audio - phone - good morning, starshine, the earth says hello

[sweetas]

[The voice is new, female and rather flustered.]

Whoa...did...? Oh--oh my gosh, it went through! It's work--er, um, sorry! I'm sorry, I'm being rude. Um, hello, my name is Candy, I'm calling because--well--I-I think I might have received this number accidentally some time ago? I just--er, at this point, I guess I'd just like to know whose number this is? I'm sorry, I know I'm rambling, but--yeah, that's about it.

...

...Hello? Is anyone there?

Comments

audio;

[sweetas]

In a city of millions? Not really... But wait, this network business, it can't just be people in Locke City, right? Maybe there are people all over the world who have a number and just haven't found the network yet. If that's the case, there could be hundreds, maybe even thousands of us! That's probably better odds...though it would also mean that this...this, I don't know, threat, whatever it is--it would mean it's global. Which...is scary to think about.

audio;

[enrages]

Do you think government is involved?

audio;

[sweetas]

Well...maybe. I mean, they usually are when things like this happen, right? Maybe not our government, but someone's government is probably involved.

audio;

[enrages]

It's gotta be the Russians. No one else would pull this shit in the heartlands of America.

audio;

[sweetas]

I have heard that Russian and American relations have been souring lately... [Not that she really knows what that means. For one thing, she never pays attention to politics, and for another she wasn't exactly alive during any part of the Cold War, so she has nothing to really compare it to.]

audio;

[enrages]

Damn straight, it's fucked up. Putin's got Snowden, who's giving him all our privacy info gathered from NSA-- which, if we had elected Ron Paul, we wouldn't even have to worry about, by the way. The Sec of State is flipping her shit over this, because, hey, guess who has all the info on the American populous? Hint: it's a vodka-infused nation that wants to be powerful again. That's who.

audio;

[sweetas]

...Ron Paul? Really? And I thought Snowden was in Cuba! I don't think the guy should have to be in exile, anyway.

audio;

[enrages]

They say he's in Cuba. I bet it's bullshit. Russia wouldn't give him up that easily.

....And yes. Ron Paul.

audio;

[sweetas]

I don't know if that guy would sell us out to the Russians, though...

Um, well, okay. I try not to pay much attention to politics. Was Ron Paul the racist one? Oh, wait, no, I'm thinking of...actually I think a lot of them were racist. Maybe.

audio;

[enrages]

Ron Paul was the only one with any sort of sense. The one who actually adhered to conservative principles, unlike all those shittyass "Republicans." He's legit the only politician who actually wants less government interfering with our lives.

audio;

[sweetas]

Oh! That was Ron Paul. I think I remember him. Actually, I remember my mother saying he was a bit like Ross Perot. You might not have heard of him; I barely remember that guy.

audio;

[enrages]

Ross Perot's a watered down Ron Paul.

audio;

[sweetas]

Haha, if you say so. I really have no idea. [Is she ashamed that a teenager knows more about politics than her? No, not really.]

audio;

[enrages]

It's fine-- I think about this shit a lot, which is why I've got all the ideas.

But, whatever. Politics. Sure. Whatever. What's your name? I feel like I've already run into half the people on this network in real life.

audio;

[sweetas]

Oh--I'm Candy. Is it common to run into people from the network? Is there a way we can recognize each other?

audio;

[enrages]

I'm Karson. I've already run into three people-- apparently they recognized my voice when I was delivering pizzas.

audio;

[sweetas]

Ah. I suppose that'll do it, heh. Maybe I shouldn't have used voice...

audio;

[enrages]

If anyone tries to kill someone from the network, they'll probably go after someone more important.

audio;

[sweetas]

I...guess. [Not too comforting but oh well.]

audio;

[enrages]

Or they'd kill me. Since the murder rate for delivery boys is ridiculously high.

audio;

[sweetas]

Jeez, really?

audio;

[enrages]

Yup. So I'll die before you.

audio;

[sweetas]

That's even less comforting. You're just a kid!

audio;

[enrages]

And nothing of value will be lost. Seriously, just look at the statistics. There is an insanely high percentage that says I'll die in jail or from a gun fight before I make it to 25. It's dangerous in today's society.

audio;

[sweetas]

Yeah, well--you just be careful and you'll be fine! I mean, you want to do stuff with your life, don't you? Never mind the statistics! Ninety percent of statistics are made up on the spot, you know.