savetheearth | five; text

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five; text

hey, so the mine trip was a bust.
some chick hacked some emails and shit, and basically found some conversations that said the Sage of Earth of whatever was a total hoax, but that Thunder corp was specifically searching for something called "Target 1" underground.
considering how dumb it would be to just start digging tunnels and drilling everywhere, we assumed they'd be using the mines to search.

well, we were wrong. (big surprise)

i don't know if anyone ever really officially reported their findings or whatever.
basically, there were those weird blackfuzzy hairy things and it legit looked like they were on drugs.
that was about all we found, because everyone getting those weirdass pulses.
i sure do love when all our leads run dry!!!!!!!
^^^^sarcasm^^^^^

as for happy funtime karson updates, i finally passed out after staying awake for an entire goddamn month.
and completely hypothetically speaking and not linked to finally sleeping or any pulses i may or may not have had,
i have a question.
uh

does

anyone remember dying?
like, legit dying, you are dead and gone and there's no way you're coming back through magical superpowers and it's probably your fault that you died?

EDIT: according to people who can't be classified as legally insane because of lack of sleep, there was a buzzing sound in the mines.

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not ever?

NEVER 8VER.

W8

W8 I MEANT LIKE

Y8U'RE N8VER EVER GETT8NG ME T88N PREGN8NT, NOT

I th8nk 8 n88d to l8e d8wn

ALONE

W8 W8 N8T L8KE

I h8 my stupid life

NOT EVER.

STOP POLICING MY NOT SEX LIFE

NO.
YOU NEED SOMEONE TO DO THE POLICING.
YOU NEED SOMEONE TO MAKE THE RESPONSIBLE CHOICES IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
DO I NEED TO REMIND YOU ABOUT MAKING OUT IN FRONT OF MONSTERS WITH ALAN?

D8N'T YOU FUCKING PUSH ME YOU 8SSHOLE YOU KNOW WH8T HAPPENS WH8N YOU PUSH ME

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I REGRET EVERY ICON I HAVE EVER MADE YOU RIGHT NOW

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good

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wow I

really should not have asked that. FORGET I ASKED.

N8 NO. SHUT UP. I 8M HELLS OF M8TURE AND JUST G8T CONFUSED THERE.
We will totally do it one day and KARSON WILL D8E INSIDE AND IT WILL 8E SUPER GR8.
(NOT EM8ARRASSED)

OK YES NO EMBARRASSMENT. WE DONT HAVE TO GIVE A SHIT ABOUT WHAT KARSON WANTS WELL DO WHAT WE WANT WHEN WE ARE READY TO DO IT AND HE HAS NO SAY IN IT.

YOU'RE D8MN F8CKING R8GHT WE WILL W8W WH8RE D8ES THAT DOUCHE8AG GET OFF EVEN.

SEE I JUST SAID "GET OFF" AND TH8T COULD 8E TAKEN SEXUALLY AND I D8DN'T G8T FLUSTERED OR 8NYTHING. M8TURE.

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go to bed linda

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im so tired louise

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DONE ALREADY BECAUSE I HAVE TO GO TO BED

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not ever.

get out I wasnt asking you.

as the highly valued friend of this couple of morons, i am putting my foot down.
*no teen pregnancy*

I WASNT TALKING ABOUT TEEN PREGNANCY I DONT WANT THAT.

ACCIDENTS HAPPEN, ALAN.
THEY FUCKING HAPPEN WHEN YOU DO THINGS LIKE THAT WITH WOMEN.
AND YOU WON'T HAVE TO LIVE WITH THE CONSEQUENCES.
SHE WILL.
DO YOU REALLY WANT TO TAKE A BET ON THOSE ACCIDENTS NOT HAPPENING?
BECAUSE, IF SO, YOU'RE AWFUL.

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