[Voice]

[espigeonage]

[Julien is being so careful to keep his voice light, but someone sensitive might pick up the sheathed edge. He's irritated.]

Okay, I hate asking this, but can I completely take over anyone's hot tub or like... small pool? Something not chlorinated. Or would help me set up and fill one of those largish inflatable pools on their property somewhere.

[Pause. Yeah, he probably should provide a reason.]

It looks like I'm molting. It's - annoying.

Comments

[sylvanguard]

[She keeps going with his feathers, marveling silently at his ability to sleep standing up. Since she has never owned a bird, it does not occur to her that this is a thing they can do. Instead, she kind of wonders if he is okay, given his temperature and molting and all.]

You okay Julien?

[She asks softly, her voice barely a whisper, in case he really was asleep.]

[espigeonage]

[He's dozing, really. Closer to spacing out than unconsciousness, his wings drooping. When she says something his outer eyelids open part way, transparent inner lids still sealed.]

Mm?

[sylvanguard]

[She bites her lip, stopping the grooming of his feathers.] Do you want to lie down, you look like you're falling asleep sitting up.

[espigeonage]

[He opens more eyelids and blinks. After a second he frowns. Julien sleeps very lightly.]

Oh. Wow, I guess I was falling asleep... it's been happening like that. I don't need to lie down anymore - or, well, at night it's better if I do, but if it's a nap I don't have to. Weird thing.

[Swaths of his skin still itch, he's tired, he does not wish to be around lots of people, but Julien feels better for food and some preening.]

Didn't mean to do that now, though. Sorry.

[sylvanguard]

It looked like you were really relaxed. Sorry I stopped, I was just worried about you uh, falling over.

[espigeonage]

[He yawns and seems surprised by it, blinking inner eyelids.]

Nah, it's okay. No idea if I'd fall over. [Sitting on his stool he doesn't seem so big, though the folded wings and bent legs and the tail behind him take up a certain amount of space.] I just... I dunno. I like being around people I know.

[sylvanguard]

[She smiles softly.] I'm not surprised both humans and birds are social animals. It only makes sense you feel more relaxed with someone around.

[espigeonage]

I'm not a bird... [His shoulders slump.] I never wanted any of this.

[sylvanguard]

[To which she gives him a hug by way of apology.] I didn't mean it like that...

[espigeonage]

I know, but... [Julien doesn't want to make an accusation and start to drive her away. He leans into Ariel, trying to let her proximity drive off the unhappiness he's always trying to dodge.] I know.

[sylvanguard]

[she gives him a gentle squeeze while hugging him.]

It's not something you like to hear or want to talk about. I'll try not to bring it up again.

[espigeonage]

[Julien's voice is generated and shaped down in his chest, which moves more as he breathes than it would if he was more human. His body resonates like a large speaker.]

Yeah... thanks.

[Carefully he tries to get a wing around her.]

I'm tired of things getting worse.

[sylvanguard]

[It was weird hearing him speak from his chest, but that was the last thing she was going to say right now. Especially just upsetting him.]

You know I sometimes say stuff without thinking. Working on not doing it though.

[espigeonage]

I know. I know, and I appreciate that.

[He holds his lower lip with those keratinous not-teeth and bites back confessions at the same time. Julien is so scared much of the time, and lonely, and he hates what he's becoming.]

This is so hard. All of it. Not just for me.

[sylvanguard]

[She had enough time just with her ears, let alone any other physical changes, so she can only imagine what he is going through with him sprouting feathers.]

I wish I could help you to handle this better. I don't like seeing you suffering. Do you want some Athelas maybe? [She remembered that he kept some around.]

[espigeonage]

[Julien's mood has plummeted, a much faster swing than he's used to. Molting isn't good for his temperament. He swallows before responding.]

Sure... just pick what you want.

[There's an overgrown tub of the plant - one plant, absolutely thriving under a grow lamp with its roots tangled in a tank of nutrient water - against one of the walls. It looks like it could take over the apartment.]

[sylvanguard]

[She delicately leaves his hug, careful of his wings and makes her way over to the huge plant. It takes her a few minutes to get a decent clipping, but she comes back holding the sprig and feeling somewhat triumphant.]

Anything special I should do to it or just give it to you as is?

[espigeonage]

[Julien draws his knees up and grips the rungs of the stool with his big clawed toes, folding his wings tightly against himself as if chilled.]

Uh... if you can put the kettle on, it makes good tea. It's on the stove top - mugs in that cabinet, there.

[He hadn't really taken athelas this morning, just bruised some leaves and smelled them.]

[sylvanguard]

[She follows as indicated, getting water and putting a kettle on, and the getting out a mug to make tea. As she prepares the cup, she can't help but sniff the plant.]

I don't know if it's from my memories before or if it's a now sort of thing, but the smell of this plant... it's comforting and yet I keep feeling like there is something I'm missing every time I smell it. I don't know. It's hard to describe.

[espigeonage]

[While her back is turned Julien raises his wrist to his mouth and pulls out a loose and wiggling feather, wincing as it stings. He spits it out, considers chewing on some of the godawful flaking bloodfeathers to make them stop itching, and does not, repulsed.]

Umm. Yeah, I don't know... I don't think I've ever felt that.

[sylvanguard]

[She turns to face him, still waiting for the kettle to boil.] I don't know how to describe it really. It's not like I should remember anything, but it just feels like what I do remember is just cut up...

[There is a soft sigh and a shrug.] I'll stop rambling. You've enough to worry about without me rambling on.

[espigeonage]

Oh. Well that, that's common. There's a lot we don't know. Lots of holes in the memories.

[For a moment Julien closes his eyes.] It's okay.