savetheearth | ( two ) text / video

[ Given how much FBI and police blood, sweat, and (mostly) tears went into quelling the vermini outbreak in Locke City, similarly suspicious occurrences in Las Vegas are bound to inflame a few fears, even all the way in New Jersey.

It's how this YouTube video ends up sliding across the FBI's desks this Tuesday morning, not 12 hours after it was filmed and put up. It will probably be going viral shortly. ]

Two very important public service announcements this morning. The first, for those of you in Vegas, is this video.

CW: bunny violence.

[ The following is a shaky phone cam video of a blonde man in a top hat and a glittering, sequined tuxedo. He’s mid-patter, about to set up a card trick, when he suddenly starts to sneeze. He apologizes and tries to blow his nose, except his handkerchiefs keep turning into doves and flying away. Finally, with a look of dawning realization, he sweeps off his top hat (first tipping it to the audience, demonstrating that it’s empty) and theatrically reaches into it.

“Why, it’s as I suspected! You see, I’m terrrrrribly allergic to — AAAAAAAA!”

He yanks his hand out of the hat, hurling it to the ground. Something white flies out of it and attaches itself to the man’s throat, bowling him over. There’s blood everywhere, the man is still shrieking, and at this point the video gets too shaky to see clearly, one hopes because the particular audience member doing the filming is too horrified to continue, but actually it’s because he (along with the rest of the crowd) is laughing too hard. ]

I know the cops aren't exactly our favorites around here, but if you end up running into something you don't think you can handle, call the police. Or animal control or... I dunno, somebody with a net. Personal safety first, secure your own mask before helping others with theirs, etc. etc.

Second public service announcement: be kind to our fluffy animal friends, because they have feelings, too. And also teeth.

[ THAT ONE'S FOR YOU, ALEX I-DON'T-NEED-FLUFFY-DUCKS MERCURE. ]

Oh, and our good friend Mr. Mercure is mostly fine, before you ask. Turns out everything's more dramatic in Vegas.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

But how's the bunny?

Oh, she's —

[ WAIT ]

Why're you asking about her?

Why wouldn't I? Most people would worry about the bunny.

You're okay too, right?

Okay? I am most certainly not okay! She bit me! She bit my hand! How am I supposed to do sleight-of-hand like this?

Those things happen when you work with animals. It's part of the job. If you don't want to get hurt, you might want to invest in a plush rabbit instead.

I'm sure that your hand will be fine in a couple of days. You didn't need stitches, did you?

What?? Let me tell you, I have been working with Flopsy for years, and she doesn't bite people, least of all me! And she definitely does not sprout human teeth and leap from the floor and attack people!

What?

[Obviously, Misato missed something in the video.]

Edited (i need to get better about updating my subjects) 2014-05-20 17:15 (UTC)

....it got better. Nobody believed me when I tried to tell them.

But it definitely happened, that rabbit was possessed!

Did you take him to the vet or something? Maybe Flopsy's not feeling well.

[Still doesn't explain the human teeth Alexander's claiming to have seen, though.]

Yes, because a veterinarian is going to be able to diagnose and treat something like this. Anyway, I know she was possessed, because I saw these little.... little things coming out of her. Little creatures.

Edited 2014-05-20 20:10 (UTC)

[Oooookay.]

Don't take offense at this or anything, but have you thought about seeing a doctor yourself? All this might be the byproduct of exhaustion or stress.

Voice

squicksilver - 2014-05-21 00:08 (UTC) - Expand

imbibing - 2014-05-21 16:43 (UTC) - Expand

squicksilver - 2014-05-22 03:07 (UTC) - Expand

imbibing - 2014-05-23 17:29 (UTC) - Expand

squicksilver - 2014-05-25 17:25 (UTC) - Expand

imbibing - 2014-05-27 20:06 (UTC) - Expand

squicksilver - 2014-05-30 06:41 (UTC) - Expand

imbibing - 2014-05-30 17:02 (UTC) - Expand

I'm afraid I didn't manage to get in contact with the esteemed rabbit.

I'm so worried!

I hope they're okay. It must be hard working in show biz.

It certainly seems that way! Underpaid, few days off, and with a boss who doesn't appreciate your work at all...

[ A dramatic sigh ]

It's just awful, isn't it?

Sounds like it. I'd offer to take him in if Mr. Grumpypants over there decided he couldn't handle the stress of live animals anymore, but I think I have my hands full with Pen 2.

Edited (i can update my subjects) 2014-05-20 17:15 (UTC)

You never know - maybe Pen 2 wouldn't mind a friend for company!

Though... if you're worried about time and energy, I could always take care of the rabbit-adopting and we can settle for giving them playdates.

[ Maybe he just wants to adopt a rabbit, maybe that's what all of this is secretly about. ]

I'm not sure about him, but I sure wouldn't mind having a bunny around.

It'd give me an excuse to go over to your place, too.

[Don't encourage him, Misato.]

Edited 2014-05-20 17:22 (UTC)

What??? No! Nobody is taking my bunny — or getting a date out of it!

We were just worried you might be too traumatized to take care of Flopsy anymore.

[He can't see it, but she's nodding sagely.]

We have everyone's best interests at heart!

[ He is also nodding sagely. ]

No, you don't! You're all just having a laugh at my expense!

But... I thought getting laughed at is basically what magicians do for a living.

squicksilver - 2014-05-20 20:12 (UTC) - Expand

featherduster - 2014-05-21 02:55 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

squicksilver - 2014-05-21 03:26 (UTC) - Expand

[ DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM, MISATO ]

What?!

You don't need an excuse for that!

Next week, then. I've been wanting to check out your apartment, anyway!

You got it!

[ ☆ SCORE ☆ ]

It's pretty sparse and bunny-free at the moment, though, so don't be let down.

imbibing - 2014-05-20 19:57 (UTC) - Expand

featherduster - 2014-05-20 20:17 (UTC) - Expand

imbibing - 2014-05-20 20:32 (UTC) - Expand

featherduster - 2014-05-21 03:00 (UTC) - Expand

squicksilver - 2014-05-21 03:23 (UTC) - Expand

featherduster - 2014-05-22 01:12 (UTC) - Expand

squicksilver - 2014-05-22 03:08 (UTC) - Expand

> Video

featherduster - 2014-05-25 04:17 (UTC) - Expand

imbibing - 2014-05-21 16:45 (UTC) - Expand

featherduster - 2014-05-22 01:14 (UTC) - Expand

featherduster - 2014-05-27 03:13 (UTC) - Expand

imbibing - 2014-05-27 20:07 (UTC) - Expand

Voice - Asking the important questions

no subject

Voice

Voice

Voice

Voice

Voice

Voice

Voice

Voice

Voice

Voice - g o o d

Voice

Voice

Voice

Voice

Voice

Voice

Voice

Voice

Voice

Voice

Voice

Voice

Voice