[OPEN] Can I get extra sprinkles with that

[bridgeburning]

Who: Actual IRL Alien Badri Barkley and you!
What: Hanging out. Trying new things. Plugging those cultist meetings that are happening in Vegas. NBD.
When: Backdated to Tuesday!
Where: Outside Espresso Yourself
Warnings: None!



[ Anyone around the area of well-known Numbered hangout Espresso Yourself is likely to notice something considerably different about the place today. There is a loud, slightly off-key tune coming from the immediate vicinity of the shop, and anyone following the sound will encounter an ice cream truck parked outside it manned by the most enthusiastic ice cream vendor in the universe.

Except anyone who has ever watched the news should recognise him as being one of the three aliens who landed in Locke a few months ago. One might not expect an alien to be hawking frozen dairy treats, but hey. Maybe he's fallen on hard times?

Not that he looks like he's suffering any hardships, what with the way he's grinning. And anyone watching closely enough may notice that he seems to be giving ice cream away for free. Why not come bother him? If you're easily recognised as one of the Numbered, he might even wave you over. Besides - free ice cream, guys.

Free ice cream. ]

Comments

[espigeonage]

[Julien wrinkles his nose. Everyone's a comedian. He lets it go.]

This wouldn't be ice cream not approved by the FDA, would it? You... [babbling!] Breathe, dude. Badri.

[bridgeburning]

Eff dee eh?

[ That stops the babbling, replacing it with a blank look. ]

It's ice cream! From a truck!

[ DUH. ]

[espigeonage]

...ah. You're one of the aliens.

[As he looks him over, Julien's inner eyelids blink, rapidly enough they only show for a split second.]

Hmm. Basically, I'm asking where you got this and if you uh - added anything to it. We have things like the FDA regulating food.

[bridgeburning]

I added nuts to some of it. And sprinkles.

[ He lifts a handul of the latter to show Julien, before tipping them into his mouth. ]

But all the things were already in the truck when I got it! I bought it from the old owner this morning.

[ As you do. ]

[espigeonage]

Huh.

[He doesn't see any of the tint that came with last year's contaminated water. Julien's only been around so much ice cream since his eyes changed, but this looks normal enough. Like Geoff, Badri looks completely, frustratingly human.]

Where did you guys get money? I hope your planet doesn't have dollars just like ours - that'd just be weird.

[bridgeburning]

I don't know... Meredith is in charge of the money. I like spending it, though.

[ He pauses slightly before laughing, as if checking that he really did just make a joke, then picks up his ice cream scoop and waves it around. ]

But other people don't, which is why the ice cream is free! Do you want some?

[ It is, indeed, perfectly ordinary ice cream. Huh. ]

[espigeonage]

Uh - sure, if I can keep talking to you. Can I get cookie dough with nuts?

[The aliens are not very forthcoming about much of anything. It's worth a shot though.]

Are you younger or more junior than Geoff and Meredith?

[bridgeburning]

Of course, partner! I'm always happy to talk with anybody. But especially the special number people!

[ He whistles along with the tune of the ice cream truck as he starts scooping. It's not exactly what one could call tuneful. ]

You're right, though. I'm the youngest! Geoff is the oldest one, and Merry Meredith is the middle child.

[ Apparently this is funny, since he laughs again. Aliens, man. ]

[espigeonage]

Julien. Call me Julien!

[He has to wonder if Badri's case of the space is a front or not. If it's not, he must have some useful skill or specialty to be sent along.]

You all look different. Are you guys siblings? Did you train together?

[bridgeburning]

Julien! Like jewellery, only different! A good name for a rare and prized special person.

[ All this said without even a hint of self-consciousness, obviously. He finishes assembling Julien's cone and holds it out towards him, grinning. ]

I guess you could call us siblings? It's not a word we use, but it seems about right. I bet you look mighty different from any siblings you have too, huh?

[ Wink! ]

[espigeonage]

You could say that, sure. Ah - hold that still, please.

[The dexterity of his feathers is something Julien would rather most people didn't know about. Embedded in his wings as they are, what's left of his hands are fairly limited; when he reaches for something with a hand, his flight feathers reach several feet farther in the same direction.]

Thanks... Oh, there's still a resemblance. Just less, these days. Do you guys have parents the way humans do?

[bridgeburning]

Mmmh... No.

[ His expression is awkward, almost apologetic. ]

Not as such. But we do understand the concept! I have already started sarcasmically calling Geoff "dad" when he becomes bossy!

[espigeonage]

Sarcasmically? Oh, I bet he likes that.

[Nuts and cookie dough ice cream. Hmm, it's an interesting combination.]

So how do you guys propagate?

[bridgeburning]

We start off as empty brains that get hooked up to machines and filled with memories and information until we're ripe, then we get transplanted into a suitable host body and are ready to go out into the world.

[ Badri remains completely stoic and straight-faced while saying this, and for a few silent moments afterwards.

Then he completely cracks up. ]

Haha, no, seriously! That is a pretty personal question. And it is hard to explain in Earth terms! You don't have words for any of the central concepts. It is very inconvenient!

[espigeonage]

[Julien tips his head, about to ask another question - oh. He smile ruefully.]

You can't blame me for being curious, though! It's really that unlike how Earth life goes on?

[bridgeburning]

Yes! All I can really explain is that it involves... energy transfer? Inheritance? You don't have the right words...

[ He looks frustrated for a moment before offering a good-natured shrug. ]

Maybe it is for the best! I found your parasitic tummy-growths quite repugnant when I first learned of your methods of propagation! And I would not want to seem repulsive to you.

[espigeonage]

Hah. Well, it's mostly mammals that do it like that. Things get different the farther you go from there. Especially with microbes, apparently.

...between you and me, yeah, pregnancy is kinda fucked up and I'm glad it's not something I have to worry about.

[Just indirectly. ...he's glad he's basically infertile now.]

So if it's not too personal, do you guys grow up like we do, or are babies and little kids really weird?

[bridgeburning]

It's... different.

[ How surprising. He taps his fingers together, searching for the right way to explain things. ]

There are Children and there are Mans. But Children do not grow up to be a Man as happens to humans. I am one of the Children, and I will never be a Man. But that is not a bad thing!

[ How thoroughly enlightening, am I right? ]

[espigeonage]

...Huh.

[Julien tilts his head, forgetting that he's trying to avoid birdlike gestures.]

Are the Mans... bigger? Do they have more responsibilities or powers or something?

[bridgeburning]

They are... different. Some are bigger. And I guess that they are more powerful! But mostly they are just different.

[ He smiles blandly. ]

The Children know more, I think. But that is the way with human children too, isn't it? They always think they know the most, too!

[espigeonage]

[Castes, Julien wonders? Genders?]

Hard to say! Lots of people think they know it all.

So - Tiny, Geoff, Meredith. Are and were they all Children too?

[bridgeburning]

Geoff and Meredith, yes. Tiny...

[ He looks thoroughly uncomfortable and unsure of what to say. ]

I do not like speaking about Tiny much. It was not one of the Children. It went rogue.

[espigeonage]

Really? Huh. [he wants to ask about Tiny, but his own wariness about Badri and typical unwillingness to make people uncomfortable stall him up.] He was pretty weird.

[...yeah he wants to ask but feels he shouldn't. Julien winces as a bit of melting ice cream runs into his feathers and licks the outside of the cone.] So if you're the silly one and Geoff's the responsible one, what's Meredith like?