2nd ♒ Video+Text

[yerawizarderi]

[The feed turns on, and it certainly is the resident hipster in view. He's sitting at a desk of some sort, and behind him looks like a bedroom. Probably his. Ignore the Harry Potter-like paraphernalia or whatever closest analogue to that it would be.]

So.

[Brilliant start. He rests his chin on the back of his hand, his elbow resting against the surface of the desk as he stares into the feed. There's a slight upward curl of his lips.]

In light a the grim news that seems to be happenin' recently on this network, I figured you lot needed a quick change a pace. Maybe, you need to find yourself at a do. Some right social gatherin' a sorts, you see the most important day a the year is upon us, which likely none of you knew about.

[He waves his other hand dismissively.]

Ain't no one gonna fault you for that though. Comin' the thirteenth it's my birthday, and I figure why not kill two birds with one bleedin' stone? I'm gonna be throwin' one hell of a soiree AND I would like to get myself acquainted further with my fellow numbers club members. Brill, ain't it?

You won't want to miss this shit, and I've even been so generous to celebrate it on the fifteenth for all you people who work weekday jobs or have school and suchlike. Those a your work work weekend jobs better ask off. I'm givin' you over a week to do so. Besides, the fourthteenth I'm sure we'll all be busy anyway. I know I will be.

[No he won't.]

ANY-FUCKIN'-WAY, check the text document attached below for more deets on the whole thing. As I said, you won't want to miss this, an' if you do, well you're be left regrettin' it for the rest a your miserable life. Honestly.

[A pause as he reaches to turn off the feed, his hands stopping.]

Oh, and don't forget to bring me somethin' nice.

[Aaaand with that, he cuts the feed, and attaches the text document below:]


~Ampora Birthday Soiree Deets~

WHO

YOU, unless you're on the uninvited list, see below

WHAT

A fucking amazing party, don't you dare miss it. Also don't forget any swimwear, we have a indoor pool

WHEN

February 15th 5pm-whenever

WHERE
[ENTER ADDRESS HERE]

WHY

My fucking birthday and a general means to get socialized with my fellow numbers club members.

HOW

By getting off your lazy asses and showing up. Also, I ain't expecting this to be no FORMAL event, but try not to look like trash. We won't be welcoming some dirty looking vagrants into our home.

UNINVITED

Octavia Serket, her slack-jawed knuckle dragging boyfriend, clowns


[Look at that, when he's trying to be informative, he can type with proper grammar. That private school he's going to isn't for nothing! Amazing.]

Comments

[drama8om8]

Oh, right. Right!
You have what. Your dad? And some guy who can't get a d8 without trawling the network for one?
Man. That IS impressive. I have 8een so incredi8ly schooled today.
Schooled and 8elittled anD 8H MY G8D I DO N8T HAVE HERPES WH8T THE FUCK IS Y8UR DE8L.

[yerawizarderi]

for your information ive had plenty of suitors
and just because i gave a guy a chance who was askin around on the network dont say anythin about my previous romantic escapades
also i have plenty of notice by schools around the country and businesses too for my academic success im my fathers protege
my you certainly are defensive over somethin you apparently dont have? makes it awful suspicious
almost like youre coverin up that you DO have it

[drama8om8]

 

 

 

W8, putting aside all your weird accus8tions and "I want to 8e my daddy when I grow up" shit.
if you've had ~*~*plenty of suitors*~*~ doesn't that mean YOU'RE the whore?

[yerawizarderi]

im a guy
its different

[drama8om8]

[ RLY. Then surely the best counter to whoreccusations is... ]

 

 

Oh my god I 8et you're a fucking VIRGIN.

[yerawizarderi]

[nKSfhkdjsvkdj]

WOW
NO

[drama8om8]

Called it.
Fucking called it!
VVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGIIIIIIIINNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!

