[video] forward-dated to the 24th

[grannyfucker]

[Jovan's face is lit only by the light from his phone. The background is mostly pitch black, but it's clear that he's sitting in a pile of something shiny.]

Alright, not being funny here, I need a rescue mission right the fuck now before a dragon comes out of here somewhere and eats me! SOS, SOS, send down those rescuers who got the Chilean miners out! I'm inside that new mountain that popped up in Vegas!

[He swings the phone around to give the network a view of his surroundings. Not much is visible, but Jovan clicks on his flashlight and illuminates at least a small portion of the area--he is sitting on a giant pile of golden coins, trinkets, jewels, and the like. The full scale is not really visible from the flashlight's view, but one thing is clear: it's BIG.]

Send your best cave dwellers before I die down here!

Comments

video;

[starlightheart]

[She actually looks quite concerned!]

Oh no, how horrible! But how did you get down there...?

video;

[grannyfucker]

I took a boat and walked into a cave, how do you think?!

video;

[starlightheart]

[She blinks a little.]

I'm just asking, we need whatever information we can get if anyone's going to get you out of there!

[She huffs a little.] Did you just keep walking until you got lost?

video;

[grannyfucker]

No, I--[he grasps the side of his head] I don't know! I don't even know why I came out here!

[Voice]

[scarlet_devil]

[And what is Emi's reply? Laughter, of course.]

[Voice]

[grannyfucker]

Hey, this is no laughing matter!

[Video]

[scarlet_devil]

[And after a moment, Emi decides to switch to video... Feeling jealous of Arthur yet?]

What does it matter? Death is only an inconvenience for you.

[Video]

[charcoalfeather]

[Rakka is only mildly shocked at this point.]

Uh... how did this happen?

[Video]

[grannyfucker]

[sounding quite exasperated:]

Is the why and how of it really that important?!

[Video]

[charcoalfeather]

Uh.... sort of?

Video

[onecream_fivesugar]

Shhhhhh! Don't be so loud, you'll wake the dragon up!

Video [1/2]

[grannyfucker]

[rolls his eyes so hard his head rolls too.]

Oh for--I was joking about there being a dragon!

Video [2/2 AT LONG LAST]

[grannyfucker]

[he's suddenly stage whispering now]

...do you think there's a dragon?

Video

[onecream_fivesugar]

...I-I think it would be cooler if there was a dragon.

Dragons make basically everything cooler.

[Video]

[italktofish]

DON'T WORRY, CHUM!

I'LL SEND A BUNCH OF SILVERFISH DOWN THERE WITH A STRING, AND THEN YOU CAN FOLLOW THE STRING OUT!

[Video]

[grannyfucker]

[You know what. At this point Jovan has just accepted Arthur's crazy life and solutions. If the guy can fly him halfway across the country on the back of a dolphin(???) then he can send silverfish down a mountain with a ball of string.]

Alright, alright, fine, send the fish down with string.

[Video]

[italktofish]

[Arthur holds up a palm full of silverfish. They are all waving at Jovan. Gross.]

We'll be RIGHT ON OUR WAY as soon as we pick up some TWINE!

[Voice]

[gobybessie]

You don't know how to get back out? Did you go somewhere you shouldn't have?

[Voice]

[grannyfucker]

I fell down a hole and died.

[disdainfully]

There is no dragon in my mountain. [And he's never in his life felt so tempted to add "only maybe a couple of orcs". But no, you don't joke about that, ever.]

How did you get where you are?

[grannyfucker]

Your mountain? Since when did it become your mountain?

[Somehow, Jovan deems this a far more vital topic for discussion than where he is.]

[disdainfully]

Since it appeared.

Now tell me where you are.

[Audio]

[dead_black_eyes]

Hasn't something like this happened to you before?

[Audio]

[grannyfucker]

What? No.

Okay, maybe once. Or twice. [He shuts his eyes and waves his hand vaguely as a sort of revision to his previous statement.] Alright, a couple times! Why?

[Audio]

[dead_black_eyes]

Because you must have some idea of how it looks when there's a discernible pattern or tendency that causes you to look, for lack of a better word, inept.