Entry #B-1: "B" [November 19, Video]

[dead_black_eyes]

[The man appearing onscreen this morning is haggard, somber, and distracted. Clearly, he's been awake all night, something he's been doing far too often lately, sitting curled in the middle of what appears to be a cleaned up but ancient school gymnasium's basketball court with his chin on his knees. A few feet away is a blue tarp hiding something sizable and lumpy.]

I know Albero's people are striking Espresso Yourself, early on the morning of Sunday, November 23, at 3:15 AM. They will be there to raze the building to the ground and they do not intend to take prisoners.

[He bites his lip, glancing away from the camera. The calmness he's affected since Anthony's death slips for a second, revealing something like fear. He swallows.]

I've been waiting for a pulse. I was hoping that maybe my other's experience and knowledge could help me, in this regard, but up to this point... it's been all quiet on that front.

[He rises slowly, moving towards the tarp and drawing it away from what it conceals. There are many pounds of dynamite stacked in the middle of his gym, along with several ominous looking canisters.]

I have dynamite and nitroglycerin. I think...

[He takes a deep, shuddering breath.]

I know we can kill a lot of them. Part of me really wants to, and I can't be the only one. But I know... I know that's not what we're fighting for, a criminal record of our own and another reason to be driven out of this city. So...

[He sits again, hard, on the floor, eyes and posture conveying a distinctly dazed quality.]

I think maybe it would be better to use this information to get the FBI on this and catch them in the act, with no blood shed. I'm prepared for both of these scenarios, but honestly... I don't know what's right. I'm so tired. I trust all of you, so... please help me make the right decision.

EDIT: I've been informed that Nick knows about another upcoming opportunity, a chance to hit the Mafia where it hurts. There's to be a meeting of higher-ups in the near future; further details are forthcoming.

Comments

[dead_black_eyes]

Nothing is beneath me if I think it'll help. I would do anything to bring down the people who hurt Tony; you know that better than anyone.

[brotimaeus]

I know that, but blowing up a building ain't something that's gonna help. Not him, or any of us.

[dead_black_eyes]

Technically, they'd be blowing up the building. This dynamite's no danger to anyone until someone lights a match, and that's what they're coming to do.

[brotimaeus]

That's splittin' hairs and you know it.

[dead_black_eyes]

I don't deny it.

If I knew the right course of action, I wouldn't have come forward like this. I'm no judge, I'm uncertain about being an executioner, so best believe I require a jury.

[brotimaeus]

If you really thought this was somethin' you should do, I don't think you'd be askin' people if it was right.

[He huffs out a sigh.]

You ain't a monster, L. Don't.. let this fuckin' turn you into one.

[dead_black_eyes]

No, I wouldn't be. It would be done, if I thought it was right.

[He finds it just a touch chilling that Richard knows that monsters are very much on his mind at the moment. Then again, Richard's always been pretty perceptive in the time he's known him.]

[brotimaeus]

.. Right.

[Of course it would. L's a person of action, when he really puts his mind to something.]

But listen, when you've made up your mind, do you wanna come over?

[dead_black_eyes]

You want me to come over?

[He sounds like he has a new, fresh difficult decision to make.]

You go home to Tony. My... work is what I go home to, now. I never leave. I don't know if I can leave.

I worry I'll be buried if I try.

[brotimaeus]

I never mind seeing you. You know that.

[Decisions, decisions.]

And Tony isn't gonna expire if I leave him alone for a couple of hours.

[Audio]

[dead_black_eyes]

I'm not opposed to you coming here... this building is for everyone. I just can't leave.

[He can, and probably should, but he has convinced himself of some very strict and extreme things recently.]

[Audio]

[brotimaeus]

You can't, or you won't?

[Nothing else, just that question.]

[Audio]

[dead_black_eyes]

Do you know what a labor of love is? I'm not asking if you know the definition, I'm asking if you've ever had one before.

[Audio]

[brotimaeus]

[Sigh.]

Yeah, L, I have.

[Audio]

[dead_black_eyes]

Then you know why I can't.

[Audio]

[brotimaeus]

Y' know what they say about hindsight?

[Audio]

[dead_black_eyes]

That it's 20/20, but I'm not sure what point you're trying to make. If anything, I'd regret not working on it.

[Audio]

[brotimaeus]

What I'm tryin' to say is, I can understand what you're doin'.. but just be sure you ain't gonna regret what you put aside while you do it.

[Audio]

[dead_black_eyes]

The thing about hindsight is you can't use it until it's too late to change what's happened, anyway.

[Audio]

[brotimaeus]

'S true, but that's why foresight is such a great thing.

[Audio]

[dead_black_eyes]

I can't leave. Even if you never mind seeing me, that's not enough of a reason. I'm sorry.