Ravindra Savarna (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
healspec) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
savetheearth2013-12-02 02:28 pm
healspec) wrote in savetheearth2013-12-02 02:28 pm
Entry tags:
- !open,
- #action,
- #network,
- baccano!: isaac and miria,
- digital devil saga: avatar tuner: gale,
- grimm: nick burkhardt,
- hatoful boyfriend: yuuya sakazaki,
- league of legends: lux crownguard,
- my little pony: rarity,
- original: ravindra savarna,
- parasol protectorate: randolph lyall,
- tales of symphonia: kratos aurion,
- tiger and bunny: barnaby brooks jr,
- tiger and bunny: kotetsu t. kaburagi,
- yu-gi-oh!: bakura ryou
[Action/Handwritten]
[OOC: warning for anxiety-induced self-pity spirals, if you don't find that kind of threading rewarding you should probably move on.]
[Action; LCU Hospital]
[Monday is Ravi's first night back at work since heading out of town for Thanksgiving. Just like every shift since they admitted that cop who was shot in the drug bust, he goes over to ICU before his shift to ask the nurses how that patient's doing.]
[Usually, they tell him critical but stable. Tonight, they tell him Officer Wisniewski died Wednesday morning, right before Ravi left town for the holiday weekend.]
[It hits him harder than he expected. He thanks the nurses, walks back down to ER, clocks in, and tries to get through his shift. He can't. All he can think about is how he could have done something. He can heal people. It works. He's done it plenty of times before. Maybe he couldn't have repaired all the damage, but he could've given the man a fighting chance instead of leaving it in the hands of modern medicine.]
[but he didn't. he didn't do anything outside his RN scope of practice. because the university grounds--hospital included--are crawling with cops, and he didn't want to risk outing himself.]
[and now a man is dead, and it's his fault for not wanting to risk his own life.]
[that goes against everything he has ever learned as a medic and as a nurse. even in Baghdad he risked his own life multiple times to save others. he has run out into the line of fire to drag wounded comrades to safety. he has had to patch people up while being shot at. and he let a stupid thing like police presence keep him from doing everything in his power to save a patient?]
[Having magical healing abilities sounds great until you realize you can't use them when they're most needed.]
[It isn't long before the charge nurse notices he's not doing so hot and asks what's wrong. He can't explain why, stammers out something about being more affected by a patient's death than he thought he would be, she asks if he can make it through his shift and all he can say is he'll try.]
[He does try, but he's so unfocused and emotionally preoccupied and wasting so much energy on trying to pretend he's okay that he's next to useless. He can tell he's heading for a full-blown anxiety attack, but it's not until the charge nurse tells him to go home, she's called someone in to cover for him, that it finally hits.]
[He can't drive home like this. He clocks out and heads to the breakroom, which is not frequently trafficked in the ER, and curls up in the corner of the couch, hugging his knees to his chest. The plan is to ride out the anxiety until he's okay to drive, but being alone with his own brain is not helping. It just keeps playing back all the opportunities he had to intervene with magic, pointing out everything he did wrong and how this death is his fault. He hasn't felt like this since that first time a patient died on him in the line of duty. It's not something he ever wanted to relive.]
[He needs to talk to someone, he decides. He gets up just long enough to scrounge up a notepad from elsewhere in the room and returns to the couch.]
[Network public; Handwritten; Monday night around 10~11PM]
[ballpoint pen on lined paper; the handwriting is angular, but loose and sloppy. it's obviously written in a rush, but it's still pretty legible.]
Officer Wisniewski died in ICU on Wednesday. Lilian told me today when I came in.
I was there when the EMTs brought him in. I ran his IV, I did his charts. I could have healed him. I could have healed him and I didn't because I didn't want anyone to find out, I didn't want to be arrested for trying to save someone. He was here for a week and I didn't do anything, I even could have snuck into ICU and healed him but I didn't.
I let him die. I let a man die because I didn't want to be caught and if I want to keep hidden I'm going to have to let other patients die too.
I can't do this again. I am in this job because I want to save people. I don't know what to do.
[notes: Officer Mike Wisniewski is the NPC cop who was shot in the same drug bust Angela was 'killed' in. It's been in the news.]
[Anyone with an excuse to be there is welcome to approach Ravi in the ER breakroom for an action thread. All non-action responses will be handwritten unless otherwise stated.]
[Action; LCU Hospital]
[Monday is Ravi's first night back at work since heading out of town for Thanksgiving. Just like every shift since they admitted that cop who was shot in the drug bust, he goes over to ICU before his shift to ask the nurses how that patient's doing.]
