savetheearth | two; video

two; video

[ The camera's pointed at a precious cutie scottie dog dressed in the most ridiculous dog outfit imaginable. The dog is currently licking its crotch. Karson's speaking from behind the camera. ]

Hey, network for assholes. Today's the most important day of the year, and I swear to god, if a single one of you is completely unaware of what day it is, I'm going to vomit all over this screen, and then, instead of guessing the day, you'll get to guess what I had for lunch.

So, you know what day it is today? It's America Day-- a day to celebrate the glorious freedom we could have if we'd all stop voting for Obama. A day to celebrate how, a fuckton of years ago, a bunch of powerful white men dressed in embarrassingly racist Native American costumes and wasted a lot of tea by dumping into a bay, killing all wildlife that might have lived there. It's to celebrate a revolution that was started by the murder of a freeman named Crispus Attucks, and it's to celebrate the first successful democracy ever created by a civilized nation. It's the day where we should all stand up for our rights and fight to bear arms!

[ The dog gets up and wanders over to Karson. He stops his rant for a moment to deliver a few pets. The dog promptly lies down and rolls over, demanding belly rubs. Karson delivers. ]

So get your fireworks, hold them high, and set that shit on fire--- except don't do it while it's in your hand, that's incredibly dangerous. Enjoy the light show tonight, and remember that thousands of people have died horrible, gangrene-filled deaths for freedom with a dash of democracy. God bless America, or whatever higher leveled deity you might worship.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

no, i'm not.
take some fucking initiative, woman.

It has less to do with initiative and more to do with expecting your head to come completely unscrewed at not telling someone how to live their lives.

But if that's the case then I suppose I'll move straight for the low-hanging fruit and inquire as to which Frankensteinian laboratory you acquired that malformed rat from? I'd seriously consider requesting a refund.

1) good on you for not insulting intelligence, since that seems to be your default.
you're expanding your borders here, good job.
2) FUCK YOU, MY DOG IS WONDERFUL AND A RESCUE DOG. HE'S SEEN SOME SHIT AND LIVED THROUGH HELL AND NOW THAT HE'S FINALLY HAPPY, YOU HAVE NO RIGHTS TO INSULT HIM.

Oh, it was supposed to be a dog? Dear me. Did you ever think that perhaps there were multiple good reasons that he found himself as an unwanted castoff?

he was castoff because there are terrible human beings in the world who like to cause suffering to others due to their irresponsible behaviors and bitchy attitudes.
so basically, five dollars says you or your ilk were his original owners.

Even I'm not cruel enough to torture an abomination like that by prolonging its unnatural life. I'm surprised that you can sleep at night knowing the misery you're inflicting on that patchwork creature.

you seriously just threatened to kill my dog.
you are seriously talking about killing animals.
that's called psychosis, woman.
people actually need to get help for that shit.
you need help for that shit.
psychosis also explains a lot about your personality.

Euthanasia is actually the more humane option when living has become an exercise in suffering, as is the case with the blighted animal you seem intent on housing. Or are you against being as kind to your pets as you possibly can? That wouldn't surprise me.

you're fucking insane.
hellloooo, euthanasia is a kindness to the owners, not the animal.
in fact, that shit's actually MURDER.
if your argument holds true and murder's the better option for the one suffering, why is euthanasia illegal for humans?

Family members wanting to see relatives who've wronged them in the past suffer as long as possible, I'd imagine. There's nothing wrong with sending something that's become a burden to a more comfortable state.

do you know what happens after death?

The living sell off your life support machinery and move on to a more productive life for themselves.

no, you moron.
for the person who dies.
because you're making this ridiculously massive assumption here (which isn't very indicative of a brilliant mind, after all).
you're assuming that dying is preferable to any form of life, no matter how much you might be suffering.
there's nothing you've said to back it up, there's no evidence that exists to back you up.
you're being dumb, actually.

Have you been in a hospital recently? Or looked over at the twisted sack of flesh shedding at your feet? There's a stunningly wide selection of ways to 'live' that have nothing on death, regardless of what does or doesn't wait on the other side.

assumption.
you are 1) making judgments about lives that you could never hope to understand
2) pretty much saying that everyone who lives in a less than privileged manner than you needs death
3) life is necessary to make any sort of judgment about suffering; the fact that you're alive now allows you to make these shitty argumentation about how suffering > life.
4) you seriously need to see a doctor, this is actually really worrisome hearing this shit from you.

You seem to be awfully unsettled by the fact that there are people in this world who would prefer quality of life over a pointless extension. Are you truly that afraid of dying?

"pointless extension of life" isn't even a thing.
regardless of who you are, regardless of where you are or what you're doing or how depressing or sad or boring life might seem, it's not pointless.

It can quite easily become pointless. Or are you really going to try and argue that decades spent in a hospital room with limited to no control over your own body is worth the insurance money spent to pump the oxygen?

i can't speak for those people, because unlike you, i'll take into account that other opinions exist and i don't hold all the answers.
HOWEVER, if i were in that situation, i'd take life over death any day of the week.
because even if i'm in the hospital, if i'm depressed, if i lose my fucking legs, etc etc whatever, there are still things to live for.
there are still things to do, still people who love me, and there will always
always
always be a reason to stay alive.
even for someone as bitter as you.

That's exactly the sort of burning opinion that attracts horrendous tragedies. I look forward to seeing you adjusting to being a paraplegic with that same vigor.

i'll be sure to call you up every day and rub it in your face.
because seriously, you have the most shriveled, bitter soul in existence.
so even as a paraplegic, i'll be happier than you.

So happy that your face might twitch on occasion all by itself. What a heartening story to look forward to.

honestly, anything's better than being you.

Now who's making assumptions? Tsk, tsk, hypocrisy is the worst damage you can do to an argument.

no, seriously.
i've talked to you enough to make the judgment that you are a miserable person.
like, why else would you devote so much of your time to bringing people down to your level of misery??
hint: it's not because you're smart. it's not because you're sassy.

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