savetheearth | Aftermath / Closed

Entry tags:

Aftermath / Closed

Who: Tony and Richard
What: A much needed chat and a midnight snack
Where: Richard's house
When: Backdated to about 12/5/14
Warnings: Cute stupid feelings and maybe some talk of gore and shootings. To be updated if necessary.

Finally Tony was beginning to feel more like himself, well, as much like himself as he possibly could given the circumstances these days. Sometimes he still worried if by the end of it all would he still be himself or someone else entirely. Would he like that person, would he be proud to be that person? He didn't know. Whatever it was it wasn't human, for better or worse that had kept him alive but also been the reason he'd gotten into this trouble in the first place.

These thoughts kept him up. He'd already spilled what nonsense he could get out of his head into his journal, rolled around in bed fruitlessly, and eventually gave up on trying to get any sleep. Too much to think about, and now his stomach was demanding attention. Ever since his injury he'd been a bottomless pit. He hated bothering Richard with it, so tiptoed his way quietly into the kitchen, careful not to turn on too many lights or make too much noise while he rummaged around for something to eat.

Richard had enough to deal with these days, he deserved his rest.

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Tony wasn't the only one who couldn't sleep that night. Richard wasn't sleeping, but rather working at his desk when he heard the soft sounds of movement and the kitchen light switching on. He considered leaving the kid to it, at first, but a few moments of thought had him deciding that no, he'd left him to it for more than long enough.

"Midnight munchies?" he asked as he reached the kitchen door, expression light with amusement as he placed his shoulder against the frame. It was hard not to notice how much Tony had been eating lately.

"Y'no, we've got some nachos around here somewhere. Salsa, guacamole, sour cream, some of that shitty melted cheese and some fuckin' awful late night television.. what do you think?"

Leaving him to it for too long is part of how this mess got so bad in the first place. Not that any of that was Richard's fault, Tony was the one doing his best to hide the things that troubled him. Something he was apparently pretty good at, unfortunately.

A quietly surprised sound escaped him at Richard's arrival. Oops, caught red-handed. "Yeah," He murmured, a little embarrassed. "Sorry. Didn't wake you up did I?" He couldn't help it, he'd just rebuilt his face from scratch in a short amount of time. That was bound to have some lasting consequences.

The mention of nachos was more than enough to make him forget about being embarrassed, however. He perked up immediately. "That does sound good. I'm for it." And Richard was going to join him for late night munchies? Perfect.

Richard was in the unenviable position of being surrounded by people he wanted to keep safe, who were all too good at keeping the things that troubled them very much to themselves. Though, given that Tony lived with him, there was only so much that he could really hide... and Richard often let him believe that he was far better at it than he really was.

"Nah, I wasn't sleeping." What was sleep, these days? The wolpertinger got more sleep than he did. He moved into the kitchen and clapped one hand down on Tony's shoulder, opening a cupboard up with the other.

"And I thought you might be. Get the oven goin'. Nacho cheese ain't nacho cheese unless it burns off half your tastebuds when you're eating it."

True, and truth be told he was a little surprised he'd slipped under the radar so long. He knew he'd slipped up more than once, but Richard hadn't said anything. So maybe he hadn't noticed? Or didn't care, but Tony didn't really like to think that that might be the case.

"If you're sure," Tony replied uncertainly, a hint of a frown tugging at his features. Richard wasn't getting nearly enough sleep, not that any of them were really. Except the wolpertinger it was fine.

"Sure thing." And he scuttled to go do just that. That's the only way to have nachos after all, scorching in both flavor and temperature.

Of course he cared. He absolutely cared, more than anything in the world, but raising a teenager - and one so troubled as Tony was - was something he could have never been prepared for. Richard could only try his best, and he certainly was, but it was always going to be a learning process.

He just had to hope that he was learning fast enough.

A smile crossed his face as Tony got to work immediately and he stepped up behind him to ruffle his hair before he started rummaging through cupboards to put everything else together.

"Any choices for TV, or shall we play bad movie roulette?"

Definitely not. Richard had not only jumped straight into hard mode parenting, but had the added bonus of hard mode: supernatural edition. Frankly it's amazing he's doing as well as he is, all things considered. Tony would be difficult for anyone to handle, even without the demon problems.

Tony cast a quick smile over his shoulder at the hair ruffle. If it were anyone else he'd find the gesture condescending, but Richard had special privileges. Being someone he was fond of and respected after all.

"I dunno, bad movie roulette sounds good to me. What do you think?"

