enrages: (my face is too holy for your bullets)
Karson Valenti | {Karkat Vantas} ([personal profile] enrages) wrote in [community profile] savetheearth2013-07-04 04:25 pm

two; video

[ The camera's pointed at a precious cutie scottie dog dressed in the most ridiculous dog outfit imaginable. The dog is currently licking its crotch. Karson's speaking from behind the camera. ]

Hey, network for assholes. Today's the most important day of the year, and I swear to god, if a single one of you is completely unaware of what day it is, I'm going to vomit all over this screen, and then, instead of guessing the day, you'll get to guess what I had for lunch.

So, you know what day it is today? It's America Day-- a day to celebrate the glorious freedom we could have if we'd all stop voting for Obama. A day to celebrate how, a fuckton of years ago, a bunch of powerful white men dressed in embarrassingly racist Native American costumes and wasted a lot of tea by dumping into a bay, killing all wildlife that might have lived there. It's to celebrate a revolution that was started by the murder of a freeman named Crispus Attucks, and it's to celebrate the first successful democracy ever created by a civilized nation. It's the day where we should all stand up for our rights and fight to bear arms!

[ The dog gets up and wanders over to Karson. He stops his rant for a moment to deliver a few pets. The dog promptly lies down and rolls over, demanding belly rubs. Karson delivers. ]

So get your fireworks, hold them high, and set that shit on fire--- except don't do it while it's in your hand, that's incredibly dangerous. Enjoy the light show tonight, and remember that thousands of people have died horrible, gangrene-filled deaths for freedom with a dash of democracy. God bless America, or whatever higher leveled deity you might worship.
coulrage: (WTF ♫ I don't believe)

[personal profile] coulrage 2013-07-04 09:50 pm (UTC)(link)
[Busy watching dog...

Busy missing dog...

Busy trying to figure out what Karson actually said...

Busy giving up.
]

All I got outta that's that you like America or somethin'. [???]
sweetas: (doughtnuts)

audio

[personal profile] sweetas 2013-07-04 09:56 pm (UTC)(link)
...Wasn't Rome a democracy for awhile there? Actually, wasn't Greece a democracy too?
amberhearted: (34; i can't see)

[text]

[personal profile] amberhearted 2013-07-04 09:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Happy 4th of July to you too

[ yay, time for more DUI calls and underage drinkers pissing themselves in the ER this holiday weekend :|)-\ ]

Cute dog btw
Edited (forgot format) 2013-07-04 21:57 (UTC)
drama8om8: (8lack card at the 8ar like I give a fuck)

text;

[personal profile] drama8om8 2013-07-04 10:03 pm (UTC)(link)
I was going to point out that you managed to make a day about partying and fireworks and illicit underage alcoholism BORING, but then I got distracted by your dog.
So just pretend I typed out a whole rant! And that it was very scathing and witty and you were shamed by it to an insane degree. Ok????????

(Also October 24 is the ACTUAL most important day. Duh.) ;D
happybirthdaytoyou: (shout)

VIDEO

[personal profile] happybirthdaytoyou 2013-07-04 10:11 pm (UTC)(link)
HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY! HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!

[HAPPY BIRTHDAY THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA! Guess who has a big old cake in front of him decorated with red strawberries and blue blueberries.]
Edited 2013-07-04 22:12 (UTC)

audio

[personal profile] hopediesalone 2013-07-04 10:14 pm (UTC)(link)
[Karson, over the network you'll hear the opening strains to some dignified piano tune.....

that quickly make themselves apparent as The Internationale

get bent, kid
]
coulrage: (Spacing it ♫ I don't believe)

[personal profile] coulrage 2013-07-04 10:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Woah, woah, okay. Praise Jesus 'n' shit. [lol] Is it election day or something?
sweetas: (coffee)

audio

[personal profile] sweetas 2013-07-04 10:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Well...fair point. But I think it's normal for countries to have flaws. I don't think that makes them uncivilized, though.
shiromadoushi: (Side smile happy happy)

[Text]

[personal profile] shiromadoushi 2013-07-04 10:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Hey, tumblr. What country are your fireworks made in?
drama8om8: (Fuck the fellas lookin' jealous)

text;

[personal profile] drama8om8 2013-07-04 10:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Don't tell me what to do, you freedom-oppressing sack of shit!!!!!!!!
Or was all your "blah blah AMURRICA" shit a lie? Were you being fake and false and fraudulent?
For shame!
Is that better? 8)

 

(Also does that mean you wouldn't like go to a party on that day if you were invited to one or something? Theoretically? In theory.)

audio

[personal profile] hopediesalone 2013-07-04 10:37 pm (UTC)(link)
For justice thunders condemnation...

[WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT]
coulrage: (Smirk ♫ Throw a stranger)

[personal profile] coulrage 2013-07-04 10:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh.

[But that means...

That means...
]

Aw shit, Sparkler Day! [ENTHUSIASM.]
playerspooker: (Cocky as can be.)

Video

[personal profile] playerspooker 2013-07-04 10:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, yeah, tank-tops for everybody, guy.

[Sure he meant 'bear arms' and not 'bare arms', but given the way they got started a few days ago, Linda can't help but be a jerk.]

audio

[personal profile] hopediesalone 2013-07-04 10:41 pm (UTC)(link)
[oh you shouldn't have gone up against the musician like that

why would he not have one of his own

BLASTING BACK
]

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