ZIM || Ray Zimmerman the STE flavored AU (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
synonymouswithdookie) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
savetheearth2013-11-24 04:23 pm
synonymouswithdookie) wrote in savetheearth2013-11-24 04:23 pm
Entry tags:
- !open,
- #network,
- attack on titan: eren yeager,
- baccano!: isaac and miria,
- bleach: hollow ichigo,
- brave police j-decker: shadowmaru,
- death note: l lawliet,
- grimm: nick burkhardt,
- homestuck: aradia megido,
- homestuck: sollux captor,
- homestuck: vriska serket,
- invader zim: zim,
- original: sandrath,
- original: umbrael,
- portal: wheatley,
- princess tutu: mytho,
- shadow of the colossus: wander,
- supernatural: castiel,
- tales of symphonia: zelos wilder,
- tiger and bunny: kotetsu t. kaburagi,
- transformers live action: ironhide
[text]
HEY so some of you probably don't remember me which is GREAT because I kind of ignore most of you assholes anyway. I don't know if this is like common knowledge yet since LIKE I SAID I basically try to ignore you for the most part and pretend that none of this shit EXISTS, but I guess the police have magic dogs that can pick us out from people who aren't walking freak shows? WHICH IS AWESOME, RIGHT? I bet it was all over the network at some point, but I'm 100% a giant moron and pretty much never look, so long story short A MAGIC DOG GOT ME and some shitty dickhead cop motherfucker with an ugly face and a big butt arrested me. Did I mention he's an asshole because he is absolutely the biggest asshole fuck him.
Good news is I'm not in jail anymore, hooray for me, right? "BUT RAY HOW DID YOU GET OUT OF JAIL WHEN THEY KNOW YOU'RE ONE OF US :( ?" you may be wondering. Or maybe you don't give a fuck. Well listen up motherfuckers because you're ABOUT to give SUCH a fuck.
I may or may not have completely agreed to act as an informant for the people that want us dead soooooooo that's a thing that's happening now. Detective Slenderman or whatever wants NAMES and I don't want to be DEAD so he's getting his goddamn names.
Now don't worry, I'm not a complete asshole. I'm not going to charge right up to the fucker and sell all of you out, but I can only give the guy fake names and bullshit for so long before he starts catching on and sends the murder patrol to my front door. SO HERE'S HOW THIS IS GOING TO WORK (it probably won't work but I like to pretend to be optimistic): I need volunteers. I need actual REAL LEGIT NAMES to give this dude. Yes that would make life harder for you and YES it would be a giant pain in the ass but maybe we can think of a way to make this work to our advantage somehow? OR you can all just tell me to fuck off and worst case scenario only I have to become dead because I'd rather do that than get anyone else killed. Still though I'd prefer to be ALIVE.
PS: As a general rule, if you're not old enough to drink you're not old enough to volunteer for something this goddamn stupid so you dumbass teenagers can just fuck right off. At the very least nobody's going to be able to accuse me of getting kids mixed up in this.
PPS: I KNOW, I'M A MORON, I GET IT, I'M SORRY, ETC. SHIT HAPPENS, DEAL WITH IT.
Good news is I'm not in jail anymore, hooray for me, right? "BUT RAY HOW DID YOU GET OUT OF JAIL WHEN THEY KNOW YOU'RE ONE OF US :( ?" you may be wondering. Or maybe you don't give a fuck. Well listen up motherfuckers because you're ABOUT to give SUCH a fuck.
I may or may not have completely agreed to act as an informant for the people that want us dead soooooooo that's a thing that's happening now. Detective Slenderman or whatever wants NAMES and I don't want to be DEAD so he's getting his goddamn names.
Now don't worry, I'm not a complete asshole. I'm not going to charge right up to the fucker and sell all of you out, but I can only give the guy fake names and bullshit for so long before he starts catching on and sends the murder patrol to my front door. SO HERE'S HOW THIS IS GOING TO WORK (it probably won't work but I like to pretend to be optimistic): I need volunteers. I need actual REAL LEGIT NAMES to give this dude. Yes that would make life harder for you and YES it would be a giant pain in the ass but maybe we can think of a way to make this work to our advantage somehow? OR you can all just tell me to fuck off and worst case scenario only I have to become dead because I'd rather do that than get anyone else killed. Still though I'd prefer to be ALIVE.
PS: As a general rule, if you're not old enough to drink you're not old enough to volunteer for something this goddamn stupid so you dumbass teenagers can just fuck right off. At the very least nobody's going to be able to accuse me of getting kids mixed up in this.
PPS: I KNOW, I'M A MORON, I GET IT, I'M SORRY, ETC. SHIT HAPPENS, DEAL WITH IT.
no subject
But it's potentially MORE DANGEROUS.
no subject
sounds like you could use a break from her anyway
no subject
As long as she never knew we didn't.
no subject
OH YEAH, CODE PUSH THING WHOOPS
We'll be sure to bring plenty of food!
OH YEAH THAT
no subject
The best of the best!
no subject
-> [Action, 'Cause funtimes]
[And then they spent an hour looking for his place. They knocked on at least two wrong doors before they found the place.]
[ACTION EEE]
Hey! Hope the place wasn't too hard to find.
[ACTION YEAH BABY]
It was not trouble at all, buddy!
We got here lickity-split!
[Once they finally step back, it's apparent they're both carrying a bag of cookies each (chocolate chip and frosting with Isaac and Miria respectively.]
Re: [ACTION YEAH BABY]
Wow, you guys don't screw around.
[And then Ray realized he was blocking the doorway so he steps aside yep]
Here, come in. Have a seat. You guys want anything to drink?
Re: [ACTION YEAH BABY]
[The duo quickly jump inside, giddy as giddy can be.]
Whatever you have on hand is fine!
Re: [ACTION YEAH BABY]
his cat is on the couch licking his butt, that's important information.]
Beer, coke... I might have some lemonade left. I'll check.
[OFF TO THE KITCHEN]
Re: [ACTION YEAH BABY]
They sit down on the couch in unison, stupid grins on their faces.]
Whatever's more convenient for you to part with!