That was one way to look at it. He liked to think he'd handled it better than most normal people would. Then again, Richard wasn't exactly what you'd call a normal person anymore.

"You're gonna have to bear with me. I dunno if I have six unironically good movies I can take the discs out of so we can play."

He rubbed the back of his head as he thought about. If all else failed, he was sure he had some blank CD cases.

"You really think we have time for six?"

That's a lot of movies. Tony expected to sleep at some point in time eventually, just not right now while he's being a ravenous bottomless pit. Which is most of the time these days. While Richard thinks about it Tony will just go to work collecting ingredients for nachos.

He snorted.

"We're not gonna watch all six." Don't you even know the rules of bad movie roulette, Tony? It's okay, Richard doesn't either, he's just making up this shit as he goes along. "Just the one that gets picked. Look. I'm gonna swap six good movies out of their cases for six bad ones, so we don't know what we're gettin'. Then we pick one."

He makes a small motion with one hand like a gun. Pow. "Like Russian roulette. 'Cept all the chambers are loaded."

Sorry, Tony. Your adopted father is a dork.

He does not! Tony has never played this game before, and has a sneaking suspicion that not very many people have. But that's okay, he's just fine with these rules, after all an empty chamber would be... what.. board games? How boring. You save those for larger groups of people. "Ooohh, now I get it. Yeah that sounds good, let's do that."

He chuckles, shaking his head at the antics. Yeah, that's okay, goofy Richard is great. Definitely makes him feel more relaxed than tense and strained Richard, not that he can be blamed for feeling that way given life's recent events.

They really need a break.

He just makes this stuff up as he goes along, really. It's just nice to have someone around to share his ridiculousness with, when he's chilled out enough to show it. The last year has felt like ten with how much has happened.. and how many times he's nearly lost this kid.

Richard isn't the same person, either. He can feel the strength in his limbs when he moves, the waiting speed coiled tight like a spring and when he looks in the mirror he still occasionally gets a shock at the colour of his own eyes. Things keep changing, but they have each other.

He gets everything set up for the nachos before he leaves the room and lets Tony finish up with the cheese, slipping six of the worst movies he has into the cases of ones that are at least halfway decent.

This kid either has really amazing luck, or really bad luck, it's hard to say which given everything he's been through. The ridiculous is a very nice change over all the serious that's been happening. Take his mind off of everything it dwells on.

At least Richard hasn't ripped out anyone's throat.

Tony takes over, adding cheese and whatever other ingredients he can find to the mix. Diced chilies and tomatoes, a can of refried beans hidden in the back of a cabinet. Couple other odds and ends before the nachos get baked for gooey cheese deliciousness. And of course, salsa once all is said and done.

Once the nachos are finished up Tony joins Richard to start the game of bad movie roulette.

"Fuck, you're a culinary genius," he says the instant Tony walks in with that bowl of.. whatever the hell it is. There's nachos in it, but it's really something else. A softly impressed whistle leaves him, then he's moving to one side to display the six barely decent movies that are holding options far, far more terrible.

Not that Richard owns any genuinely bad movies, but some are just so bad they're actually worth watching.

"Your choice, li'l man. What are we gonna watch?"

"Never underestimate the power of my stomach." Supreme nachos, Richard, haven't you ever heard of it? Well, he's in for a treat. Tony's not exactly incredibly practiced with cooking, but he can throw together some good junk food when given the opportunity.

He sets the still warm bowl down and proceeds to consider the movies carefully. Or at least pretends to, in truth he just mentally did eenie-meenie-miny-moe on them and picked one at random.

"This, what'd we get?" He plucks up a case to offer to Richard.

He takes the case, opening it and grinning.

"Aw, heck. Samurai Cop. You're in for a real treat with this one." It's bad. It's so bad. It's one of those movies that's so bad you can't believe they ever expected it to be good. Richard puts it into the player and settles on the couch, starting the movie and reaching over to pull a nacho free of the mess in the bowl.

"Feelin' okay?"

"Oh man, the title alone sells it." This is going to be great, or so horrible it's hilarious. Either way that's exactly what they wanted. Tony flops down and promptly tucks his knees up to achieve proper ball-form comfort. He does lean over to steal a cheesed-together mess of nachos to chew on, the munchies hadn't gone away after all.

"Huh?" He feigns confusion at the question. More because it's so loaded he wouldn't even know where to start. "Yeah, course. Why?" Because everyone is fine after getting shot in the face, Tony.

