savetheearth

[And then he's hit with an Echo and everything gets just a little bit more horrific.]

ok no you shouldnt have tried to handle it yourself. I get that it can be hard to accept Octavia but that thing is not your mom.

VRISKA'S m8m then! N8W IS NOT THE T8ME TO 8E A PED8NTIC ASSH8LE.

wait WHAT

WHY D8 PEOPL8 KEEP S8YING TH8T

BECAUSE YOURE NOT MAKING ANY SENSE SINCE WHEN WAS VRISKAS MOM A TITAN

SHE'S NOT A TIT8N YOU STOOGE SHE IS A GI8NT PERSON-EATING SPIDER WHO LIVES IN A C8VE UNDER MY 8ASEMENT THIS IS ALL SUPER O8VIOUS SHIT!!!!!!!!

WHEN YOU SAY PEOPLE ARE GETTING EATEN HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO THINK ANYTHING OTHER THAN TITANS

I love you 8ut I am judging you so hard right now.

DONT FUCKING JUDGE ME IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT MY MOM GETTING EATEN THIS WHOLE WEEK SO WHEN YOU MAKE A POST LIKE THIS WHAT THE FUCK ELSE WAS I GOING T OTHINK

8h

8'm s8rry 8nd I am 8lso s8rry for 8eing a 8itch 8efore 8ut I w8s super str8ssed 8nd then th8s happ8ned and look you got an actu8l apology with th8 word "sorry" in it 8nd everyth8ng.

yeah.

sorry for throwing out the mom card like that.

but seriously we need to do something about your spider mom.

I d8n't want to.
Come and see her!!!!!!!! You will see that she 8n't so 8ad. She's 8etter than my REAL mom! What with the way she remem8ers I exist and junk.

yeah Im coming over. but we cant let her eat any other people. you get that right.

Just hurry up already. God.
There's a trapdoor in the 8asement 8ehind the loot pile. I left it open.

[ She's just. Going to wait right here. With her notmom who is gross and horrid and a giant burdensome liability. UGH what a pain in the ass that needs her and likes her enough to not eat her and brlrrghrhhrhh ]

[And pretty soon Alan is going to show up! He stays a good distance away to be safe from the terrifying giant spider monster, and just. Kind of stares at it. With pretty obvious disgust.]

Holy shit.

See. She's. She's cool.

[ Just going to grab Alan by the shoulders and scootle him a bit closer. LOOK IT'S MOTHER IN LAW MKII ]

NO EATING THIS ONE, MOM. MINE. YOU GET THAT, RIGHT? THIS ONE'S MINE.

[ If HiSSSVRCKRKKKKRRkk means "yep got it" then hey Alan you're 100% safe dude ]

She's not cool, she's a fucking giant spider!

[NOPENOPENOPE HE DOES NOT WANT TO BE THIS CLOSE TO A GIANT THING THAT EATS PEOPLE. He's got his gear on him, sure, but he's pretty sure spiders aren't killed the same way titans are.]

[ Walter runs in shortly after Alan and oh dear god that... THING is 100x worse than he imagined. He gapes at it for a few seconds before his hand goes to the sword he's got strapped to his waist. ]

You guys really, really need to back up. Right now.

You are both overrea--

[ Her mouth snaps shut as she registers the fact that Walter is armed. A quick glance back at Alan confirms that yeah, he is too.

HELL NAW. She backs up a few steps towards Spidermom, facing Alan and Walter to ward them off. ]

No you fucking don't.

[ Behind her, Spidermom seems to be thinking similarly. Or she's tantalised by the sight of two delicious non-daughter morsels in her lair. Either way, she lets out another series of clicks as she stretches out one of her forelegs towards the group, very carefully sweeping Octavia to one side. DON'T GET IN THE WAY, DEAR, MOM'S MAKING DINNER. ]

Walter, what-

[Like hell is he going to back up. This is serious and dangerous and oh fuck the thing's getting hungry.

This would be about the time when it occurs to Alan that even though the cavern is big, most of that space is taken up by Spidermom and he won't be able to using his gear in any effective way. Shifting is right off the table, too.

This might actually be a bit of a problem.

He fires a hook into a wall and zips out of the spider's reach and calls out to the others:

We need to get out of here!

[ Walter would've replied in favor of Alan's suggestion if not for the massive man-eating spider bearing down on the only easy and viable target left; himself.

He doesn't have a whole lot of time to react as Spidermom rushes him, sparing the effort of webbing him up and going straight for the kill. He stabs wildly at her as she approaches, getting her right though her upper jaw. It's stunned her, at least. It's also the only reason he's still breathing.

Of course, this doesn't completely stop their momentum and he's slammed into the opposite wall, pinned by an angry (and slightly shishkabobed) arachnid. He pushes as hard as he can while she's stunned, creating enough space to wiggle free before pulling his sword loose. ]

I'm -- I'm okay, just -- let's go!!

[ And he bolts for the exit. ]

Oh my god stop it! Stop!

[ Octavia is officially Not Pleased about any of this. She isn't even sure who exactly she's yelling at. All she knows is that everything is going downhill faster than Sonic the fucking Hedgehog in the olympic downhill roller skating championships.

God I'm incredible at wordsmithery.

This whole thing is far too complicated. It isn't that she loves Spidermom, exactly. She doesn't even like her. She certainly doesn't want this huge stressful murderous living burden hiding under her house. All things considered, she should be leaping at the chance to get the fuck rid of it.

Unfortunately, there are lingering traces of the instinct that if she lets Spidermom die, bad things will happen. Being swept out of harm's way doesn't help, either - see, the spider does love her and need her! So instead of absconding, she flies towards Spidermom to try and help.

Spidermom, on the other hand, unleashes a roar that is probably spiderese for "fuck this I'm outtie" and attempts to scuttle backwards. She can only take a single step before bumping against the back of the cavern, and the impact causes a little debris to fall from the ceiling.

Wow that hole sure is getting wider surely nothing bad can come from this. ]

Fuck, fuck fuck fuck!

[This is bad. This is really, really bad.

Alan's heading for the exit right along with Walter, but he hangs back because Octavia what are you doing.]

Octavia, come on! You've gotta get out of here!

[That hole sure is getting wider, making one thing very obvious to Alan.

The spider can't be allowed to leave.]

[ Walter stops too. He's not leaving until he's sure they're coming right behind him.

Except turning around reveals the beginnings of a potentially huge problem. That thing is going to get out if that hole gets much wider. ]

We...

[ He glances at Octavia, because he knows she's not going to like this, but focuses on Alan in the end. Because he's the only one being reasonable.

Which is SCARY. ]

We might have to k-kill it in here. Quickly.

[ The boys aren't the only ones who've noticed the hole widening. All eight of Spidermom's gross hideous awful eyes FUCK SPIDERS YOU GUYS GHRGHRGHG are focused on it - for now, it's even more tempting of a prospect than the two heavily-armed snacks/humans are.

She lets out another of her terrifying-ass hissy noises, shifts around as best as she can and proceeds to ram the hell out of the cavern wall with her head. It isn't the wisest move on her part, since she recently had a fucking sword shoved into the roof of her mouth, but it *does* result in a rather large chunk of rock coming loose from the hole. The hole isn't quite big enough for Spidermom to get out of just yet, but it's large enough for her to begin climbing the wall to get to it.

Meanwhile, Octavia is so wracked by internal conflict that she doesn't notice the huge piece of rock falling from the ceiling. Even though she's right in its path. Which means that she just hit death #6! YAAAAAAAAY. ]

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