01: phone textage

[synonymouswithdookie]

So after a few months of being in complete denial that I am quite possibly at least a little bit insane, I decided to check out this... magical psychic hotline number network thingy. Or whatever it is. I've come to the conclusion that you are all straight up batshit, and that I probably shouldn't have bothered for the sake of my own mental well being.

But fuck it. Work's dead and I don't have anything better to do right now.

But no seriously are you real people or am I just texting my brand new imaginary friends or something. Maybe you are people. Maybe you're evil telemarketers, and telemarketer technology has advanced to the point of transmitting numbers directly into people's brains. Or no better yet, maybe it's an elaborate government spy tool or something. I don't THINK anyone drilled anything into my skull during basic, but it could happen. Maybe THE MAN is watching me text crazyness to myself RIGHT NOW through my own brain.

Dear Government, if this is you get the fuck out of my brain before I set you on fire.

(just in case this IS the government, i won't actually set you on fire I'M SORRY)

Comments

[Text]

[shiromadoushi]

What a thing to be proud of. Though I guess I know who to call when I want something messed up~

Re: [Text]

[synonymouswithdookie]

pretty much. I got nothin' better to do.

[Text]

[shiromadoushi]

No other hobbies except trolling? That's kinda sad.

[Text]

[synonymouswithdookie]

I got plenty of hobbies, but I don't exactly have room in my apartment to refurbish an old car.

[Text]

[shiromadoushi]

Try miniatures!

Or a driveway somewhere with a tarp.

Re: [Text]

[synonymouswithdookie]

If I happen to make friends who have a driveway or something, I'll think about it.

[Text]

[shiromadoushi]

You don't even have a driveway? Downtown or something?

Re: [Text]

[synonymouswithdookie]

I live in an apartment. I have a parking space. That's about it.

[Text]

[shiromadoushi]

And the space isn't big enough to work on it, huh? Sucks.

Re: [Text]

[synonymouswithdookie]

you ever tried building a car in a space that small?

[Text]

[shiromadoushi]

Nope. Don't know a thing about cars and don't care to.

Re: [Text]

[synonymouswithdookie]

You at least know how to change a tire, right?

[Text]

[shiromadoushi]

On my bike.

[Text]

[synonymouswithdookie]

Better than nothing, I guess.

[Text]

[shiromadoushi]

Far more useful than knowing how to fix something that I don't own.

[Text]

[synonymouswithdookie]

Well yeah, but saying I can fix a bike isn't nearly as cool as saying I know how to fix an army tank.

[Text]

[shiromadoushi]

Unless you have an army tank in your driveway, doesn't much matter if you can fix it or not, right?

[Text]

[synonymouswithdookie]

Sure it matters. It means I'm more awesome than you are.

[Text]

[shiromadoushi]

I can summon a giant half man half snake spirit monster. That beats your tank any day.

Re: [Text]

[synonymouswithdookie]

Bullshit.

[Text]

[shiromadoushi]

100% truth. And I can prove it.

[Text]

[synonymouswithdookie]

Well good because I'm gonna call bullshit until I see this shit in person.

[Text]

[shiromadoushi]

This evening, the park not too far from the dead district that has that wooded area in the back that almost no one goes to.

[Text]

[synonymouswithdookie]

That sounds like the kinda place hobos would hang out and try to annoy me for money. Or pee on me.

[Text]

[shiromadoushi]

Tall enough trees to hide that fact that he's big as a building and no one bothers going there. Because like fuck am I going to summon him where people can see.