[text | computer]

[iustitia]

Hello, everyone! My name is Tiresias, but those who really know me can call me Akrana Drakozar.

Since I was young, I was always plagued by the feeling that there was always something missing from my life. I kept getting weird flashes of memory and the odd sensation of phantom limbs. It was like I wasn't just me, but rather someone else -- perhaps even in a past life!

It took a few years of soul-searching, I awakened to the knowledge that I bear the soul of a *~*crystal rainbow dragon*~*, but I can shift into a variety of forms, such as a celestial xerfilstyx, a winged foxtiger, a clockwork vampiric hydra, and a flumph.

It seems Akrana Drakozar was the first Incandescent Dragon Lord of the Bringer-of-Ashes tribe of dragons. He gave the gifts of knowledge and learning to the Blessed Platinum Empire of Quxuxex. He was the sole bearer of the Silverclaw Ruby Emeralds, which allowed him to walk the planes in whatever guise he chose. I'm sure there's more out there, but I have not yet been able to tap into the memories of my draconic soul, and of course Earth human literature is going to be of no help in my research.

It's so good to find out that I'm not the only person who feels like this! It's nice to find a place where I can truly be myself. ;]

Comments

text;

[iustitia]

Amazing, isn't it? Almost foolproof, if I say so myself! There's almost no situation in which I do not win somehow. And if there is, by the time it is enacted, it will simply be too late. All attention, whether positive or negative, feeds into my plan. All it takes is for people to not not respond to me. Just that little thing!

And I know for a fact that's the one thing they just can't do.

text;

[enrages]

what if
what if i beat you to the trainwreck?
i wreck my train before you ever get yours on the tracks?
a world dominated by my own trainwreck is far superior to anything you could ever create.

text;

[iustitia]

Scientifically incorrect!

It is a well-documented fact that everyone, no matter their race, religion, political leaning, or taste in will drop all their own fighting at the first hint of a furry or otherkin in order to hate on them!

My trainwreck has been on the tracks for quite a while. I don't think there's any way you can derail it to replace it with your own before I enact my master plan. ;]

text;

[enrages]

i must create my own fursona.
a fursona to beat your shitty one into economic submission.
and once im at the cusp of nerd imperialism, ill explode my empire, destroying yours and any other furry-dominated markets.

text;

[iustitia]

That would be quite the show! Two indescribably terrible furries duking it out for the right to claim the entire otherkin economy for their own devices. It would be a singularity of shittiness and rainbows and probably sparkles.

That is, if you can pull it off.

And I don't think you can.

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[enrages]

he'll be half wolf, half aardvark, and half tomato.
he'll be trans-species AND trans-biological kingdom.

just try me, punk.
i will beat you at your own game.

text;

[iustitia]

yawwwwwwwn

Sorry, but I think I'm bored already! After a while, nothing surprises me anymore. Have you ever seen someone claim to be half queen ant, half Irukandji jellyfish? Or even the Ebola virus? Eccentric identities are simply not enough to beat the likes of me (though I will admit you get points for the tomato).

You're going to have to push it to the limit.

text;

[enrages]

alright fine, you want the goddamn limit?
i will show you the shattered, burning remains of the limit, you punkass piece of shit.

my wolfvarko is trans-ethnic british, because he feels that he fits better in the history of powerful nation than his blood lineage in south america.
he clothes himself entirely in union jacks, despite the fact that there are laws against making clothing out of flags in every western nation.
hes a free spirit who wants to leave the constricting confines of society, one dominated by worthless flumphs and wreeps who have perpetrated social stereotypes against the wolfvarkos for centuries.
his story begins when he decides to finally walk out.
walk out of society, walk out of bullshit, walk out of every stereotypical storyline you could ever come up with.

video;

[iustitia]

[After a few minutes, Teresa turns on her webcam.

What greets Karson's eyes is a riot of color. Her cape and hood are a neon disaster, haphazardly patched together from the most atrocious color combinations that ever graced a Hobby Lobby. It is like a unicorn staggered in drunk and puked rainbows all over her.

The paper mache dragon mask pulled over her head is much of the same, with one key difference: the abundance of rhinestones and glitter peppered across the surface like a particularly generous Minecraft chunk. There is no doubting her commitment to Sparklemotion. Nothing about this can be considered even remotely dignified about the entire affair, but the cherry on top of this monstrosity are the googly eyes she's hot-glued on. Neither of the pupils point in the same direction. Googly eye pupils, when paired, never point in the same direction.]

I have a scalesuit. How far are you willing to go?

[And then she laughs. Even with her face obscured and her voice muffled, you know this voice, Karson. There is no mistaking that horrible hyena laugh.]

1/?

[enrages]

[ oh sweet jesus what is he looking at ]

[enrages]

[ its like if a hobby lobby had a bad case of the squirts and shat liquid creativity all over someone with the most ear-splittingly shrill voice imaginable. ]

[enrages]

[ wow ]

[enrages]

[ woowowowowoww--


wait a second ]

[enrages]

[ he knows that voice ]

[enrages]

[ he knows that hellbeast laughter ]

[enrages]

[ Of course it's Teresa. Fucking of course. Who else would it be? She's the only dragon-loving braindead fuckstorm who'd have the insanity to do this shit. Karson Valenti has never backed down from a challenge, and by god, he is not going to start now. Especially when that challenge has been issued by this chick. ]

[enrages]

[ challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted challenge accepted. ]

[enrages]

[ there is an hour of silence before he responds. ]

video;

[enrages]

Feel intimidated yet, Teresa?

[ Considering he only had an hour to put his costume together and his supplies consisted of several notebooks, 12 different colored markers, and a lot of duct tape, Karson is impressive for once in his short, miserable life. He has made himself an impressive aardvark snout, colored pink and brown. He has added little purple ears duct taped to his hair-- let no one tell you he won't suffer for his art. He has scrawled about 50 Union Jacks that look more like the Confederate flag across a million sheets of paper, taped them all together, and has made himself a cloak that rustles whenever he moves. He has taped a tomato to his forehead, which rests above his bright blue Disney-themed sunglasses, and is offering both his middle fingers (covered in Spongebob band-aids) to Teresa as furious retribution for her pushing him to this limit. ]

Because I think I just won.

1/???

[iustitia]

[About five minutes into the wait, Teresa gets very bored, very impatient, and very hot. It is the middle of the summer, and this shitty dragon costume is uncomfortable on even the best of days. She lasts ten more minutes before she shuts off the webcam, takes off her affront to every god that has ever existed, and wanders off for a snack.]

[iustitia]

[She puts him out of her mind. She has other things to do. She puts on some wonderfully relaxing music and begins working on an art commission (furry art, of course; she's always made a point to advertise different genres as well, but furry art is what people shell out money for) when the video snaps back on, startling her.]

[iustitia]

[that...]

[iustitia]

[that...]

[iustitia]

[is motherfucking Karson Valenti]

[iustitia]

[and he has activated Teresa's trap card

Karson, you poor, naive, babbu fool. You got the game all wrong.

It was never about beating her.

It was about making him play it at all.]