Text - DoppelMarina... no longer.

[dragon_blossom]

This is Marina Santana. Not the one you've known for a year and a half now, though. The other. A doppelganger, an evil clone, a shoddy piece of the Earth's attempt at defending itself, whatever you might want to call us.

Before you continue reading, fair warning that this is wordy and, if I may be honest, a bit depressing.

I am relieving myself of that name from this point forward. There is already a blue-haired Marina Santana, with a sword, and magic, who is a reincarnation of Umi Ryuuzaki, and there is no need for further confusion. We are two very different people, if I properly qualify for personhood to begin with. While I do the name I've chosen no justice, as courageous as she was, calling myself Umi Ryuuzaki is better than calling myself nothing, so you may all call me Umi from this point forward.

Marina, don't go cutting your hair. I plan on doing so just so that others can tell us apart. [ Not just that. Much more than that. ] Not too short anyways.

As you may have gathered, I have accepted my otherness. Whatever I am, it is not a person born naturally. There is little that I have any allegiance to, and little reason to change that. Despite that - many of our past selves were not natural in the strictest sense either, and despite my feelings towards a great many people on this planet, I no longer wish to even consider fighting you.

Someone died. I cared about her, despite the fact that she may have cared far less for me. She, and the rest of us around her, were foolish. There are a few things on this green Earth that I do not want to see destroyed, and I plan to fight for those, at least. If I don't seem enthusiastic, that is only natural. I'm not. This seems to be my purpose, though, and if I can find meaning in my life, any at all, by letting this destiny string me along, then my only other choice is to rebel, to rage against it, and destroy myself and others in the process.

I've meandered a bit here, but I wanted to make my intentions and feelings known, publicly, in bare honesty, for the first time in my short life. Make of it what you will; I hardly care if you hate me, and it doesn't mean that I don't hate some of you either, but I'd like everyone to know where I stand now, to facilitate future cooperation. Thank you for your time. Thank you.

Comments

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[alilyinthemoonslight]

She would have hung us both out to dry. All of us, if that gained her the upper hand. I kinda realize that now.

Hn. Seems kinda weird when you think about it. My other'd be the wordy one, here.

[dragon_blossom]

I have to live with having these lingering feelings for someone who was using me, someone who I feared. Loving and fearing someone at the same down is awful. Paralyzing.

It's why I didn't try to stop her.

[alilyinthemoonslight]

...guess I can't really relate, then. Winter Summer hasn't ever SCARED me.

[She just worships the ground she walks on.]

But... I can sort of relate, at the same time. Jasmine... Even when I knew she was self serving, or talking a bunch of bullshit...

I couldn't deny her. Maybe somewhere, I was a bit scared too. Knowing just how powerful she was, and what might happen if she turned that on any of us.

[dragon_blossom]

It's harder to say no to family too.

Plus she was marginally more likely than the rest of us to have Raye on her side. Now THAT would have been a problem.

[alilyinthemoonslight]

It would have, but...

We don't have to worry about either of those, now. Right? I can't, couldn't be that sickeningly happy, fluffy sponge of a person Lily Tsukuyomi is, but... I can think, can't I? I can feel things. [Even her tactless ass is smart enough to leave off the fact, "I have Summer."] That matters worth a damn at least... a bit, doesn't it?

[dragon_blossom]

If you couldn't feel, you wouldn't be so angry at the world. If the way the world treats us didn't hurt in a very human way, there wouldn't be anything to be angry about.

We have feelings and make our own decisions, right or wrong. Not everyone in the world has to be a happy sappy ball of love and justice after all.

[alilyinthemoonslight]

Being a happy sappy ball of love and justice would kind of make me sick, anyway.

But... Umi. I don't know what you want to do with us. With me. Maybe it's too sentimental to say, "Lily considers Marina her best friend after Winter and her sister," and think that needs to tell us what to do but...

MY sister, my Jasmine... She fucked with both of us. She cursed... both of us.

She was important to both of us, too, no matter how much of a bitch she might have been.

If you need anything, just yell. I don't know if that makes us friends like our others, but... You're still kind of important too, alright?

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[jasminebloominginshadow]

I know I'm probably the last person you want to hear from, but... I want to let you know, I regret how everything turned out.

I want you to live the longest, fullest life you possibly can. I don't know if I have any right to say that, but... it's how I feel.

[dragon_blossom]

I'm not sure if I hate you for being kinder than her, if I hate her for being cruel and manipulative, if I hate the circumstances that led to this, or all of the above.

Hatred is not conducive to a long life. I will have to work that out.

Thank you, despite all of that.

[jasminebloominginshadow]

In my experience, it's usually a mix of all of those things.

I realize it may be selfish to say this, too, but... if you need any help working that out... Man, it'd be such an asshole thing to say I owe you this. But I definitely think you deserve it.

[dragon_blossom]

You owe me nothing. Not one thing. You didn't harm me and you aren't the one who killed her either.

If I think you can help though I'll ask.

[jasminebloominginshadow]

Right. Whatever you think you're ready for in the end.

I wish you the best. Really.

[dragon_blossom]

You too. I do not have to tell you to be good to Marina, I'm sure.

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[charcoalfeather]

...Doing this is really brave, Mar-Umi. If they're still planning to kill us, maybe they'll spare you.

So, Jasmine's really dead. Huh.

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[dragon_blossom]

she is. I watched her die. She just vanished into nothing but a couple feathers.

I don't they want to kill us especially not any more.

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[charcoalfeather]

I saw the explosion. I didn't know what to do, so I.... I just left.

[there was a long pause.]

Raye's dead too. By the way.

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[dragon_blossom]

Thought so. You alright?

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[charcoalfeather]

I'm okay, I guess. I don't know. I don't know what to think about anything anymore.

...And, I'm not angry that you left me there. I kind of wanted to be alone anyways

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[dragon_blossom]

That's good I guess I wasn't really thinking much at all about very many things at the time.

This took some time for me to work out, obviously.

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[guitar_case_vagabond]

[She'd spent awhile tapping her foot and considering this message and whether or not to even answer. After awhile she finally but.]

i dunno if im one of those people you hate wouldnt blame you if i was.

but im tired of holding grudges over this bullshit so if you do run into any problems with whatever youre gonna do give us a call

[Hopefully it's apparent who she means by "us."]

[dragon_blossom]

And that makes two of you offering to help. I will keep all of you in mind.

I cannot say that I have any reason to like or dislike you so far, but the other Raye terrified me, so you have to be an improvement.

[guitar_case_vagabond]

[She winces slightly on her side of the conversation, hesitating for a minute or so before answering.]

yeah. she was a real bitch.

so am i but only if you do something to deserve it.




if that helps

[dragon_blossom]

She was indeed.

While I wouldn't say that I've done nothing to deserve it I'll try not to get on your bad side at least.

[guitar_case_vagabond]

yeah well if you remember what marina does you know i did worse than go along with some psycho so itd be pretty shitty of me to hold tht against you.




no offense

[dragon_blossom]

Point taken, and no offense taken.

[ Ah, thanks for dredging that memory up, she'd been doing such a good job of ignoring it. ]