text;

[drama8om8]

Oh my g8d mom 8te my stepdad

[ This text is appended with another one, just minutes later: ]

8nd may8e a journ8list too I found a c8mera

Comments

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[dirtdevil]

you two aren't out getting wasted again, are you?

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[drama8om8]

That happened like ONE TIME!
W8 no twice. JUST TWICE! Or three times if you count that one time at Jess from drama clu8's sweet sixteen party when I drank way too many daiquiris and made out with a 8ean8ag chair.
8ut that was 8efore I even knew Alan 8eyond him 8eing that one loud kid who helped with the sets for like a month anyway so it doesn't count!

8ut anyway no I am super so8er right now and also my past life mom just totally 8te my current life stepdad and I am not sure if this makes me a murderer or not do you know a gremlin lawyer.

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[dirtdevil]

wow thanks but i didn't ask about your sordid past relationships with furniture

your mom ate your stepdad. explain.

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[drama8om8]

MY mom didn't eat him. My past life mom did!
She is a giant man-eating spider. And my stepdad was a man, I guess. A kind of fat old one.
So she did what she does 8est and 8te him! HOW IS THIS HARD TO UNDERSTAND.

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[dirtdevil]

okay, whoa, back that shit up.

your mom was a fucking spider?

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[drama8om8]

Yes. Past life adoptive mom was a giant-ass white spider and you know what 8r8 I'll just fucking show you.

[ And after some fiddling around, she shows Spidermom on video. She's bright white, fucking enormous and completely hideous in every fucking way. Even by spider standards. Fuck spiders. FUCK. SPIDERS.

She also has a smear of blood on her mandibles and is making raspy clicking noises. Lovely. ]

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[dirtdevil]

burn

it





burn your house down. it's the only way.