savetheearth | Text - DoppelMarina... no longer.

This is Marina Santana. Not the one you've known for a year and a half now, though. The other. A doppelganger, an evil clone, a shoddy piece of the Earth's attempt at defending itself, whatever you might want to call us.

Before you continue reading, fair warning that this is wordy and, if I may be honest, a bit depressing.

I am relieving myself of that name from this point forward. There is already a blue-haired Marina Santana, with a sword, and magic, who is a reincarnation of Umi Ryuuzaki, and there is no need for further confusion. We are two very different people, if I properly qualify for personhood to begin with. While I do the name I've chosen no justice, as courageous as she was, calling myself Umi Ryuuzaki is better than calling myself nothing, so you may all call me Umi from this point forward.

Marina, don't go cutting your hair. I plan on doing so just so that others can tell us apart. [ Not just that. Much more than that. ] Not too short anyways.

As you may have gathered, I have accepted my otherness. Whatever I am, it is not a person born naturally. There is little that I have any allegiance to, and little reason to change that. Despite that - many of our past selves were not natural in the strictest sense either, and despite my feelings towards a great many people on this planet, I no longer wish to even consider fighting you.

Someone died. I cared about her, despite the fact that she may have cared far less for me. She, and the rest of us around her, were foolish. There are a few things on this green Earth that I do not want to see destroyed, and I plan to fight for those, at least. If I don't seem enthusiastic, that is only natural. I'm not. This seems to be my purpose, though, and if I can find meaning in my life, any at all, by letting this destiny string me along, then my only other choice is to rebel, to rage against it, and destroy myself and others in the process.

I've meandered a bit here, but I wanted to make my intentions and feelings known, publicly, in bare honesty, for the first time in my short life. Make of it what you will; I hardly care if you hate me, and it doesn't mean that I don't hate some of you either, but I'd like everyone to know where I stand now, to facilitate future cooperation. Thank you for your time. Thank you.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

In my experience, it's usually a mix of all of those things.

I realize it may be selfish to say this, too, but... if you need any help working that out... Man, it'd be such an asshole thing to say I owe you this. But I definitely think you deserve it.