audio - phone - good morning, starshine, the earth says hello

[sweetas]

[The voice is new, female and rather flustered.]

Whoa...did...? Oh--oh my gosh, it went through! It's work--er, um, sorry! I'm sorry, I'm being rude. Um, hello, my name is Candy, I'm calling because--well--I-I think I might have received this number accidentally some time ago? I just--er, at this point, I guess I'd just like to know whose number this is? I'm sorry, I know I'm rambling, but--yeah, that's about it.

...

...Hello? Is anyone there?

Comments

audio;

[sweetas]

Uh... [What. Does she even say to all this?] Thhhhanks? I don't know what other name I'd go with, though...

audio;

[drama8om8]

Something awesome! Something that says "I am a cool, confident, awesome" - presumably - "badass lady who changes her name to whatever the fuck she wants and doesn't play by the man's rules!" Or something.

[ Hmmm. ]

Queen... Something. There should definitely be a Queen in there.

audio;

[sweetas]

...How old are you?

audio;

[drama8om8]

Sixteen. You thought I was older, right? Because of my mature and worldly-wise attitude? I get that a lot.

[ 100% serious jfc ]

audio;

[sweetas]

[She's smiling to herself.] Oh yes. You sounded nineteen at least.

audio;

[drama8om8]

[ SO FUCKING PLEASED you don't even know ]

See, you totally know your shit! You should consider like. Queen Savvy for your name or something. Because it would be hells of appropriate!

audio;

[sweetas]

Haha, I don't know about that. It seems kind of like a name I'd regret when I'm old.

audio;

[drama8om8]

See, I could do the boring serious thing and be all "ooh, you may not live to be old this is some scary shit you've gotten into blah blah." But I won't! Because I'm cool like that and concentrating on possible impending doom is never productive, wow.

audio;

[sweetas]

It's really that dangerous around here? I just--I barely even know what's going on. I heard something about a mine and the police being corrupt and such, but...I mean, is this all part of something bigger? Do you know?

audio;

[drama8om8]

Uhh. Well. I'm kind of new too? But I know pretty much all the important shit anyway because I am smart and shit. People say I have an eye for detail. Maybe two.

But basically there are aliens or something and a guy died? And the aliens want to uh. Do gardening. Metaphorically. So I guess we're trying to stop them doing that because gardening is bad? We're like. You know those wildlife preservation places where you're not even allowed to cut the grass because blah-blah-habitats-blah? We are totally standing around and yelling at aliens with lawnmowers. Whether we like it or not. Or whatever.

[ THINGS MUST BE SO MUCH CLEARER NOW. YOU'RE WELCOME ]

audio;

[sweetas]

[She's silent for a moment. Then she starts laughing. It's borderline hysterical, but honestly, laughing is better than panicking.] Haha! When you put it like that it sounds so ridiculous! All I can think is those videos on YouTube of flying lawnmowers, hahaha!

audio;

[drama8om8]

Exactly! That is why I have been saying that we can't call the aliens gardeners, that's dumb as hell.

[ ... ]

Are there really videos of flying lawnmowers on youtube. Is that actually a thing.

audio;

[sweetas]

Well...I suppose it would be kind of scary if they're "gardeners" and we're "weeds." Or something.

There are! Just search "flying lawn mowers." [A laugh.] It's really hilarious.