savetheearth | ( two ) text / video

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( two ) text / video

[ Given how much FBI and police blood, sweat, and (mostly) tears went into quelling the vermini outbreak in Locke City, similarly suspicious occurrences in Las Vegas are bound to inflame a few fears, even all the way in New Jersey.

It's how this YouTube video ends up sliding across the FBI's desks this Tuesday morning, not 12 hours after it was filmed and put up. It will probably be going viral shortly. ]

Two very important public service announcements this morning. The first, for those of you in Vegas, is this video.

CW: bunny violence.

[ The following is a shaky phone cam video of a blonde man in a top hat and a glittering, sequined tuxedo. He’s mid-patter, about to set up a card trick, when he suddenly starts to sneeze. He apologizes and tries to blow his nose, except his handkerchiefs keep turning into doves and flying away. Finally, with a look of dawning realization, he sweeps off his top hat (first tipping it to the audience, demonstrating that it’s empty) and theatrically reaches into it.

“Why, it’s as I suspected! You see, I’m terrrrrribly allergic to — AAAAAAAA!”

He yanks his hand out of the hat, hurling it to the ground. Something white flies out of it and attaches itself to the man’s throat, bowling him over. There’s blood everywhere, the man is still shrieking, and at this point the video gets too shaky to see clearly, one hopes because the particular audience member doing the filming is too horrified to continue, but actually it’s because he (along with the rest of the crowd) is laughing too hard. ]

I know the cops aren't exactly our favorites around here, but if you end up running into something you don't think you can handle, call the police. Or animal control or... I dunno, somebody with a net. Personal safety first, secure your own mask before helping others with theirs, etc. etc.

Second public service announcement: be kind to our fluffy animal friends, because they have feelings, too. And also teeth.

[ THAT ONE'S FOR YOU, ALEX I-DON'T-NEED-FLUFFY-DUCKS MERCURE. ]

Oh, and our good friend Mr. Mercure is mostly fine, before you ask. Turns out everything's more dramatic in Vegas.

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[ Somebody's having trouble texting ]

You... you... !!!

YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO LINK THAT!!!!

[ There's nothing wrong with Mr. Mercure's lungs. ]

But how's the bunny?

I am very glad that everyone has emerged from the incident unscathed! If such a thing occurs again to anyone, I would recommend the snapping of the necks if they cannot find a more peaceful solution. It is very quick and they do not feel a thing!

[and this is that moment where everyone remembers that Kara grew up on a farm...]

[Oh dear.

Come on, Claire, don't laugh. You're Alex's friend, remember? He doesn't need you laughing at him. So don't do it.

Don't laugh. Don't laugh. Don't-]

Pfff... ff... ahahaha!

[...He tried, bro.]

Okay. That thing is a killer.

[He had to.]

Monty Python aside that's unsettling.

[Since he watched a video, he'll just reply with one. Lloyd seems to be an odd mix of shocked and confused.]

So...the CW has a show called "Bunny Violence"? The sure put weird stuff on TV sometimes.

...noted.

That said, we're trying to be safe. We even caught one of the Vermini for Dr. Solus, and our group's trying to work in a buddy system when we can to keep safe.

[well at least one person believes Alex about what really happened with the rabbit]

Hey--before the rabbit went back to normal, did you notice anything around her like a little black dandelion puff?

And you're both okay, right? Did anybody get hurt?

You know, some of us have actually fought those things before and know what to do with them.

Vermini. Small, black animals, spherical shape. Infest other animals, give them human-like traits, violent natures. One of first enemies of network members.

[ You're already used to hearing this voice yelling at you by now. ]

Can't you just explain this instead of linking such a disturbing video?! There are kids on the network, you idiot.

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Voice

Voice - Asking the important questions

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