[video] forward-dated to the 24th

[grannyfucker]

[Jovan's face is lit only by the light from his phone. The background is mostly pitch black, but it's clear that he's sitting in a pile of something shiny.]

Alright, not being funny here, I need a rescue mission right the fuck now before a dragon comes out of here somewhere and eats me! SOS, SOS, send down those rescuers who got the Chilean miners out! I'm inside that new mountain that popped up in Vegas!

[He swings the phone around to give the network a view of his surroundings. Not much is visible, but Jovan clicks on his flashlight and illuminates at least a small portion of the area--he is sitting on a giant pile of golden coins, trinkets, jewels, and the like. The full scale is not really visible from the flashlight's view, but one thing is clear: it's BIG.]

Send your best cave dwellers before I die down here!

Comments

[Video]

[grannyfucker]

Maybe you want to loot my dead body, I don't know, I'm not the criminal mastermind here!

[Video]

[charcoalfeather]

But I'm not trying to do that! Honest!

[Video]

[grannyfucker]

Prove it, then! Go on!

[Video]

[charcoalfeather]

How am I going to do that?!

[Video]

[grannyfucker]

Why are you asking me? You're the one here who's got to prove something!

[Video]

[charcoalfeather]

[She lets out a frustrated noise.]

I just wanted to know how you ended up there!

[Video]

[grannyfucker]

I already told you, I don't know!

I wandered into a cave I didn't know even existed and fell down a hole and died! What, are you deaf?! No, I take that back, because at least if you were deaf you'd be able to read my lips on this video.

You're deaf and blind! Your past self was probably Helen Keller, you know that?