2 / handwritten text

[moarnomsplz]

OK so like all these vision things are kind of coming together and I

[unintelligible scribble; if you're watching in real time, you could see 'don't know what to do' and 'don't think I like it.']

know I'm not the only one who's looking at maybe not [writing more slowly now] being who I thought I was?

Or even what I thought I was.

I kind of feel like I'm whining because I know a lot of you guys are dealing with this kind of thing too and have it worse. Like it's not obvious yet for me. But if this keeps going and I'm going to be some I don't even know. Some probably-alien that's blue and can't talk right. I won't be able to hide it for long.

So what the hell are we going to do? I feel like we should have a safe house or something, but there's not much I can do to make that happen.

Comments

[handwritten]

[moarnomsplz]

It's weird, but even though the main theory seems to be that these are memories we're getting back or whatever, it still feels like it all belongs to someone else.

If all of us could pitch in, it might be enough to rent or buy a place, even if everyone could only pitch in a little.

[espigeonage]

Well, I've had some memories. The Apostle signed up to risk his life when he was eight, and that's not something I'd have done at that age. Not like that. He doesn't think like I do either. He's connected to me, but he isn't me.

Yeah. But how big of a safe house would we need?

[moarnomsplz]

All I've got so far for like memories is the face of someone who was my best friend, or like. I don't know, it's hard to explain.

[Something else, something more, but not like a boyfriend. Like a brother. Like someone whose side he'd fight by.]

And a feeling that my body isn't right.

I don't know how much space we'd need. As much as we can afford I guess. No one who seems to be changing has changed all the way yet so it's hard to say.

[espigeonage]

Not right?

Yeah... We can't just keep stashing people in the clinic, that's for sure. It's not that big, people know where it is, and normies are always coming and going.

[moarnomsplz]

Normies, I kind of like that.

Not right like... It was twice I felt it and the first was in a dream. I just felt different. And the other one, before the repeating thing started, I felt like I was unsteady on my feet. I guess like sea legs or whatever? And it definitely felt weird to talk.

What's the Apostle an apostle of, do you know?

[espigeonage]

"Muggle" just seems like an ugly word, plus, copyright infringement.

Huh... It still feels weird to talk?

The Violet Rose, apparently. Whatever that means. Google says true ones don't exist.

[to audio]

[moarnomsplz]

It feels normal, but it comes out weird. I guess I could show you what I mean.

[He switches to audio.]

I have this thing, ing, where I repeat sounds, but I don't usually know I'm doing it.

Violet Rose sounds, sound-zuh, like some kind of secret society, tee.

[Voice]

[espigeonage]

[It's courteous and he's become more willing to put his voice on the network, so Julien also goes to audio. His voice is... still a bit strange. Resonant, with a hint of reverb, it's very easy to hear emotions in it. In this case, careless cheer but also unease.]

So I see. Troublesome...

Ah, funny you mention it! The Apostle is or was part of some kind of Party - specifically a branch called Heaven-Soaring Wings which is apparently quite mysterious. Some kind of field agent.

[Voice]

[moarnomsplz]

[Whatever's going on with this guy's voice must be hard to hide, too. It's almost like he's got a voice distorter he can't turn off.]

So, definitely some kind of religious, juss, thing, huh?

[espigeonage]

I... I don't know. Maybe. The mission, or - his mission, anyway, was or is to protect humans, though. And there's the implication that there aren't many left.

[moarnomsplz]

Wait, so.

[Sure, Alex thinks he's probably remembering being an alien, but there could really be aliens out there.]

Your vision things, ing-zuh, are from, like, a different world?

[espigeonage]

Maybe so! He was in or visited some kind of realm of spirits, at least. Pretty sure we don't have any of those around here.

[moarnomsplz]

We might, migh-tuh.

[Alex is torn between which would be cooler: the sort of alternate history this guy's visions suggest, or everyone's visions being true at once in this one.]

But humans are still going-ing strong here, so it sound-zuh like your visions are something else.

[espigeonage]

Yeah... I don't know. He mentioned "this world", but didn't specify.

[moarnomsplz]

'He' being-ing your... other self?

Maybe he lives, live-suh, in, like, a secret world. [Alex laughs.] Sort of like we do, now.

[espigeonage]

That's right.

Heh... Maybe so. Or maybe more literally, another planet or dimension, I don't know.

[moarnomsplz]

I think that whatever we're seeing-ing, it's all true, troo. But I don't know how it fits, fit-suh, into our world.