savetheearth | [video]

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[When the video feed opens, the first thing to note about Alan's appearance is that he is covered in glitter. The second is that he's dressed to clean. The third is that he looks very, very worried.]

Does anyone here know how to get fairy dust off things? Octavia was practicing her flying and...

[He moves aside to show that the glitter is not just on him, the room he's in is also full of it. As he does, he turns his back on the camera, revealing a sparkly handprint on his butt.]

I need to get rid of this before my mom comes back, but it's taking forever. This stuff really sticks to everything. And I never realised how much dust there is everywhere, I'm never gonna get the place clean enough...

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[ Shouty pls ]

I honestly don't even know where to start.

yeah me neither thats why Im asking for help! so do you know anything about cleaning or not.

That isn't exactly what I meant.
The outfit, to begin with. You're aware halloween was over a week ago?

yeah idk about that really. I got it with a pulse just now and I was too busy to get changed.

So that spontaneously appeared on your person, but the cleaning is still your priority.

Are you on drugs.

[ NO TIME FOR MAC-ESQUE SUBTLETY NOW ]

that is the dumbest question I have ever been asked.

but no seriously you're not on drugs, right man

You. You're the delinquent type.
What drugs is he likely to have taken.

uhhhh i wanna say marijuana but it's probably something else since he's freaking out about dust

maybe meth? holy shit i hope it's not meth. i know a guy who got super fucked up on meth.

wait I'M NOT A DELINQUENT

We need to find out what it is. Then we find the dealer, and we stop this happening again.

And yes you are. Only delinquents know people who get "super fucked up" on the "meth." :ヘ|

THERE IS NO DEALER I AM NOT ON DRUGS

Is it the meth or the marijuana?

it could be cocaine, i forgot about cocaine.

that would actually explain a lot of things.

Shit.
Google says "pixie dust" is slang for cocaine.
I think you have it. Delinquency pays off at last.

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NOT

ON

DRUGS

I promise not to kill your dealer if you give me his name right now.

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NO I AM NOT

Right. I'll fix it.

*What kind of drugs have you taken.

I AM NOT ON DRUGS

Keep denying it and you'll force me to take drastic measures to get the information from you, Shouty.

THERE IS NO INFORMATION TO GET BECAUSE I AM NOT ON DRUGS.

Last warning before I get serious.

IM TELLING THE TRUTH WHY THE FUCK IS THAT SO HARD TO BELIEVE

Fine. You brought this on yourself.

Just say no to drugs, Alan.
People care about you.

I care. :ヘ|

[ Did that sound sincere or just mocking ]

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