At first, he doesn't respond to that. Just like most other times before, he doesn't press or push.. but he's starting to figure out that letting Tony take things at his own pace isn't going to work out very well for either of them.

So, he sighs softly, turning a little to get a better look at him.

"'Cuz you're not okay, kid. Are you?"

If it were up to Tony he'd continue to bottle and bury until, once again, he exploded and did something irreparably stupid. Like tank a bullet with his face, which obviously hasn't worked out so well for him. Unfortunately when you don't know the root of the problem it's even harder to even begin to know where to alter it, so the cycle is doomed to repeat.

And frankly everyone is getting tired of peeling Tony off the ground, Tony included.

"Mmh," It's a hard question to answer. On the one hand, he doesn't want to lie to Richard, on the other hand he doesn't want Richard to think less of him. If he knew what a mess his brain was, would he even want him around anymore? "Just tired and headache I guess." He knows that's not what Richard's asking but he's going to keep trying to dodge.

How would you even word an answer to this?

"You know that's not what I'm talkin' about."

No one ever said that this was going to be easy. Hell, they'd told him when he adopted Tony that raising a teenager, especially an older one, was going to be a lot of hard work. He'd been ready to take that on, he'd thought.

Being a father in any capacity was difficult. This just set the bar to a whole new level.

He rubs one hand over Tony's knee, careful to keep his voice soft and level. "It's alright, Tony. You can talk to me."

He ducks a little. It wasn't a reprimand and he knows it, but he's still feeling guilty about dodging the question like that. Which is to say, poorly. Richard isn't going to let this one drop, is he?

Quietly he gobbles up the last of his nacho, using that as further reason to not answer right away. "Not really," He murmurs, not quite meeting Richard's eyes. Easy enough to do when you have only one eye. "Not really okay, I mean."

Well that's a start?

"... Okay."

The admission is surprising, but it's quickly covered. Richard isn't too good at this - his own emotions these days are confusing at best - but he puts an arm around Tony and rubs his shoulder. Difficult or not, Tony's his kid.

"If you don't wanna talk about it, you don't have to, but you know you can, yeah?"

It isn't easy by any means, but Tony's been holding on to everything for so long it's getting unbearable to keep up. He's already had one breakdown around L, and he'd like to avoid having another. There's a point, when you're exhausted emotionally and it's far too late or far too early to keep fighting anymore.

Tony would just like for things to make a little sense for a change. Tony shifts to lean into him, huffing a tired sigh. He'd not been hiding it well at all, had he?

"Wouldn't even know what to talk about. Sorry I keep gettin' myself into trouble, jus' wanted to do something myself for a change." Instead of relying on everyone else to pick him up.

And in the end that was what happened anyway.

"I know things have been tough for you, and.. I'm no good at this shit." If Tony could be honest then he could return the favour. This has been hard on them both, and in hindsight the last thing he should have done was hope that the kid would come around to talking about it on his own.

Still, he's not driving for a breakdown. Just a talk.

"But you ain't disappointed me yet. I'm proud of you, li'l man."

Don't feel bad, Richard, Tony isn't any good at it either. He lets out a bit of a rueful chuff, nodding in sympathy. At least they're giving it their best shot. But no, there really wasn't any way Tony was going to talk about it on his own. Bottle it up like a champion, but not talk.

Thank goodness he'd like to avoid another one.

"Wha- you are?" By his tone it's clear he's surprised by that. Why the hell would he be proud? Tony hasn't achieved anything noteworthy, at least not in his mind.

"Tch, sure I am." By the way he says it, you'd think he can barely believe that Tony would ever think anything different. He smiles, half-forces a little sound almost like a laugh and glances over to the television for a moment. The movie is honestly bad enough that he isn't regretting not watching it.

There are more important things to talk about right now.

"You're the best damn thing I ever did with my life."

"Why?" As in, seriously, what is there to be proud of about him? He's not accomplished much of anything, certainly not like what Richard had. Frankly Tony finds himself to be a huge disappointment. He can't even keep his own brain in check, much less excel at anything useful.

The movie is quite bad, Tony's not really paying attention either. Really he'd just wanted a snack anyway, movie was just a bonus. A small smile does break through at that last comment though, a little touched.

"You mean it? You don't regret it? I know I've been a lot of trouble for you..."

"You've been worth it," he shoots back, ruffling one hand over the top of Tony's white hair. As selfish as it might be, he's happy that the kid is still on the network, even with the trouble it causes for both of them.

