savetheearth | [text]

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HEY so some of you probably don't remember me which is GREAT because I kind of ignore most of you assholes anyway. I don't know if this is like common knowledge yet since LIKE I SAID I basically try to ignore you for the most part and pretend that none of this shit EXISTS, but I guess the police have magic dogs that can pick us out from people who aren't walking freak shows? WHICH IS AWESOME, RIGHT? I bet it was all over the network at some point, but I'm 100% a giant moron and pretty much never look, so long story short A MAGIC DOG GOT ME and some shitty dickhead cop motherfucker with an ugly face and a big butt arrested me. Did I mention he's an asshole because he is absolutely the biggest asshole fuck him.

Good news is I'm not in jail anymore, hooray for me, right? "BUT RAY HOW DID YOU GET OUT OF JAIL WHEN THEY KNOW YOU'RE ONE OF US :( ?" you may be wondering. Or maybe you don't give a fuck. Well listen up motherfuckers because you're ABOUT to give SUCH a fuck.

I may or may not have completely agreed to act as an informant for the people that want us dead soooooooo that's a thing that's happening now. Detective Slenderman or whatever wants NAMES and I don't want to be DEAD so he's getting his goddamn names.

Now don't worry, I'm not a complete asshole. I'm not going to charge right up to the fucker and sell all of you out, but I can only give the guy fake names and bullshit for so long before he starts catching on and sends the murder patrol to my front door. SO HERE'S HOW THIS IS GOING TO WORK (it probably won't work but I like to pretend to be optimistic): I need volunteers. I need actual REAL LEGIT NAMES to give this dude. Yes that would make life harder for you and YES it would be a giant pain in the ass but maybe we can think of a way to make this work to our advantage somehow? OR you can all just tell me to fuck off and worst case scenario only I have to become dead because I'd rather do that than get anyone else killed. Still though I'd prefer to be ALIVE.

PS: As a general rule, if you're not old enough to drink you're not old enough to volunteer for something this goddamn stupid so you dumbass teenagers can just fuck right off. At the very least nobody's going to be able to accuse me of getting kids mixed up in this.

PPS: I KNOW, I'M A MORON, I GET IT, I'M SORRY, ETC. SHIT HAPPENS, DEAL WITH IT.

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COW8RD!!!!!!!!
Me and Alan didn't fucking cave to his 8ULLSHIT DEM8NDS like ST8PID 8A8Y WEAKY-WE8K WEAKLINGS. 8ut you DID????????
GR8 FUCKING JO8 THERE, CH8MP. WOW! HELLA GR8.
And your first instinct is to ask for people to sell themselves out instead of, I don't know. G8ING INTO HIDING L8KE SOME PE8PLE AR8UND HERE?
No8ody I like 8etter volunteer for your COWARDLY FUCKING WEAKSAUCE 8ETRAYAL SCHEME or I will F8CK YOU UP.

Well to be honest my first instinct was a lot more dramatic and quite a bit messier but we won't go into that.

oh hey wait, weren't you one of those dipshits that went and got captured and then needed their buddies to break them out? guess who didn't have access to buddies, kid. Or fancy powers, for that matter. It's not like I could have just hulked out and snapped the guy in half.

You know what I could have done? I could have said "fuck it" to every single one of you and just gave the bastard everything he wanted right up front. That would have been a lot easier. But no, I decided it would be better to work with what I have. So that's what I'm doing.

Hey wow guess what I'd have done if I didn't have mindjacking powers to help communic8 with my "8uddies" and get me out?
I WOULD H8VE 8ITTEN MY F8CKING LIP OR SOMETHING AND WRITTEN MY NUM8ER IN 8LOOD SO I COULD T8LK TO THE NETW8RK.
8am! Instant friendly friendpals availa8le for the 8usting out of damsels in distress. Golly gee fucking whiz!!!!!!!!
Every8ody is free and NO8ODY IS FUCKING PEOPLE TO S8VE THEIR OWN WIMPY WEAK HIDE!

yeah that's nice and all but it doesn't change the fact that THIS is what I have to work with now

so do you have any intention of saying something useful or are you just going to sit there and fling insults at me

not that you aren't completely justified in doing so but I kind of have more important things to worry about than how pissed off you are

This is what you have to work with MY ASS.
If you didn't want to do this then you wouldn't 8e doing it! You would 8e collecting your cash and your 8elongings and may8e saying good8ye to people that give a shit - ie, DOING ALL THE THINGS I DIDN'T GET THE CHANCE TO DO - and you would 8e going into hiding instead of forcing OTHER people to.
8ut nope! The cowardly route is SO MUCH EASIER.
You know it 8n't going to stop here, right?
He will get his names, and he will pat your head, and he will praise you.
"Good dog," he will say, 8lowing his gross cigarettes in your face! "Have a 8iscuit."
8ut then he will demand MORE names. And more! Until he gets every8ody or until you stop giving them to him.
And what THEN???????? (Spoilers! He will kill you.)

well first of all i like how me saving my OWN ass is just FUCK AWFUL, but you risking other people's lives to break your sorry ass out of jail is apparently OKAY. Sit the fuck down.

