text;

[drama8om8]

Oh my g8d mom 8te my stepdad

[ This text is appended with another one, just minutes later: ]

8nd may8e a journ8list too I found a c8mera

Comments

[drama8om8]

R8ght 8n fr8nt 8f m8 m8king s8tisfi8d cl8cking n8ises of c8urse

[ I'm sorry were you expecting specific directions like "in the cave under my basement and also it's not human mom it's a giant spider" because let me tell u a thing ]

[wirsinddiejager]

OCTAVIA YOU NEED TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW

[There are no misunderstandings happening here. None whatsoever.]

[drama8om8]

She's not g8ing to eat ME Al8n!!!!!!!!
Or she'd h8ve done it 8efore n8w.

[wirsinddiejager]

what do you mean before now

how long has this been a thing

[drama8om8]

Since the 8lackout may8e. I mean I only f8und h8r a w88k aft8r when I he8rd her g8tting all w8rked up and hungr8 and I tri8d f88ding her anim8ls and fast f88d 8ut she wouldn't 8ut I thought it'd 8e s8fe to just keep an ey8 on her and she'd e8t eventually 8ut there was a h8le.

[wirsinddiejager]

[S C R E A M I N G]

why didnt you tell me

[drama8om8]

8ecause I 8m supposed to 8e a8le to h8ndle this stuff just fine 8y mys8lf, duh!!!!!!!!
And I was. 8ut then there is a F8CKING HOLE WH8 IS TH8RE A HOLE

[wirsinddiejager]

[And then he's hit with an Echo and everything gets just a little bit more horrific.]

ok no you shouldnt have tried to handle it yourself. I get that it can be hard to accept Octavia but that thing is not your mom.

[drama8om8]

VRISKA'S m8m then! N8W IS NOT THE T8ME TO 8E A PED8NTIC ASSH8LE.

[wirsinddiejager]

wait WHAT

[drama8om8]

WHY D8 PEOPL8 KEEP S8YING TH8T

[wirsinddiejager]

BECAUSE YOURE NOT MAKING ANY SENSE SINCE WHEN WAS VRISKAS MOM A TITAN

[drama8om8]

SHE'S NOT A TIT8N YOU STOOGE SHE IS A GI8NT PERSON-EATING SPIDER WHO LIVES IN A C8VE UNDER MY 8ASEMENT THIS IS ALL SUPER O8VIOUS SHIT!!!!!!!!

[wirsinddiejager]

WHEN YOU SAY PEOPLE ARE GETTING EATEN HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO THINK ANYTHING OTHER THAN TITANS

[drama8om8]

I love you 8ut I am judging you so hard right now.

[wirsinddiejager]

DONT FUCKING JUDGE ME IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT MY MOM GETTING EATEN THIS WHOLE WEEK SO WHEN YOU MAKE A POST LIKE THIS WHAT THE FUCK ELSE WAS I GOING T OTHINK

[drama8om8]

8h
 

 

8'm s8rry 8nd I am 8lso s8rry for 8eing a 8itch 8efore 8ut I w8s super str8ssed 8nd then th8s happ8ned and look you got an actu8l apology with th8 word "sorry" in it 8nd everyth8ng.

[wirsinddiejager]

yeah.

sorry for throwing out the mom card like that.



but seriously we need to do something about your spider mom.

[drama8om8]

I d8n't want to.
Come and see her!!!!!!!! You will see that she 8n't so 8ad. She's 8etter than my REAL mom! What with the way she remem8ers I exist and junk.

[wirsinddiejager]

yeah Im coming over. but we cant let her eat any other people. you get that right.

[drama8om8]

Just hurry up already. God.
There's a trapdoor in the 8asement 8ehind the loot pile. I left it open.

[ She's just. Going to wait right here. With her notmom who is gross and horrid and a giant burdensome liability. UGH what a pain in the ass that needs her and likes her enough to not eat her and brlrrghrhhrhh ]

action!!!

[wirsinddiejager]

[And pretty soon Alan is going to show up! He stays a good distance away to be safe from the terrifying giant spider monster, and just. Kind of stares at it. With pretty obvious disgust.]

Holy shit.

[drama8om8]

See. She's. She's cool.

[ Just going to grab Alan by the shoulders and scootle him a bit closer. LOOK IT'S MOTHER IN LAW MKII ]

NO EATING THIS ONE, MOM. MINE. YOU GET THAT, RIGHT? THIS ONE'S MINE.

[ If HiSSSVRCKRKKKKRRkk means "yep got it" then hey Alan you're 100% safe dude ]

[wirsinddiejager]

She's not cool, she's a fucking giant spider!

[NOPENOPENOPE HE DOES NOT WANT TO BE THIS CLOSE TO A GIANT THING THAT EATS PEOPLE. He's got his gear on him, sure, but he's pretty sure spiders aren't killed the same way titans are.]

you saw nothing

[waltharius]

[ Walter runs in shortly after Alan and oh dear god that... THING is 100x worse than he imagined. He gapes at it for a few seconds before his hand goes to the sword he's got strapped to his waist. ]

You guys really, really need to back up. Right now.