[Voice]

[espigeonage]

Well, I've gone and had a modelling milestone I should've seen coming. While I wrap my head around it, here's a game you shouldn't play unless you're prepared for awfulness: google yourself, what you're known by to the public, or just someone network-famous plus porn. How bad are your results? Can you top mine?

Oh, and I have uncovered an old safehouse. A very nice old safehouse. It's got two pools, hot and cold running roombas, and goddamn twelve cats. A beach party's not really feasible right now, but this should be different. I want people to come see and hang out! Send me a private message.

Comments

video

[youngestone]

[Killian just holds up the folder with Isabela's "short story"]

[espigeonage]

[Julien blinks innocently.]

What's that?

[video]

[gogoghostpowers]

[He thought he was prepared when he googled "cure phantom porn." After all, it's not like anyone would've actually made any, right?

He wasn't prepared. He wasn't prepared at all.]

Thanks a ton, now I'm never gonna get this out of my head!

[espigeonage]

I warned you! I warned you, bro!

audio;

[alilyinthemoonslight]

[ . . . ]

I am never doing that.

Ever again.

[ There are creepy people on the internet, kids. ]

[espigeonage]

Sorry, Lily. I did warn you!

Were there snakes involved?

[dragon_blossom]

See, that just makes me so damn curious, even if I know it's a bad idea.

Re: audio;

[guitar_case_vagabond]

[Hey, guess who's googling everybody but herself now.]

Holy shit.

Audio

[guitar_case_vagabond]

Eeeehh, no thanks. The reality's bad enough, I don't need to see what the fucking internet did with it.

[espigeonage]

That's probably wise. This stuff is hilarious with a certain mindset. Disturbing otherwise.

Audio

[purestambition]

Heh.

voice

[dragon_blossom]

I'm way, way too anime. This is creepy.

[espigeonage]

Sometimes they get me like that too! Gigantic angular eyes, tiny noses...

[Voice]

[scarlet_devil]

Given the terrible Rule 34 things one could find on the internet, I consider myself fortunate I'm not at all well known.

[espigeonage]

You're lucky, then! Some of this is less fetishy-extreme and more unsettlingly earnest.

voice;

[siesinddasessen]

[laughing all the way, s2s

she did look up titan porn and was even more amused than by what she found with some other networked people, but she cautiously avoided looking up anything on Julien. It's just... awkward, with family, even though she would never admit it.]

[espigeonage]

It's completely ridiculous, isn't it? And all these poor kids are traumatized, what have I done?

Private video

[thebalrogslayer]

I think people have been writing awful things about me since before you were born, and I'm sure some of it made it's way onto the internet even before all of this. [In other words, no he's not curious - or stupid - enough to look.] Congratulations on the milestone, though. Dare I ask?

What's this about a safe house, though?

[espigeonage]

[Julien winks.] A wise outlook. I can't believe how many people went and googled stuff! And, aaah - [he's suddenly more sheepish - yes, this is more embarrassing to him than absurd porn of himself] - I got my first actual request for a seminude shoot. The uh kind where it's all 'tasteful' and artistic and doesn't have to be actually nude, my agent said. Still.

Well, before Wise Snake we had some people offering "safehouses" where you could live if you changed too much or drew too much attention. Cloistered existences, you know. There was this one scifi author with a farm... anyway, one of them had a mansion and gave me a security pass. We set it up so even if he went off-network I could still go there - and I can, and he's been surprised but hasn't told me to leave.

voice

[arrowpoint]

Twelve cats?

[espigeonage]

[Trust Liam to notice that part of the post.]

Possibly more. I was last there in the winter. I think they're all fixed, but more could've moved in. It's an infestation.

text

[moreweaponsthanyou]

Not doing it no. Baaaaaad idea.

[espigeonage]

It is a VERY bad idea. But also funny.

voice;

[drama8om8]

You only just did that? Way to be the absolute slowest on the uptake! I googled my own rule thirty-four shit months ago.

[ She sounds prouder about this than she probably should. What a pioneer. ]

Did you know that fairy fetishes are an actual thing that some people have? And that having a boyfriend who can turn into a giant means that you attract all the weirdoes into micro-slash-macro stuff? Not to mention the vore. Baaaaaaaarf.

[espigeonage]

No one's ever accused me of being on the cutting edge!

And the crush. So, what's worse - hard or soft vore?

[squicksilver]

[ He'd been about to claw his eyes out from Julien's bird porn.

...

Until, that is, he googled his own. ]

R-rabbits? What?

[espigeonage]

Huh.

And top hats?

[waltharius]

That's... a terrible game.

[ Luckily he isn't well known enough to play. And he's not willing to put anyone else's name in the Google. ]

And that's a ridiculous amount of cats, jeez.

[espigeonage]

Yep. I did warn people!

He told me last winter there were twelve. There may be more now. It's at least a really big house with a big yard, so it's not a den of piss or anything.