text; shakily handwritten on one of those hotel notepads with a leaky pen

[moreweaponsthanyou]

first thing first, what's the date and time?

SECOND: THIS IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: IF YOU SEE AN ODD LOOKING MACHINE WITH A STRANGE GLOWING SYMBOL AND LOTS OF INVITING BUTTONS DO NOT GIVE IN TO THE URGE TO TOUCH SAID MACHINE. IT WILL BE TRAUMATIZING.

so much trauma. and near death by drowning.

BEFORE I FORGET SOMEONE NEEDS TO CALL THE COPS; THERE'S A DEAD BODY IN THE POOL. damnit i think i recognize that face too. it's the guy who was screaming about cultists getting him a couple days ago.

thunder corp owes me a new phone, pretty sure mine is dead. ALSO BY DROWNING.

Comments

[umbrael]

Sounds like an ordinary morning in vegas tbh

[Ha ha but okay this is ten kinds of Not Good going on here. And boy oh boy oh boy, is Doyle ever tempted to rag on this guy for pushing buttons he didn't understand, but uh, he's pretty sure this guy is also possibly hooking him up with a giant nail file or some other solution to his typing/computer use woes, so maybe not.]

OK so that guy is dead, are you hurt at all?

[moreweaponsthanyou]

I've been to Vegas before. There was drinking, shows and gambling involved, nothing to do with dead bodies and strange teleporting machines.

...except for possible mental trauma, I'm fine.

[umbrael]

Idunno man thats probably not the first body found in a pool this week out there

[He writes, as if marathoning CSI one summer made him the expert.]

Hey that's good at least! You teleported in one piece, good for you, you're alive!

[You need that nail file, Doyle. You need that nail file. You probably need that nail file. You really probably need that nail file. You-]

btw why the HELL would you touch a weird thundercorp machine???

[-oops.]

loling

[moreweaponsthanyou]

I haven't been paying attention to the news for the last month or so. So dunno.

[Fil is groaning. Not even back in Locke yet and people are side-eying him for the stupid machine.]

That sounds sarcastic even on paper.

And I touched it because I was curious alright! And I didn't think anything would happen. [headdesking]

[umbrael]

oh I assure you it wasn't sarcastic I'm honestly glad we've only lost one network person instead of two.


the second part wasn't though ffs doesn't ANYONE play video games or watch literally any other kind of media I know there's like a hundred examples out there where 'touching strange button or thing = SOMETHING BAD' so come ON

even without pop culture to educate you on that WHY would you touch STOLEN THUNDERCORP STUFF WITHOUT SOME KIND OF PLAN???

[moreweaponsthanyou]

This is real life, not some sort of video game or movie, ffs. I was maybe expecting it to be like some sort of computer. Who the hell knew teleportation devices were even a THING?

I SAID I WAS JUST CURIOUS OKAY! GEEZ!

[umbrael]

And yet, you are talking to a dinosaur over a ~magic~ network from the other side of the country.

Either way it came from the company that hates us and had things that TARGETED US in the past like what was your plan??

I'm pretty sure they've got a phrase about that, 'curiosity somethinged the cat', how'd it go again?

[Boy I bet Fil is real glad that he and the other people in Doyle's last post helped him get better at typing!]

[moreweaponsthanyou]

You didn't START off as a dinosaur. And magic is just science we haven't discovered yet!

I already admitted we have no plan, what else do you want?

It's 'killed the cat'. And the full phrase is 'curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back.' At least use it correctly!

i knew i was missing a comment somewhere

[umbrael]

[Well hello, thing Doyle doesn't want to acknowledge, remember, or think about too hard. So we're just going to pass over that first comment entirely.]

'We'? Oh no, don't tell me someone WATCHED you do this.

I guess satisfaciton really DID bring you back this time, but I think the first half stands fine on its own sometimes. Like, for example, when monkeying with weird tech from shadyy companies that hate us.

it's okay

[moreweaponsthanyou]

Not the only one that touched machine, just the first. [Yes, someone went in after he did.]

BUT IT DIDN'T HAPPEN! I'M ALIVE!

[umbrael]

[Well good at least it's just independently stupid people instead of a team effort. Still, though, this isn't a good day for his opinions of the people he shares this network with.]

Okay I was worried for a moment but good to know you were acting alone. And... so was whoever followed you. After you disappeared when you touched it.

[... This network.]

And yes! You are alive! This time! But maybe the next time you see a shiny button, at least put a stick between it and yourself.

[It might be a little belated, but it occurs to Doyle he should reel it in a little. That and, speaking of sticks, he feels like he's beating a dead horse a little bit. ... and, he might still need that nail file.]

[moreweaponsthanyou]

Hey, you can't blame me for the stupidity of others!

[Fil will gladly take responsibility for his own shit but not anyone else's.

Nobody ever claimed they were all sane anyway.]

I'm going to concentrate on the fact I'm alive and ignore everything else for a bit. [He's really had it with the lectures about safety.]

[umbrael]

Oh, I'm not, don't worry. It's not your fault, you gave them a perfectly good example to work from and they ignored it.

Just don't ignore it when it counts.

[Just can't resist getting that last word in.]

[moreweaponsthanyou]

I'm not listening!