savetheearth | [audio] one-man wooden box dirt party!!!

[audio] one-man wooden box dirt party!!!

[HEY LOOK, isn't that the number of that one douchebag who died a few weeks ago?? I hope you guys are ready for your daily dose of creepy audio posts, because this one starts with the sound of scratching on wood and some heavy breathing. Soon enough, though, the scratching becomes more erratic and the breathing heavier and louder--and then it's just full blown wheezing.]

Somebody...somebody get me the fuck out of here!

[Then a series of loud 'thud's as the voice becomes more frantic.]

Right now!

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You keep saying that, what the hell does it mean?!

YOU'D JUST HAVE THE BEST TIME WITH BATMAN!

And there was nothing MORE OUTRAGEOUS than when BATMAN TEAMED UP WITH AQUAMAN!

[oh god. oh no.

that is the sickening tell-tale feeling of an echo, alright.]

...Aquaman?

Yeah, AQUAMAN! That's my OUTRAGEOUS SUPERHERO NAME!

You're Aquaman?!

Of COURSE I'm AQUAMAN! That's my SUPERHERO NAME!

Your superhero name!?

Oh Jesus Christ.

Of COURSE it's MY superhero name! I wouldn't be using it if it WASN'T! Is something WRONG?

[Because even he's picking up on a little distress here.]

I was supposed to be Aquaman!

How could YOU be Aquaman? I'M AQUAMAN!

[What is going on he is so confused what is happening]

I'm not saying I was, I just--I was testing to see if I was!

I wasn't.

But why would you need to TEST if there was ALREADY AN AQUAMAN?!

[Gosh, he's still confused.]

I don't know, I just remember trying to see if I could breathe underwater because of Aquaman!

OUTRAGEOUS!

[Wait for it...wait for it...]

I WONDER IF WE WERE...

[Dramatic pause...]

MAYBE POSSIBLY FROM THE SAME OTHER WORLD PLACE!

WOW YES, I WONDER, COULD IT REALLY BE?!

We could maybe be OTHER SELF BUDDIES!

I...I guess we must have been.

[why he was trying to drown himself to be his buddy Aquaman completely eludes him though.]

OUTRAGEOUS!

[is this a moan or a sigh? we just don't know.]

Maybe we even had a SUPERHERO TEAM-UP at one point!

...I'm not so sure about that.

Well, we could have one NOW!

Oh yeah, let's just have a party with Aquaman in my grave, why not!

But what if I brought SPOOKY HALLOWEEN DECORATIONS?

[So maybe this isn't the best way to cheer Jovan up...]

Just to make it FESTIVE!

[Arthur. Arthur, no.]

Yeah, sure--AFTER YOU DIG ME UP FIRST!