"Look, I'm not gonna say it's not been hard work. A lot of this has been a damned mess, but..."

A sigh. Yeah, he really is bad at this. There are things he wants to say but they're sticking in his throat. "You're my kid, and I love you, and I'm always gonna be proud of you."

Tony's glad as well, and very thankful Richard's still there. If he wasn't he'd be so much more lost than he is. At this point, despite all the horror, he's fairly certain that losing his echoes would be worse than staying.

A few moments of silence before Tony shifts to slump against Richard. Neither of them are good at this, but this is the best he can offer as far as comfort goes. No good with words, but sometimes presence is enough to get the point across.

"Even when I run face first into bullets?" He huffs ruefully, scrubbing at his nose with his sleeve.

"Even when you're doing that," he tells him gently, wrapping his arm comfortably around Tony when he leans against him. It's definitely enough.

"I know you're not doin' any of that shit on purpose."

He picks up another nacho, examining it for a few moments before popping it into his mouth. "And I'm not gonna give up on you. I reckon you need to hear that too."

With some stretching, he snatches another nacho for himself as well. Still hungry, emotionally distressed but also hungry.

"Just wish I could do something about it."

He's tried, but when that fury kicks in there's no stopping it. He just wished he knew how his other did it, then maybe he could do the same. Damn it all.

Oh no. That... yes... that he needed to hear. And even though it brings a bit of a burn to his eyes and a tingle in his throat he's grateful, it means the world. He's been given up on so many times he's constantly expecting it to happen again, waiting and dreading the day that he's just too much work to bother with anymore. Of course, that ingrained needle of doubt will still take time to go away completely, it still helps to have the reassurance. "...Thank you." Murmured quietly, but there all the same.

At least he was still eating. That was a good sign for the conversation, he thought.

Richard might not have been good at this, not really, but he was drawing on the kinds of things that he would have wanted to be told when he was Tony's age and not even going through half the shit he was. What would have have done, then, to have someone tell him that they were proud of him?

"Don't mention it," he replied quietly, gently hugging him closer. "Just want you to believe I mean it, okay?"

With the way his hunger was since the attack (or since his healing kicked in, that's the more likely culprit) Tony will probably eat no matter what. He might have to, for all he knows.

It helps, it really does. It means the world to Tony to know someone he loves and respects as much as Richard is proud of him. He's still not exactly sure of what or why, but maybe he can figure that out. If he does, he can keep making him proud, right? Maybe.

"I believe you. You wouldn't waste your time lyin' to me." Richard wasn't the type, besides what would he have to gain if he did? It felt nice to be wanted, and helped to soothe those flight instincts back down into something more tolerable. It's hard not running away from problems when that's what you've done your whole life. He's doing well though, right? He's only run away that one time.

"Damn right I wouldn't." Sure, he lied sometimes and he was a damned good liar when he needed to be, but about something like that? Never. Tony was a bright kid, he'd realise quickly enough that Richard's actions weren't matching up to his words.

"So don't worry about it. Worry about other things if you want, but not that."

If the only result of this was that Tony had one less thing to worry about, then he was happy about that.

Everyone lied sometimes, it was just a fact of life. But when it came to something important like whether or not you were proud of someone or were making an important promise like this it would be cruel to lie. Besides, he'd figure it out pretty quick. He may lack formal education, but Tony wasn't stupid.

"Got plenty to worry about these days." What he's turning into, what they're all up against. His little surrogate family he's managed to build. His own messed up head. Be nice to have a small load off his mind.

More room to focus on everything else? But still, that is a help, and he appreciates it.

"You and me both," he mutters, thinking much the same thing as he turns his attention back to the movie, the nachos, and lightly ruffles his hand against the side of Tony's hair.

It's funny, he muses to himself behind the mindless way he soaks in the quite frankly terrible movie, the way your life can go. People think they're in control, but if he's learned anything over the past year or so it's that that thought couldn't be further from the truth.

"Hey, if we ever get to sleep, you wanna head out tomorrow? We can do somethin' dumb."

Tony could have told him that, hell Tony's an excellent example of exactly that. Life isn't under any sort of control, and what small parts you do try to control tend to go horribly wrong. But, somehow, it's managed to sort itself out this time. He certainly can't argue with the outcome so far. Barring a few small details.

At the mention Tony glances up at Richard, offering a tired smile. "...Yeah, yeah I'd like that. That sounds great." Going out, doing something dumb, disconnecting from everything for a little while. Yeah that is an excellent idea.

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Aftermath / Closed

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