Save the Earth

[Emil is in his bedroom, a small cluttered space. There are band posters on the walls and an unholy chaos of stuff all around. The pile on the right still vaguely resembles a bed but the floor is long gone under all the clothes, sheet music, and what appears to be half of a hardware store.]

First order of business - any idea what this means?

[He takes off the baseball cap he’s wearing to reveal a short, white horn peeking through his blonde hair, sort of like a unicorn]

Got it after the light show. Not sure what’s up with that so I’m open to suggestions. I will also be taking hat advice ‘cause the baseball cap is not tall enough and it’s really uncomfortable. Past me had this - [He holds up a black pointy hat] but as cool as it looks it doesn’t really suit this day and age. [And he doesn’t feel like dressing up like his past self, anyway.]

Second, today one of these teleporting iPods showed up in the living room. Played a shitty song but that’s not the point. Point is that two seconds after it disappeared, I got hit with this Echo.

[He steps out of the picture for a moment to drag something back - a musical instrument, seemingly a perfectly normal ¾ double bass.]

And I mean I literally got hit, it fell right on my head and it fucking hurt.

[Holding the instrument upright, he picks up the bow and pulls it across the strings - hesitantly, as he clearly never tried to play one before. The sound is ridiculously high pitched for its size.]

Listen to that. It’s a violin. I know it’s a violin ‘cause it sounds like one and past-me called himself “the Ultra Big Special Violin player”. I have no idea if you play it like a violin or a double bass and anyway it doesn’t matter ‘cause I don’t know how to play either of those. If you guys know anything about giant magical violins then enlighten me. [He sets the instrument against the wall and sits back.]

Mom saw it, started to freak out about weird things showing up in our home. So I told her and my grandparents everything. Hiding stuff is one thing but I couldn’t lie to their face, you know? [Family. The only people who will never hear Emil’s bullshit.] I've been thinking about that ever since the giant snake thing, anyway, and today was the last push. They took it pretty well, all things considered.

[And by “pretty well” he means that by now they’ve stopped freaking out and no one’s crying anymore. He leans forward to turn off the feed, but stops to add one more thing:]

And yes I’m ignoring the obvious question of WHY THAT FUCK WOULD YOU EVEN BUILD A VIOLIN THIS BIG YOU FUCKING WEIRDO ‘cause it’s easier on my brain.

[Emil out.]