savetheearth | 01: phone textage

So after a few months of being in complete denial that I am quite possibly at least a little bit insane, I decided to check out this... magical psychic hotline number network thingy. Or whatever it is. I've come to the conclusion that you are all straight up batshit, and that I probably shouldn't have bothered for the sake of my own mental well being.

But fuck it. Work's dead and I don't have anything better to do right now.

But no seriously are you real people or am I just texting my brand new imaginary friends or something. Maybe you are people. Maybe you're evil telemarketers, and telemarketer technology has advanced to the point of transmitting numbers directly into people's brains. Or no better yet, maybe it's an elaborate government spy tool or something. I don't THINK anyone drilled anything into my skull during basic, but it could happen. Maybe THE MAN is watching me text crazyness to myself RIGHT NOW through my own brain.

Dear Government, if this is you get the fuck out of my brain before I set you on fire.

(just in case this IS the government, i won't actually set you on fire I'M SORRY)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Alternate history, has to be. I've tried finding when anything like that might even be, but there wasn't any mention of anything that matched anywhere. Closest I found was some insane new age bullshit book, and when the author starts out talking about the aliens that she channeled to write you know you're not dealing with reality anyway.

Are we pulling alternate dimensions into this shit now too? I guess I shouldn't be surprised at this point, but damn.

Pretty much have to. Nothing else makes sense unless you're really into overly complicated conspiracy theories.

And even then, you'd have to factor in time travel.

I'm too lazy for complicated conspiracy theories. Alternate dimensions suits me just fine.

Good. Cause you're going to have to get used to them.

[[He paused, leaning his bike up against a mailbox before crouching down to lock it up.]]

Makes it make a lot more sense and seem less insane to just wave it off as that anyway.

How is that any less insane?

[ray paused to put out his cigarette, aaand then glanced over his shoulder like he just realized something]

I left my damn car at the damn park. Like a moron.

Not like you need it for pizza. You can head back for it later. [[but he might look a bit amused as he gets up and dusts his hands off]]

And it's less insane because if it's another world, it's another set of rules. So it could be perfectly normal to be a werewolf in Victorian London or a spaceman or anything else.

I guess I could use the exercise anyway. I've been pretty lazy lately.

Anyway. How does that help us here? We're still weirdos here no matter what different "rules" are floating around out there in the universe or whatever, y'know?

[[a shrug]] Not as weird as it could be. Unless you start turning into a zombie or growing horns or something. Then you're pretty much fucked in terms of passing as normal.

I don't wanna be a zombie.

[SIGH]

Lets just eat pizza until we explode. If I'm exploded I can't become a zombie.

I'd think you'd be more likely to~ [[a grin]]

Besides. Odds are more that you'll become some sort of awesome monster instead. Have more of those than zombies. Or a robot. Have more of those than zombies too.

[[pushing open the door to the pizza place now, holding it just a moment to make sure it's not going to slam in Ray's face]]

What does that mean. Are you calling me zombieish?

[Don't worry dude Ray's face is SAFE FROM DOORS as he follows bakura inside]

Nah, watch. I'm gonna be some kinda chihuahua or something.

You will be if you explode!

And chihuahua can be pretty fierce. They're compact balls of hate of anything bigger than they are because they know they're doomed to live in a pocketbook.

Bullshit. If I explode, my body will be in chunks. There won't be anything left to zombify.

...Y'know, I feel like I understand chihuahuas a little too well, now.

You're not that short~

[[Dodging the repercussions of that by reaching the counter and placing an order for a pair of pineapple slices.]]

[just glaring like a megadouche. He'll let it slide because FOOD.]

Is pineapple even good on pizza?

Of course. Not as good as corn, though. But they don't make that here.

What did you want on yours?

[[since both of those are for him.]]

Who the fuck eats corn on pizza.

[Anyway.]

Meat. All the meat. Especially anchovies.

[[nods to the counter attendant]] Meat lovers for the carnivore.

[[and back to Ray]]

Most of Japan. Most of the specials have it. Though what's better, actually, are the seafood ones. Shrimp, octopus and squid and whatever else they wanna toss on it. Pricey as hell, but totally worth it at a good place.

Y'know, I think I could get behind a seafood pizza. Corn, not so much.

Not a veggie kinda guy?

I'd offer to get you a slice, but I don't think it'd keep too well. That and I likely wouldn't remember it next time I'm in Tokyo.

Vegetables are for rabbits.

hey, maybe I'll luck out and find a joint around here that does it.

If you do, let me know. I haven't yet.

If Google fails me, I'll just learn how to make it myself. It can't be that hard.

Probably not. [[a pause as he takes his slices with a small "thanks" and goes to swipe his card]]

I don't really cook so I wouldn't know.

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01: phone textage

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