savetheearth | audio - phone - good morning, starshine, the earth says hello

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audio - phone - good morning, starshine, the earth says hello

[The voice is new, female and rather flustered.]

Whoa...did...? Oh--oh my gosh, it went through! It's work--er, um, sorry! I'm sorry, I'm being rude. Um, hello, my name is Candy, I'm calling because--well--I-I think I might have received this number accidentally some time ago? I just--er, at this point, I guess I'd just like to know whose number this is? I'm sorry, I know I'm rambling, but--yeah, that's about it.

...

...Hello? Is anyone there?

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Oh, hello. Um, well this isn't exactly a phone number. Wait, that makes no sense.

Let me start over. Hello, I'm Thomas Akagi. Welcome to the Secret Numbers Club.

O-Oh, hello, hi! I was worried for a second there...

Wh...what exactly is a secret numbers club?

Ok, this is going to be hard to explain over voice. Lemme think for a second. Have you ever been on an internet forum it's sort of ... no that doesn't make much sense.

Oh! Do you have a pencil or something with you?

Yyyyesssss? Hey, is this some kind of scam?

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Are you ready for the most bullshit experience of your life? 'Cause it's coming rightatcha.

E-Excuse me? A-Am I on speaker phone??

Nope. It's not a crazyass Obama conspiracy either, so check that off your list. Wanna know something crazy? I'm talking to you through my TV, since my dad took my phone.

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I suggest getting comfy in a chair with a shot of Jack

[ ...

...

... man this thing needs a google search feature. delay in response as alex scours the network for the faq. ]

Here

[She's...kinda sorta slightly a bit more okay with the fact that random text keeps appearing on her notepad. Kinda.]

All I have is box wine.

What is this? Some kind of manual?

[A long, long time later, after she's gone home, drank a whole bunch of the aforementioned box wine, and indeed huddled down in a chair,]

How can any of this be possible?

Your guess is as good as mine. God magic science who knows

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Hello, miss or mistress Candy! Congratulations and condolences on joining our band of necessarily-paranoid randoms. Should you ever have questions or a need of things, well, now you know how to contact us. My name is Julien. I know this is all pretty rough at first. Even after the shock wears off!

Just Candy is fine lol. I'm not sure I'll ever get used to this and I don't think I want to. But thank you Julien.

People can get used to anything, it feels like. Can I ask what oddness you got when you got your number? We call those events "extras" or "pulses". lol, the second's probably more accurate. It's a moment of feeling hollow and hearing your heart beat, and then something's changed.

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Candy?

There are people actually called that in real life?

[ Octavia knows how to cut straight to the important issues. She's a winner. ]

A-Aha, I know it's weird name. I've thought of getting it changed.

Oh man, you should!

[ There's no meanness there. Only gushing enthusiasm. STILL A WINNER. ]

Or like. Use a nickname or something? That's what I do. My point being there is no need to live with a shitty name in today's world! It's your name and you can do whatever the fuck you want with it! You could even be a symbol like that Prince guy was that one time. The possibilities are endless.

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[If this angle looks weird it's because she's using the network by sliding bits of food onto her cat food tray to form piles; the "camera" is pointed straight at the ceiling, with Regina leaning over it.]

Hello, I'm here! Is this your first time talking on the portal thingy?

[SCREAM. SUDDEN VIDEO SUDDEN CAT WHAT.] What the hell!

[She backs up with her fur fluffing in surprise.] Woah! Please don't shout at me!

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Oh dear, it seems like you've already exceeded your allotted number of free conversations. I do hope you're prepared to pay the difference.

Edited (herp derp html) 2013-06-22 20:45 (UTC)

Excuse me? What do you mean? No one told me there was a limit!

No? That was quite remiss of them, in that case; there's a strict limit of free conversations and the rest come with a price tag of twenty dollars per minute.

Secret networks don't upkeep themselves, you know.

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It was no accident.

The number?

Indeed.

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