something this goddamn stupid so you dumbass teenagers can just fuck right off. At the very least nobody's going to be able to accuse me of getting kids mixed up in this.
PPS: I KNOW, I'M A MORON, I GET IT, I'M SORRY, ETC. SHIT HAPPENS, DEAL WITH IT.
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you jerk
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KNOW
IT'S THE SECOND STUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER DONE IN MY LIFE
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Me and Alan didn't fucking cave to his 8ULLSHIT DEM8NDS like ST8PID 8A8Y WEAKY-WE8K WEAKLINGS. 8ut you DID????????
GR8 FUCKING JO8 THERE, CH8MP. WOW! HELLA GR8.
And your first instinct is to ask for people to sell themselves out instead of, I don't know. G8ING INTO HIDING L8KE SOME PE8PLE AR8UND HERE?
No8ody I like 8etter volunteer for your COWARDLY FUCKING WEAKSAUCE 8ETRAYAL SCHEME or I will F8CK YOU UP.
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oh hey wait, weren't you one of those dipshits that went and got captured and then needed their buddies to break them out? guess who didn't have access to buddies, kid. Or fancy powers, for that matter. It's not like I could have just hulked out and snapped the guy in half.
You know what I could have done? I could have said "fuck it" to every single one of you and just gave the bastard everything he wanted right up front. That would have been a lot easier. But no, I decided it would be better to work with what I have. So that's what I'm doing.
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see there's this magical thing called "lying" that I'm sure you big badass hero kid types may have heard of. but no go ahead and make assumptions you obviously know how the world works way better than i do, being what, thirteen and all
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[handwritten; private]
If you get any volunteers, let me know? I can try to be the one to arrest them so I can be there, just in case.
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so far most people think i'm the scum of the Earth but if anyone DOES volunteer then yes I will absolutely let you know first because this is half your fault anyway
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handwitten
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[Handwritten]
Need some snacks or something?
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i'm in shock
[yeah he feels bad can you tell]
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[NICK HE SWEARS TO GOD, IF THIS WAS YOU. HE WILL KICK YOUR ASS. Fuckfuckfuck. Fuck.]
could you use some kind of really common name. like john smith or something. there are a million john smiths.
or maybe people who you know arent in on this and then when they find out nothing's special about them you could say that some of us randomly go normal sometimes. its happened to me before
[handwritten] - threadjack i'm sorry
Maybe even name people who used to be involved but are confirmed to have gone back to normal.
[...yes Nick's a jerk shut up.]
[handwritten] NIIIIICK (fuu)
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we have a safe hou2e.
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[text; private]
Did he say what he would do with the names? Anything at all? Or did he just threaten you?
Honestly, with things getting worse, this might be our only shot at some real answers, even if it is dangerous. We're all already in danger, in a way. I think we should definitely take a few days to find some more level heads that are willing to discuss a plan, though. It doesn't even need to be that one.
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See I like you already, you can see where I'm coming from here.
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You've... made quite a stir, I see.
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[SARCASM ALL OVER THE PLACE]
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Wait until December 2nd, but you can give him my name.
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What was your name again? Zelda something? You got some kinda game plan? I can definitely wait, and I have a guy on the inside that can help us out.
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ok so I won't ask about what happens to the people you name because the implication seems to be 'the same as what happened to you but probably worse'
But did you at least pick up anything useful when they were grilling you?
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he's a prick btw
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plus i'm a stubborn idiot
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