five; text

[enrages]

hey, so the mine trip was a bust.
some chick hacked some emails and shit, and basically found some conversations that said the Sage of Earth of whatever was a total hoax, but that Thunder corp was specifically searching for something called "Target 1" underground.
considering how dumb it would be to just start digging tunnels and drilling everywhere, we assumed they'd be using the mines to search.

well, we were wrong. (big surprise)

i don't know if anyone ever really officially reported their findings or whatever.
basically, there were those weird blackfuzzy hairy things and it legit looked like they were on drugs.
that was about all we found, because everyone getting those weirdass pulses.
i sure do love when all our leads run dry!!!!!!!
^^^^sarcasm^^^^^



as for happy funtime karson updates, i finally passed out after staying awake for an entire goddamn month.
and completely hypothetically speaking and not linked to finally sleeping or any pulses i may or may not have had,
i have a question.
uh

does

anyone remember dying?
like, legit dying, you are dead and gone and there's no way you're coming back through magical superpowers and it's probably your fault that you died?


EDIT: according to people who can't be classified as legally insane because of lack of sleep, there was a buzzing sound in the mines.

Comments

[enrages]

WHAT IS IT , OCTAVIA?
I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T LIKE BEING PUSHED??!!?
AM I
PUSHING
YOU?!?!?!?!?!!?

I REGRET EVERY ICON I HAVE EVER MADE YOU RIGHT NOW

[drama8om8]

N
N8!!!!!!!!
TAKE ALL THE CH8LLENGES YOU WANT YOU WON'T 8R8K ME.

good

[enrages]

what

[enrages]

about

[enrages]

the challenge of being the biggest cockblock that this world has ever witnessed?

[drama8om8]

You wouldn't DARE.
People have NEEDS! Can you imagine how angry Alan will 8e if his just 8uild up an

 

 

 

 

W8 ok realtalk holy fuck do you think that's why he's so shouty my mind is 8lown

[enrages]

if that's why he's so shouty, i think we should be worried.

[drama8om8]

I already am kind of worried negl.

[enrages]

kick him in the balls.
that's the only way to protect yourself.
if he still likes you after that, it's a legit relationship.

[drama8om8]

He still likes me after seeing my wings, Karson.
He REALLY likes me.
Like he said that he'd d8 me EVEN IF I WASN'T HOT. Siiiiiiiigggggggghhhhhhhh~ <33333333

[enrages]

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurhg.
remember the friendship rules i slammed down?
about how you guys can say that sorta shit, but i never have to hear it?
you're breaking that rule right now.

[drama8om8]

8ut that was 100% nonsexual! There was no side8oo8 or whatever with the wings-showing ok it was all super chaste and shit.
I'd show YOU them! THAT IS HOW CHASTE IT WAS.
And 8esides! That's super cute and you know it. I mean come the fuck on Karson he likes me for ME.
You might not 8elieve it 8ut that's pretty rare for me! People usually get distracted 8y my hot 8utt and don't really like. Get interested in the ME 8it.
Siiiiiiiigh. SIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH. <33333333

[enrages]

wow, that's kinda sad.
you must have had some shitty relationships in the past.

[drama8om8]

Do you remem8er Raul the exchange student? He was my 8oyfriend for like two weeks last year until his transl8tor finally arrived. After that he started crossing himself and making weird little panicky noises whenever I walked 8y so I think that means we 8roke up.

[enrages]

...............................................................




i think i remember that, actually.
yeah, wow, okay i think what you were doing to him was some form of sexual assault, actually.

[drama8om8]

Oh my god you heard the rumor a8out the 8anana THAT WASN'T EV8N TRUE THAT WAS MY NOTFRIEND LISA STIRR8NG SH8T 8ECAUSE SHE W8S JEALOUS. Oh my god OH MY GOD.

[enrages]

oHMY FUCKING GOD THAT WAS ABOUT YOU??!?!?!??!!?1

[drama8om8]

8T W8S 8LL LIES OK8Y I PROMIS8. AN

W8 then wh8t were Y8U t8lking a8out

[enrages]

I WAS TALKING ABOUT THE OTHER THING
THE WHOLE BATHROOM THING
YOU KNOW, THE *MENS BATHROOM* THING.

[drama8om8]

 

 

 

 

Yeah ok there are like. Two incidents you could 8e referring to there? You are going to have to clarify just a tiny teeny 8it. Give me a keyword.

[enrages]

just


were they both you
with
you know
the urinal
and
the mirror
and the urinal cake that's put in there to make things smell better
and
the
*you know*

[drama8om8]

I

I was the one with the soap-based accident? When Wrestler Brad lost his lucky sock and the vice-principal started crying?

 

 

I thought the urinal cake/mirror one was an urban legend did that actually happen oh my god is that even possible physically.

[enrages]

dude the urinal cake/mirror one totally happened.
i saw the aftermath, man.
i saw that quarterback weeping for his mother.
i dont think i'll ever feel whole again after witnessing his cold, dead eyes.


if it's the soap dispenser thing, that's not too bad.
go you, vp buttmad mcholloway had it coming.

[drama8om8]

Wow, I.
I am genuinely absolutely sorry you had to see that, Karson.
Is it true you all got mandatory therapy sessions afterwards? I mean I'd like. Assume so. Considering the. *You know.*

 

And I actually feel kind of proud now. Maybe I should make that my Thing? Like introduce myself as The One Who Did The Soap Dispenser Thing now I can't be an actress? 8Ia

[enrages]

the group therapy was almost as awful as the actual event itself...


also, no don't do that, holy shit.
there are some people and some cultures who don't trust that sort of behavior.
it might make you a target or something.