Dated to June 7th

[pheromonecoffee]

[Matt Abbot sits before you today in a spinny desk chair, illuminated by his laptop screen. If you thought Matt couldn’t get dumber, you were wrong. You were very wrong. He is making good on his threats of stupidity so over the top they’re impossible to believe. Today Matt is wearing a surprisingly well made masquerade-style eye mask, black with a diagonal cut of blue over his left eye. And he is also wearing a surprising well made collared cape, black with a blue lining. He is also just wearing generally nice clothing under it because you can totally dress like a supervillain and still be stylish.

He steeples his fingers, a sly(ish) smile on his face.]

Greetings, Numbered. As I have been recently freed from the mortal prison of mandatory education, I am now free to pursue any future I wish. … Until August because I have already paid my tuition deposit.

But until August, Locke City, you are being watched. I will be your worst nightmare. I will be a supervillain the likes of which none of you have ever seen before. Such dastardly deeds as speaking in a fake New Jersey accent, directing tourists to the wrong streets and ripping tags off mattresses will happen on the streets every day for as long as I remain in its borders. I will accomplish all my good deeds by questionable means, causing me to become a terrible menace who will puzzle philosophy majors because no one can tell if I'm actually being a bad person. [He leans back in his chair, doing his best to look mysterious and dangerous.]

My first dastardly deed will be a kidnapping. Next Monday, June 16th, I will be kidnapping one of your number, heroes, and taking him with me to Las Vegas. If you wish to guarantee his safety, there is room for two others to accompany us on our cross-country trip. If you wish to ensure his safe return to New Jersey, then you may contact me and we will discuss plans.

[And with that the video turns off. However, Matt is still going, typing. He’s posting a selfie, too, of him in graduation robes. He’s got the National Honor Society gold graduation stole and everything.]

Graduation’s next weekend, too. My parents and my aunt and uncle are the reason I can take the trip--the car’s a graduation thing. Being serious for a second, though, if you want to come, the car is big enough that it won’t be an awful trip. Leaving the 16th at 8AM. If you’re under 18, I need parental permission. I’ll text you my number.

Comments

[sunshinethatwarmsherup]

Okay! I'll be sure to keep an eye out for any messages from you on the network then about being here. Hopefully everything will go well for you on the way here though. It is a pretty long trip, after all.

[pheromonecoffee]

It'll be about three days. It's the longest I've ever driven, but I think I'll make it.

[sunshinethatwarmsherup]

[ Linda laughed at that. ]

Just make sure to rest and not push yourself then. Three days is a long time to be doing much of anything constantly. Are you going to be the only driver?

[pheromonecoffee]

Everyone else is too young. We'll stay nights in motels and stuff so we get enough sleep, so it should be manageable....

[sunshinethatwarmsherup]

Are you sure that it's a good idea to be driving with you as the only driver? There's no one else who's able to drive that wants to go with you?

[pheromonecoffee]

I'll be fine. But five people in a car is a little much, and I promised Mr. Amada that I'd only bring people I really trusted. My cousin and my right-hand-supervillain.

[sunshinethatwarmsherup]

[ Then why don't you get a bigger car? Oh. Right. Matt was a dumb. Duh. ]

Well, I can't really stop you, so just make sure you're careful then. The last thing you need is to be passing out at the wheel because you pushed yourself too much.

[pheromonecoffee]

[Because his parents bought him this?]

I don't think I'll get that option with the people I'm bringing.

[sunshinethatwarmsherup]

[ Have someone rent a car for you guys then. Duh. ]

Okay. Good. See you when you guys get here to Vegas then!