[Usually, they tell him critical but stable. Tonight, they tell him Officer Wisniewski died Wednesday morning, right before Ravi left town for the holiday weekend.]
[It hits him harder than he expected. He thanks the nurses, walks back down to ER, clocks in, and tries to get through his shift. He can't. All he can think about is how he could have done something. He can heal people. It works. He's done it plenty of times before. Maybe he couldn't have repaired all the damage, but he could've given the man a fighting chance instead of leaving it in the hands of modern medicine.]
[but he didn't. he didn't do anything outside his RN scope of practice. because the university grounds--hospital included--are crawling with cops, and he didn't want to risk outing himself.]
[and now a man is dead, and it's his fault for not wanting to risk his own life.]
[that goes against everything he has ever learned as a medic and as a nurse. even in Baghdad he risked his own life multiple times to save others. he has run out into the line of fire to drag wounded comrades to safety. he has had to patch people up while being shot at. and he let a stupid thing like police presence keep him from doing everything in his power to save a patient?]
[Having magical healing abilities sounds great until you realize you can't use them when they're most needed.]
[It isn't long before the charge nurse notices he's not doing so hot and asks what's wrong. He can't explain why, stammers out something about being more affected by a patient's death than he thought he would be, she asks if he can make it through his shift and all he can say is he'll try.]
[He does try, but he's so unfocused and emotionally preoccupied and wasting so much energy on trying to pretend he's okay that he's next to useless. He can tell he's heading for a full-blown anxiety attack, but it's not until the charge nurse tells him to go home, she's called someone in to cover for him, that it finally hits.]
[He can't drive home like this. He clocks out and heads to the breakroom, which is not frequently trafficked in the ER, and curls up in the corner of the couch, hugging his knees to his chest. The plan is to ride out the anxiety until he's okay to drive, but being alone with his own brain is not helping. It just keeps playing back all the opportunities he had to intervene with magic, pointing out everything he did wrong and how this death is his fault. He hasn't felt like this since that first time a patient died on him in the line of duty. It's not something he ever wanted to relive.]
[He needs to talk to someone, he decides. He gets up just long enough to scrounge up a notepad from elsewhere in the room and returns to the couch.]
[Network public; Handwritten; Monday night around 10~11PM]
[ballpoint pen on lined paper; the handwriting is angular, but loose and sloppy. it's obviously written in a rush, but it's still pretty legible.]
Officer Wisniewski died in ICU on Wednesday. Lilian told me today when I came in.
I was there when the EMTs brought him in. I ran his IV, I did his charts. I could have healed him. I could have healed him and I didn't because I didn't want anyone to find out, I didn't want to be arrested for trying to save someone. He was here for a week and I didn't do anything, I even could have snuck into ICU and healed him but I didn't.
I let him die. I let a man die because I didn't want to be caught and if I want to keep hidden I'm going to have to let other patients die too.
I can't do this again. I am in this job because I want to save people. I don't know what to do.
[notes: Officer Mike Wisniewski is the NPC cop who was shot in the same drug bust Angela was 'killed' in. It's been in the news.]
[Anyone with an excuse to be there is welcome to approach Ravi in the ER breakroom for an action thread. All non-action responses will be handwritten unless otherwise stated.]
no subject
I can heal people, and I work a job where it would make a difference, but I can't use it here.
no subject
Is this about Mike? Officer Wisniewski?
no subject
Shit. [a half-hearted mumble that doubles as confirmation. he lowers his head, pressing the heel of his hand against one eye.]
I was here the night he came in.
no subject
So were a lot of other people.
[It's not an excuse, really, or a shifting of blame - just a statement of fact.]
Were you there when he died?
no subject
[in answer to the question, he shakes his head.] I found out today.
no subject
If you'd tried to heal him, you could have gotten caught, could have ended up in front of Sherman. And then you wouldn't be able to help anyone, regular medical help or pulse healing. Do you think it's worth the risk?
no subject
Yes. [it's small and meek, but a little defiant nonetheless.]
[he's not just being contrary for its own sake. risking himself is always worth it if he is doing it to save a life.]
no subject
Then your future patients are lucky to have you. Maybe you didn't help Wisniewski, but you'll help them.
no subject
I know how to risk wisely. [he does!! he just...gets dumber about it when lives are at stake, but he's not going to go around announcing that.]
no subject
You don't owe me an explanation, man.
[Then he gives a slightly wry smile.]
Besides, I'd be hypocritical if I tried to fight you on it. I've, uh, been taking some risks to try to help lately, and I know how much it sucks to have people try to argue you out of it, no matter how smart you're trying to be about it.