[yerawizarderi]

[God fucking damnit]

i am fuckin NOT
but its pointless to argue this with you cuz you wont believe anythin i say for the sake of wantin to believe youve afforded yourself some advantage over me
piss off

[drama8om8]

NOW who's defensive????????
Don't worry, dude! I am sure you could PAY some8ody to sleep with you. Is that why you are so insistent on calling me a hooker? 8ecause you're looking to 8uy?
8ecause sorry, dude, 8ut there 8n't enough cash in the WORLD to make me go near you. Holy shit! ::::D

[yerawizarderi]

i aint defensive
and if i were lookin to slum around it wouldnt be with you
besides sleepin with you would be as satisfactory as wavin my dick in the open air so youre not even WORTH what money anyone WOULD spend on you
that is IF anyone was NEARLY that fuckin desperate in the first place
which i aint because im NOT A VIRGIN

[drama8om8]

There 8n't no shame in 8eing your virginly self, ok!
It is totally fine. EVERY8ODY is a virgin at SOME point. 8uck up, little 8uddy! ::::)
Emphasis on the little. 8ecause Eri Junior must 8e SUPER diminutive if 8oinking me would 8e like THAT!
Wow. Might want to keep that one a secret. May8e look into some kind of corrective surgery what with you having all that cash?

[yerawizarderi]

HA WOW no fuck you
go figure a whore would sit there and wonder about the size of my dick
also dont call it eri junior thats fuckin weird
the only reasonin fuckin you would be like that is because youre fosterin the grand fuckin canyon between your knees and you know it
im sure EVERYONE knows it

[drama8om8]

My vag is 8etween my THIGHS, not my knees. Classic virgin mistake!
And just fyi YOU 8rought up genitalia sizes first. Which I guess is indic8tive of how much time you spend contempl8ting them?
Which either adds to the pile of virgin evidence OR demonstr8s an unhealthy o8session with my girlplace.
Gross!

[yerawizarderi]

its an expression stupid but i guess someone who cant afford a proper education cant be blamed for their stupidity
its not somethin i contemplate its just somethin that coincides with bein a whore
its like fish and water they just go together naturally and without you havin to think about it because its a natural constant
like your massive "girl place" and bein a dirty tramp
its common sense

[drama8om8]

Siiiiiiiigh. You and your virgin logic!
So innocent. SO misguided.
8oinking one person ever =/= 8eing a dirty tramp!
8ut I guess me doing one guy must seem like a WORLD of experience when compared to you. So I will forgive you! Aww. ::::)

[yerawizarderi]

yeah because im sure its been one guy EVER
bullshit i know your type
you probably got like five dudes on the side dont even lie

[drama8om8]

My type?
You know a LOT of fairy Jesus girls????????
I would have to 8e HELLS of sneaky to have any8ody on the side just fyi since me and Alan are in hiding together and 8asically around each other almost all the time.

[yerawizarderi]

no
loudmouth skanks who think theyre hotter shit than they are
how hard could it HONESTLY be to trick a retard
honestly you could probably fuck a dude on his back and hed be none the wiser with his stellar intellect

[drama8om8]

HE IS SM8RT OK8Y. And I don't WANT to trick Alan or 8ang other dudes! Duh.
He keeps me happy all 8y himself! Or w8. Is that what you were fishing for here?
You want the deets? To compens8 for your own deplora8le lack of 8oinkage in your life?
Get your fap material ELSEWHERE. WOW.

[yerawizarderi]

wow you really want me to think of you as sexually appealin dont you
kinda fuckin sad tbh
look i have NO interest in gettin details about how a whore and retard get down like theyre growin an extra chromosome ok
though im sure alan has enough extra chromosomes for everyone on the network

[drama8om8]

Yes. Yes I do. I am DESPER8 for you to 8e all up in my metaphorical grill.
8ecause I want you SO 8AD, oh virginliest of virgins! Unf. Who could possi8ly resist you????????
8ut alas. I am just a whore! An ugly whore, I guess? Which kind of 8egs questions a8out how the fuck I allagedly get so much 8usiness when I am so hideous, 8ut what can I say.
It is a mystery! A mystery that only Lord Virgin can uncover.

[yerawizarderi]

I AM NOT A FUCKIN VIRGIN
FUCK OFF!!!!!

[drama8om8]

Now, now.
No using the F word until you've actually DONE it! ::::)

[yerawizarderi]

I HAVE YOU TWAT

[drama8om8]

You can't lose your virginity to your own hand, Eri.