synonymouswithdookie: (Z?)
ZIM || Ray Zimmerman the STE flavored AU ([personal profile] synonymouswithdookie) wrote in [community profile] savetheearth2013-11-24 04:23 pm

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HEY so some of you probably don't remember me which is GREAT because I kind of ignore most of you assholes anyway. I don't know if this is like common knowledge yet since LIKE I SAID I basically try to ignore you for the most part and pretend that none of this shit EXISTS, but I guess the police have magic dogs that can pick us out from people who aren't walking freak shows? WHICH IS AWESOME, RIGHT? I bet it was all over the network at some point, but I'm 100% a giant moron and pretty much never look, so long story short A MAGIC DOG GOT ME and some shitty dickhead cop motherfucker with an ugly face and a big butt arrested me. Did I mention he's an asshole because he is absolutely the biggest asshole fuck him.

Good news is I'm not in jail anymore, hooray for me, right? "BUT RAY HOW DID YOU GET OUT OF JAIL WHEN THEY KNOW YOU'RE ONE OF US :( ?" you may be wondering. Or maybe you don't give a fuck. Well listen up motherfuckers because you're ABOUT to give SUCH a fuck.

I may or may not have completely agreed to act as an informant for the people that want us dead soooooooo that's a thing that's happening now. Detective Slenderman or whatever wants NAMES and I don't want to be DEAD so he's getting his goddamn names.

Now don't worry, I'm not a complete asshole. I'm not going to charge right up to the fucker and sell all of you out, but I can only give the guy fake names and bullshit for so long before he starts catching on and sends the murder patrol to my front door. SO HERE'S HOW THIS IS GOING TO WORK (it probably won't work but I like to pretend to be optimistic): I need volunteers. I need actual REAL LEGIT NAMES to give this dude. Yes that would make life harder for you and YES it would be a giant pain in the ass but maybe we can think of a way to make this work to our advantage somehow? OR you can all just tell me to fuck off and worst case scenario only I have to become dead because I'd rather do that than get anyone else killed. Still though I'd prefer to be ALIVE.

PS: As a general rule, if you're not old enough to drink you're not old enough to volunteer for something this goddamn stupid so you dumbass teenagers can just fuck right off. At the very least nobody's going to be able to accuse me of getting kids mixed up in this.

PPS: I KNOW, I'M A MORON, I GET IT, I'M SORRY, ETC. SHIT HAPPENS, DEAL WITH IT.
earnedmystripes: (pic#1165095)

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[personal profile] earnedmystripes 2013-11-25 04:19 am (UTC)(link)
why?

[THIS IS SERIOUSLY A LEGIT QUESTION.]
earnedmystripes: (pic#1178754)

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[personal profile] earnedmystripes 2013-12-11 11:09 pm (UTC)(link)
[Well, that's. Definitely not what he expected. And even though he thinks it's a terrible idea--he can respect Ray's courage, trying to make the best of a bad situation.]

it's a dangerous game to be playing, but i'm sure you realize that

good luck.
earnedmystripes: (pic#1182647)

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[personal profile] earnedmystripes 2013-12-11 11:09 pm (UTC)(link)
...seriously though what the hell is a yolo
Edited 2013-12-11 23:10 (UTC)