savetheearth | [video]

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[video]

[When the video feed opens, the first thing to note about Alan's appearance is that he is covered in glitter. The second is that he's dressed to clean. The third is that he looks very, very worried.]

Does anyone here know how to get fairy dust off things? Octavia was practicing her flying and...

[He moves aside to show that the glitter is not just on him, the room he's in is also full of it. As he does, he turns his back on the camera, revealing a sparkly handprint on his butt.]

I need to get rid of this before my mom comes back, but it's taking forever. This stuff really sticks to everything. And I never realised how much dust there is everywhere, I'm never gonna get the place clean enough...

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[ Oh no you didn't. Switches to video and just stares pointedly. What now. ]

[Out of curiosity, Alan glances at Octavia's screen, not really expecting to see anything interesting.

Oh hey it's that guy from his echoes!]

[IT'S THAT GUY FROM HIS ECHOES]

[SCREAM]

[ Holy shit, dude. He leans away from the monitor, wincing at the screaming. ]

Jesus Christ, are you that surprised I'm not a chick?

N-no, I just-

[oh god oh man oh god oh man]

I, uh. Sorry. About that.

[PLEASE DON'T KICK HIM IN THE TEETH]

[ Don't mind Octavia, she's just going to look back and forth between Mr. NotAChick and Screamy McBoyfriend in the hope that this will make sense. ]

THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED.

[ Haha, things that make sense. That's a good one. Still kind of reeling from all the screeching... ]

Maybe you should ask your boyfriend; I think he may have just wet himself.

I ain't asking him, I'm asking you! You did it!

[ Alan is usually so brave and cool and shouty, wow. For him to react to some asshole like that must mean... ]

OH MY GOD ARE YOU THE GUY THAT ATE HIM ARE YOU A TITAN STAY AWAY FROM ALAN YOU SICK CANNIBAL FUCK.