SECONDLY, you're a dumbass, and here's why. You're only focusing on the BAD. Yes, this is terrible and yes I'm a dumbshit, but who's to say I can't organize an ambush for these fuckers or something? Does it put people's lives in danger? Fuck yes it does, but it also gives us an advantage.

I didn't risk no8ody's life! Didn't you see the plan? THE PLAN WAS FLAWLESS. Involving invisi8le people and mind control and NO8ODY GETTING CAUGHT OR IDENTIFIED OR HURT. At all. Not even one person! WOW LOOK AT THAT GR8 PLAN I MADE. I am all a8out the plotting and the planning and the scheming!
Which is exactly why I can say FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR TERRI8LE IDEAS.
You know who else could organise an am8ush?
LITERALLY ANY8ODY.
I could call the cops RIGHT NOW and 8e all "oh hey cops! I sure did just see an attractive teenage girl with awesome hair and her cutie 8oyfriend in PLACE X just now. The terrorist ones off the news! You should check it out."
And 8am! There is actually an am8ush w8ting for them and they get fucked up.
WHOA look at that! Same result, except no8ody had to give up their names and fell8 Sherman's fucking evil8oner! HOLY SHIT you're fucktarded.

no i didn't actually i was probably in jail at the time

okay, fine. you do that. tell me how it goes.

URGRHRGRHRGHRHRHHHHHHHH.
I can't 8ELIEVE I actually thought you seemed pretty ok!!!!!!!! And not FUNCTIONALLY RETARDED.
Like. Have you actually thought your current situ8tion through at ALL.
They pro8a8ly have you under constant surveillance, right? They are likely watching you RIGHT NOW. May8e your place is 8ugged! It definitely WILL 8e.
That one person found out normal people just see us zoning out instead of using the network. So you need to start putting in headphones or something while you use it so that you look like you are doing SOMETHING.
And start planting false inform8tion a8out things! Like the kinds of powers we have and our weaknesses and shit. And also make out like we are way more organised than we actually ARE.
LOOK HOLY SHIT HERE I AM WITH THE SCHEMEY PLANNY MASTERMIND STUFF WHOA!

do you really think I haven't been freaking out and thinking and planning and flipping my apartment upside down checking for bugs and shit? it's not all sunshine and rainbows over here, christ.

Ok first. Assume the 8ugs are there! 8ecause if they can make magical dogs and lil walking lighters and shit then they can TOTALLY make invisi8le undetecta8le 8ugging devices. Take the 8ugs as a fucking given.
Start doing suspicious shit!
Like idk. Occasionally write things on pieces of paper then 8urn them. And may8e if they are watching, they will think that is how we communic8!
So if they catch us they will just assume we can't talk to each other 8ecause there are no open flames around. 8888)
And HOLY SHIT START FUCKING WORKING ON GETTING OUT HE IS GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU THAT NEED TO 8E A THING YOU KEEP GETTING REMINDED OF. He is an evil 8ad guy and he LIES. You will 8e hells of dead if you don't get the fuck out and hide!

see I would take off and hide like a bitch but I WANT him to think I'm on his side. i don't trust him and i'm fairly certain he doesn't trust me which is fine but i'm not going to up and vanish and then become the target for some kind of city wide manhunt. Because you know what would happen if he found me and realized that I'm not on his side? I'm dead. Just dead.

Me and Alan are hiding just fine!
I mean yeah it is pretty 8oring and Alan misses his mom I guess 8ut it 8n't so 8ad.
8eing wanted is like. Super cool and heroic even when it sucks! So.

I don't hide from anything. I put myself in this position and I'm going to see this shit through to the end. Whatever end that might be.

What if the end is "and then you hid for a while so no8ody had to get fucked over, then all the police mysteriously died in num8er clu8 rel8ted accidents and no8ody had to hide any more. The end."

Nothing's ever that easy. Ever.

We are a 8ig-ass group with awesome-ass powers and the 8ad guys are scared of us enough that they are making DEALS to try and hunt us down 8efore we get even stronger.
Of COURSE it will 8e that easy!

We're at war, kid. Always assume the enemy has a leg up on you. Sure, we have people that have powers and shit. That's great, but what do we know about them? Next to fucking nothing! We have no idea what they're capable of!

Confidence is great and all, but they have the advantage.

Edited 2013-11-25 00:50 (UTC)

Think a8out it!
If they were capa8le of THAT much, then they wouldn't have 8othered keeping me and Alan alive when we refused to talk.
They would have killed us! At LEAST one of us.
8ut they didn't! They NEED us, which means we have more of an advantage than we think!

You might be right. You might not be. I'm not willing to take that risk.

Ok 8ro. You just go right 8ack to your original "risk every8ody ELSE" plan. >::::|

if we play our cards right it won't come to that.

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