text/audio;

[drama8om8]

[ The post opens with a handy little form letter custom-designed by Octavia for people to fill out. Enjoy. ]

Dear Tavia / Alan / Tavia and Alan / President O8ama,

I, (YOUR NAME HERE), am pissed at / super pissed at / really super pissed at / shockingly attracted to you right now. What were you thinking / are you wearing, cutie(s). What you did was irresponsible / reckless / dangerous / actually pretty cool / worse than str8-up murdering a flock of 8a8ies and I can't 8elieve you would 8e so stupid / you didn't invite me / you are not dead / it's not 8utter. Wow, am I ever 8uttmad / asschafed / cheekstung / rearniggled right now. Damn.

To conclude, you are dum8 / 8rave / lucky to 8e alive / actually already punished enough for this / going to get punched in the face / a 8itch / in possession of a really gr8 8utt.

We are / are not friends any more. I hope you die / don't die,

love / no love from YOUR NAME HERE.

[ That done with, she switches to audio. ]

Just thought I'd cut down on the lecture time for everybody. Because while I am sure all of you are oh-so-fucking ready to sate your massive told-you-so boners, I actually have stuff to say! Like "thanks for being super cool badasses and saving us, rescue teams." And "wow those photos being shown on the news are unflattering as fuck." And "please remember we just spent days in solitary confinement thinking we were going to have our brains scooped out." Which means yes! Alan and I are entirely aware of how quote-dumb-unquote my plan was and all the implications of it and blah blah blah don't waste your fucking time fussing at us.

I also want to point out that like. Somebody would have got caught at some point anyway, right? Like this whole deal was only ever going to last so long. And if it had to be somebody it was good that the captives were us! People who didn't fucking talk even a little, no matter what they threatened us with. People who were brave and cool at all times! People who could contact the outside without writing a number in blood or snot or whatever and blowing this whole shitfest operation. You are welcome.

[ There's a half-uttered syllable, then a soft mmgh as she apparently rethinks what she was going to say. Then, in a falsely lighthearted tone: ]

And, uh. Since like. My face is out there anyway I don't really have shit to lose as far as that is concerned! So what if we had me record a message saying that we ain't terrorists. Maybe explain our deal a little or something? And then put it on Youtube or send it to the press or whatever. Like, if there is a way to do that safely and securely and not get caught. And if people think that's a good idea and not me being fucktarded, haha! And stuff.

Comments

[ladyofluminosity]

Luci. You?

But I'm not sure if just one person from a crowd would be enough. And even still, would you be willing to put yourself in danger again? Who's to say they even went hard on you two this time?

[drama8om8]

Tavia. As seen on TV.

And they know my name and face already, right? So like. Making a statement video can't make it worse. Probably.

[ladyofluminosity]

Well, okay, I knew your name, but it's better if we properly introduced ourselves, right? [She smiles a little.]

It's a question of credibility, though. And I'm not sure what it would do, but we're really getting backed into a corner. It's hard to say how long we'll have even the small amount of freedom we have now.

What I'm saying is, it might have more of an impact if others are involved. You're already being colored a certain way. Even your making a video will probably guarantee that it will go viral, but the question is credibility and impact. What would get us the most exposure while not jeopardizing our cause or other people's lives.

[drama8om8]

Uh. About the whole credibility thing? People can't doubt I'm telling the truth if I show them my weird echo shit. Like my wings! And my freaky-ass eye.

That's. Freaky-hyphen-ass, one word. Not like. An eye on my ass.

I'd be tooooooootally cool with other people being involved if we do this, though! Like. I'd have to be really super dumb to fuck up the same way twice! Wow.

[ladyofluminosity]

Thank you for the clarification?

And right, I didn't actually think about that. You could fake it technically, but if there are enough people...

I'm doing some information gathering myself, trying to get a few others involved. If you want, I can give you whatever I find. If or when you do decide to move forward with your video idea, I think it would be a good idea to be as informed as possible. I can also put my feelers out to see if there would be others who would be interested in helping you.

Figurative, of course. That would be pretty wild, though. Feelers.

[She smirks. Yes, she can have a weird sense of humor too.]

[drama8om8]

Uh. You can give me the information if you want, I mean. That'd be pretty sweet. It kind of makes me feel all leadery, though. And I am pretty sure I am done with leadering! Haha.

And just eff-why-eye I have seen way weirder than feelers. One of my friends is straight out of the fucking hentais I swear to god.

[ladyofluminosity]

Fair enough, I don't want to pressure you. It just seemed like a good idea to make sure you were prepared, if you do choose to make the video.

...Out of what?

[drama8om8]

I'l like. Hit you up if I do make it! And, uh. The hentais. You are the second person not to know what those are oh my god do I have to get you to google it too.

[ladyofluminosity]

...Now I'm not sure I want to know, if I have to Google it.

[drama8om8]

Do it. Google image search that shit! What harm can it poooooooossibly do?

Threadjack oh god

[indy_wannabe]

NO LUCI NO

brb dying

[ladyofluminosity]

[Well she was starting to type it in, and it was autofilling with the most... interesting things. Things that need no repeating here. SHE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE TO SEE IT AND SHE'S TURNING RED.]

Um. What is this..?

Wait, you know about this kind of stuff?! Ez?!

[WTF WHY DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS STUFF.]

1/?

[originaloddcouple]

[The Dians, not understanding things such as "using autofill as an understanding of what might be bad to look at" also decided to look up this strange word.

And so the wild world of the internet obliged and gave them many many pictures and links.]

[originaloddcouple]

[So they stared.]

[originaloddcouple]

[And they stared.]

[originaloddcouple]

[And they stared.]

[originaloddcouple]

[And they stared.]

[originaloddcouple]

[And then there was a long, off-screen series of chaos, distractions, and the quick shutting off of computers when Miria's mother entered the room.]

Voice done

[originaloddcouple]

HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT'S A FUN IDEA? NEVER LOOKING THAT UP AGAIN.

AS AUTHORITY FIGURES, WE BOTH DEMAND YOU ALL NEVER LOOK AT THAT SORT OF THING AGAIN.

CAPICHE?!

[drama8om8]

You guys are all adorable as shit.

[ladyofluminosity]

[She's shouting. Why is she shouting.]

I wasn't looking, he was! Were you?! You were, weren't you?! Why would you even--

Why did you tell me to look at this, Tavia?!

[indy_wannabe]

EVERY ANIME FAN HAS HEARD OF THIS STUFF! I TRIED TO WARN YOU!

[originaloddcouple]

HAS LITTLE JAMIE SEEN THIS STUFF?

SOMEONE FIND HIM QUICK, BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!

AND THE REST OF YOU CONTINUE TO NEVER LOOK OR THINK ABOUT THAT AGAIN!

[ladyofluminosity]

Yeah, Ezikiel! Never. Again!

[Because she has the right to enforce such rules.]

[Attention back to Octavia.]

I am going to just act like this didn't happen, okay? Okay. So. Info. Um. If I get anything, I'll let you know. Or if I hear about anyone interested in helping, I'll let you know.

[Mind not on autofill results. Nope. Oh gosh why would you.]

[drama8om8]

I bet little Jamie draws his own hentais, just eff-why-eye.